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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey guys. I have a hard time making friends in general and I need some advice. I've been trying to be more social as of late but it's hard because I just don't have a lot of social connections. And I'm not someone that can just start talking to random people since I'm not a good talker. I need a legit reason to start talking to anyone. I know this is a wrong approach if I want to make friends but I just can't overcome the feeling of social anxiety. I can't even talk to a girl because of this... And when I do, it becomes very awkward. I'm sure there are people that have overcome SA. Please give me some advice on how to open myself to others and start making friends.

Thanks for reading :)
 

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Am sorry but that's like asking for the HOLY GRAIL on this forum.
 

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I'm in the same situation myself. It's probably hard for a lot of people on here to make friends. The couple of friends I do have, I was just myself with them. I wasn't the one approaching them though, they started talking to me first. I was honest with them with what I had so it would explain things when I was nervous or blushing or shaking etc. I do have a hard time approaching people. Something I need to overcome.
 

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Well obviously I have the same issue as well. I do try, and haven't been entirely successful, but I'm not giving up.

If you say you need a reason for interaction, you should try joining a class/pursuing a hobby/interest or something. I did dance for a little and actually did make some friendships there. I prematurely had to leave, but it still made for great socializing.

Also, try meetup.com to see if there are any meet ups in your area.

Or volunteering. I met some cool people awhile back by volunteering at a youth centre.

And since you said you're not great at conversation, maybe that's something you could try and practice? When trying to come out of my shell, I set little goals for myself. For example, you should make yourself go out, buy a coffee, then make small talk, or even just one comment, to the cashier. Or, say you're at the bus stop, ask someone for the time, or if the bus passed by. The point of the initial challenge isn't for people to like you, or to make long-lasting friendships - it's initially just to get you more comfortable with speaking, and used to interaction. Some people will respond positively, others negatively, but it's a great exercise.

If you want help or anything, feel free to PM me :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Well obviously I have the same issue as well. I do try, and haven't been entirely successful, but I'm not giving up.

If you say you need a reason for interaction, you should try joining a class/pursuing a hobby/interest or something. I did dance for a little and actually did make some friendships there. I prematurely had to leave, but it still made for great socializing.

Also, try meetup.com to see if there are any meet ups in your area.

Or volunteering. I met some cool people awhile back by volunteering at a youth centre.

And since you said you're not great at conversation, maybe that's something you could try and practice? When trying to come out of my shell, I set little goals for myself. For example, you should make yourself go out, buy a coffee, then make small talk, or even just one comment, to the cashier. Or, say you're at the bus stop, ask someone for the time, or if the bus passed by. The point of the initial challenge isn't for people to like you, or to make long-lasting friendships - it's initially just to get you more comfortable with speaking, and used to interaction. Some people will respond positively, others negatively, but it's a great exercise.

If you want help or anything, feel free to PM me :)
I've heard that small talks help. I guess I'm just not trying hard enough... Thanks for the advice!
 

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It can be a hit and miss situation sometimes. You can talk to random people but you won't always be able to make friends with them, and it's not a problem about you, it just might be that you don't click with the person per se.

For me what I find easiest is making friends through work and school. It's where I spend the most time. If there's an assignment, I'll ask the person next to me what they're planning, how their project's going, ask any questions, etc. and it'll go from there. With some people it's strictly school or work related conversations, with others things just fall in place and we end up talking about more personal things and wanting to hang out outside of school/work.

Whatever activity you're doing at the moment is a good way to start conversations. Don't worry too much about what you'll say next. Listen to what the other person is saying and go from there. Easier said than done sometimes but it's how you get the flow going :)
 

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You could make friends online, I don't know if you would consider that to be genuine or not but you'd have someone there to talk to. Only way to make genuine friends is to be your genuine self. If they really can respect you for who you are then they'll stick around, if not then it will mostly be a superficial friendship.

That's just one small thing to note.
 
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