I know it's not easy, but I'm tired of living my life like this. I really don't wan to go into adulthood feeling scared to talk to people and even stepping out of my house. I want to change. I'm actually seeing a therapist but I don't see any progress there. I just need steps on how to slowly overcome the fear of being in social places and be able to talk to people. All my years growing up I heard "why don't you talk?" and was called the shy, quiet girl and I really want to changed that. Yesterday I went to my cousin's birthday and sat next to my aunt who is mentally disabled, but doesn't look like she is she just acts like a 13 year old when she's actually 29. I sat at the tables with her and couldn't even think of anything to say to her even though I'm comfortable around her my mind goes blank. At the party I waited like 2 hours until I felt comfrontable to get up and go to the bathroom. Why? Because I feel people are going to stare and judge me. My 2 cousins and my cousin boyfriend went to a car show in the middle of the party and it got me thinking that if I wasn't this stupid quiet girl they would be happy to invite me. Also, I feel that people are seeing me as a werido because Im in therapy and I'm not going to regular. My Mom told my grandparents that I'm doing those two things, which is fine but then my Grandma goes and tells everyone she knows and my Grandpa I feel treats me differently. My Grandma actually does treat me a little different too, like her daughter my aunt that I was with in the party. She actually compared me to her that we are the same way, but I beg to differ. My brain is working properly but I just can't speak, I guess.