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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
How can I reconnect with my "cooler" cousin over the holidays?

(I only mean "cooler" in the sense that if you saw us standing next to each other you would know I was me)

How can I reconnect with a cousin that I used to be close to?

Growing up I was the oldest cousin so by default I ended up being the 'leader' among my sister and our two cousins. Now I feel intimidated around the cousin I used to be the closest with because of my SA. He's two years younger than I am but growing up we were (by my estimations) best buds. He's really sociable with other people but it's like he has a barrier up around me now because he has seen my anxiety and awkwardness develop over the years. The sad thing is that we are actually interested in a lot of the same things but he has no idea because he hasn't really tried to get to know me for the last five years or so. I went to college to study film and my cousin is currently in college studying film. We used to make films as kids growing up. We used to hang out when we were in high school. Now we only see each other at family gatherings and it's always the same stilted, awkward conversations.

I am beside myself wondering how I can break through to my cousin and prove that underneath my socially awkward exterior I am still a person. It's so depressing seeing how he looks at me like I'm inferior to him. I do my best at family gatherings to speak up and "act normal" but I usually just end up counting the seconds until it's over. It seems like my awkwardness has become a source of amusement to him because he's always holding back a smirk at my feeble attempts to communicate. I'm sure he thinks I'm an idiot.

Our families are sharing a cabin for three days around Christmas time. I just need some pointers on how to get by with minimal damage to my already crippled self-esteem. I want to reconnect with my cousin and I feel like my anxiety is the only thing standing in my way. But if he doesn't seem to care, why should I try?
 

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I went through a similar thing with my brother, we only get along after we both have a few drinks and relax, the rest of the time is awkward silence.

I really can't advise, sorry, I haven't solved it myself.
Other than have drinks with him, or smoke weed or whatever it is to relax you both and let the communication flow.
 

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Bump.

Be back in the morning/afternoon to see if I can't be more useful.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I went through a similar thing with my brother, we only get along after we both have a few drinks and relax, the rest of the time is awkward silence.

I really can't advise, sorry, I haven't solved it myself.
Other than have drinks with him, or smoke weed or whatever it is to relax you both and let the communication flow.
Thanks anyways. I realize things may never be the way they were before, I just want to do what I can to open a channel of communication again.
 

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Much obliged.
Not at all. Sorry it took so long, too. Bad, bad day.

I know you said that when you guys try to talk that there's awkwardness, but have you tried to let him know what you've told us here? Either in person, on the phone, through email? Maybe he doesn't know how much you guys still have in common because all he can see is what is projected (the awkwardness).
 
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