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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My youngest brother is extremely shy like I am. He reminds me of myself in many ways: his shyness, his obsession with video games and cartoons, his sense of humor. I just fear that he has trouble socially among others his age and that his social skills won't improve (like mine didn't really). I don't want to somehow transform him into a social butterfly, but I just want to make sure he's ready socially when the moment comes for him to make friends on his own.

When you put him in a crowd of kids his age that he doesn't know very well, he won't say anything the entire time. He'll respond awkwardly if you talk to him (almost like he wants you to go away) but he's just really shy and it takes him a while to get comfortable around other kids. He graduates from elementary school and enters middle school next year, and I'm very worried about him honestly. I know how to get him talking because I know what he likes, but other people don't, not even my parents. My parents enable his anti-social behavior by ignoring the obvious signs that he doesn't know how to respond to social situations. You would think after what happened to me they'd know not to just pretend everything is all right :roll. He's a very smart kid (way smarter than I was at his age, he practically gets straight A's), he's just too shy around other kids and other people in general. Parents, relatives, classmates, strangers, anyone that's not his brother: he won't talk to them (not willingly anyway).

He has a friend in school who he seems to get along with, which is a good sign. I know he can make friends when he's comfortable enough around them, he just has to let his guard down and lighten up a bit. He has a sense of humor, but he chooses to show his brains first and doesn't really get jokes sometimes. Like he'll get it but he won't find it that funny.

I'm gonna keep a close eye on him as I get older and as he does too to make sure he doesn't end up where I am now. My parents don't seem to be worried about it at all, which honestly frustrates me a bit because I'm miserable right now and me and him are like clones when it comes to social ineptitude at a young age. They didn't do anything about me and I end up with SA, so what happens when another extremely shy kid comes? "He'll be fine, he's just a little shy..." :mum

Am I overreacting? Does anyone have any advice?
 

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Sternritter
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I don't think you are overreacting. The kid is still young enough to be redeemed. Don't have advice as far as making friends tho sorry. maybe you could talk to him about your sa and tell him to try and talk to people more.
 

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In 'da 707
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Hmm maybe ask urself what do u think would have been most helpful to u at his age? I don't think you're overreacting at all. He could end up w/SA. Definitely keep a close eye on him, as it doesn't sound like u can count on ur parents to do that. If things go further downhill as he gets older, u might have to be an advocate for him to your parents and his teachers so he can get help.
 

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For now do some fun activities with your brother and go out more, teach him sports, and ask him to join a club thats interested him.. by socialize more hopes can help your brother..
 

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youre a good brother :yes
 

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don't judge his social skills

You think you are bad with people. That judgement itself is hurting one person, and that is you.Don't judge your bro's skills right away. i find your social skills quite good.

You are compassionate towards your brother. That shows me you are a decent social being.

Some fine tunings can help anyone. Having a friend with whom you can confess your darkest truths can help. But it's difficult to find such a friend.

It is possible to improve social skills...and that is by developing an open-mind and learning from mistakes and from others criticism. Not judging right away that i am bad at it. When you make a mistake, don't condemn yourself, make an effort to correct it next time. That's the right attitude.

Ask some mature elder(like ur brothers teacher) if he is doing well at school. If he is not, then help him or please consider him improving socially at his own pace. Leave him alone.

If there is problem, You might want to make him meet someone who is both matured and ready to help your brother. Can openly talk with your brother.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I think a guide would have helped me at his age, so I guess I'll try to be that way for him. Thanks for the responses, I really appreciate the suggestions :yes
 
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