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Discussion Starter #1
I think it's a huge part of my social anxiety. I don't make eye contact with others at all (unless I have to know what they might be thinking depending on the situation) because I'm afraid of signs of dissaproval or rejection from them. Usually when I respond to others, I'll give quick replies, but if I have to explain something it usually takes a while for me to express my thoughts, because i'm very analytical and I try to consider every possible idea.. but unfortunately most people expect quick answers because people aren't very patient. So that combined with the lack of eye contact makes me appear very withdrawn, aloof, self-involved, and unapproachable, which makes it nearly impossible to make friends, and I don't have any at all.

So how much do you struggle with eye contact and communication?
 

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I can make eye-contact really easily but if the person is staring at me for a long time I have to look away momentarily but then I continue to look at them in the eyes. My communication skills on other hand depend on the person I’m talking to. I can’t predict who I’ll be comfortable around. I also have a difficult time explaining myself. Sometimes I have a tendency to jumble my words or make no sense whatsoever lol. My explanations can be very long-winded and there’s lots of time where I don’t remember my point. It can be confusing listening to me lol but it’s because I’m thinking so much and overanalyzing everything I saw.
 

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HaloOfDarkness
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I use to be really bad at making eye contact and then I read that making eye contact gives out a very important message to others, one being that your listening, two being that your telling the truth since some people let their eyes wander when they are telling lies and three being that it makes you look confident and sure of yourself. It took me a long time to work on looking in other peoples eyes but now I do it all the time and have absolutely no problem making eye contact. I actually enjoy it. Sometimes, it's my way of flirting. Starring into someones eyes for too long though, I tend to blink alot and look over their shoulder to keep the eye movement constructive.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
I can make eye-contact really easily but if the person is staring at me for a long time I have to look away momentarily but then I continue to look at them in the eyes. My communication skills on other hand depend on the person I'm talking to. I can't predict who I'll be comfortable around. I also have a difficult time explaining myself. Sometimes I have a tendency to jumble my words or make no sense whatsoever lol. My explanations can be very long-winded and there's lots of time where I don't remember my point. It can be confusing listening to me lol but it's because I'm thinking so much and overanalyzing everything I saw.
lol, yes i can totally relate to you when it comes to communication. a lot of times i will lose my train of thought because i'm so caught up with explaining things in minute detail. i should have mentioned that in my first post, lol.
 

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i'm like a roller coaster, there are days that i dont have any problems making eye contact and other days i do. same with communication, sometimes i can talk well and clearly and other times i just keep it short and to the point.
 

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sa challenger
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I hate making eye contact. Can't think straight when I do. I also hate that people assume others are lying when they look down or away. I do that all the time, although I have been practicing looking in the eye. For many years I thought I was supposed to look people in the eyes, meaning both eyes at once, but that just makes me feel dizzy and probably look crosseyed. I start concentrating on the persons eye color, or how I feel about the person instead of the conversation when I look in someone's..eye. I must shift my eyes or I'd probably faint or run away.
 

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It might help to look at someones forehead when you speak to them. Or maybe just above their eyes... someone suggested that in another thread. I haven't tried it yet, because I keep forgetting.

My eyes start tearing up sometimes if I stare into someones eyes too long, so I try to look away every now and then. It doesn't seem to be as much of an issue to me with men. It happens more with women and not just attractive women but women in general. Women are more receptive of signals and knowing that always makes me really self-conscious.

As far as sentences go, I'm also analytical. I try to make the things I say perfect but end up being indecisive in speech.
 

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I'm good with eye contact when someone is speaking to me unless I am feeling particularly embarrassed or ashamed about something. It's harder when I'm speaking and in certain specific situations (with restaurant waitstaff, for example, which I don't really understand), and impossible if I am feeling embarrassed.

I don't even try to give detailed answers or explanations so I never end up saying what I really think or mean.
 

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I heard somewhere that you should just worry about looking into someone's eyes long enough for you to see what their eye color is. This has helped me a few times but I'm still not very good at it.
 

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I struggle with eye-contact, I never know how much to give, and when i do give eye-contact I often shy away from it quickly, or I'm afraid my eyes will show just how insecure I really am - which is uncool/unattractive. I've been shy for so long and looking away, I believe my natural ability to gauge how much eye contact to give is rarely working. With guys I don't want to give too much, i guess I'd think that would weird them out. With girls I'm afraid of sending the wrong signal, in that I'd show a girl I like more eye-contact.
Often times I try to find myself busy with something so that I can focus on that and limit my eye-contact.
 

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PASTAMANIA BROTHER
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Eye contact is horrible for me. For some reason I feel like a fool when I look someone in the eye for more than a few seconds. I always feel like I need to look away. I hate that feeling.

I think my communication would be better if I didn't slur words and stuff so often. I do this even when I'm talking to myself and aren't anxious. I think I've been quiet for so long that I've forgotten how to pronounce properly lol.
 

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I think my communication would be better if I didn't slur words and stuff so often. I do this even when I'm talking to myself and aren't anxious. I think I've been quiet for so long that I've forgotten how to pronounce properly lol.
I can definitely agree to this. Both of my parents are strong speakers and every word they say is clear. I don't know how I became such a poor speaker. Even if I'm in the car by myself trying to sing along with a good song, my words just don't come out even and my throat literally starts to hurt after a while.
 

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I'm very bad at making eye contact. It is very difficult for me to even look at someone's face, let alone their eyes, with anything but my peripheral vision. I can't even have my face oriented directly towards the face of the person to whom I am talking -- my face must be directed off to the side of their face.
On the communication side of things, everyone I have ever talked to in my life say that I mumble and talk softly. These two attributes of my speech alone make it difficult to understand what it is that I say and I often have to repeat myself multiple times. But, as stated before, this has been the case my entire life. Here lately, however, my speech is becoming less and less like what would be my written version which conveys the same meaning. Words now commonly come completely out of order when I talk, compounding the difficulty already posed by my natural speaking habits. I've also noticed that my subject-verb agreement is starting to slip more than normal in my speech.
 

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I can make eye contact with people when they are talking to me, but i don't always look at their eyes, i look at their mouths coz i have a slight hearing problem, i like to lip read.
If i am talking to someone, sometimes i can make eye contact, and then i will look away for a while at like the thing/wall just next to them. Then back again.
After I have spoken to that person or at people. i look at their face really hard whilst waiting for them to answer to see if i can make out what they are thinking/whether they think what i said was boring or weird/silly.
 

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I try to do the eye contact thing but as soon I do i forget what I was saying, and I start analyzing the person for their impression of me lol. I also find it hard explaining myself, always going over everything in my head.
 

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I think I give way too much eye contact when talking to someone, I'm afraid they think I am creepy and staring at them and stuff, so I always try to look away a bit. I can't give eye contact to people I don't talk to though, like people I pass by on the street or something
 

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My communication skills on other hand depend on the person I'm talking to. I can't predict who I'll be comfortable around. I also have a difficult time explaining myself. Sometimes I have a tendency to jumble my words or make no sense whatsoever lol. My explanations can be very long-winded and there's lots of time where I don't remember my point. It can be confusing listening to me lol but it's because I'm thinking so much and overanalyzing everything I saw.
Yes! I am randomly comfortable around some people and find myself rambling to them. Other people I can know for years and still have that blank mind effect. I never know who I'm going to be ok around and who I'm going to go mute around. My explanations are so long-winded and confusing too that I just tell people it's "Tanianese". :um

strugglingforhope said:
I struggle with eye-contact, I never know how much to give, and when i do give eye-contact I often shy away from it quickly, or I'm afraid my eyes will show just how insecure I really am - which is uncool/unattractive. I've been shy for so long and looking away, I believe my natural ability to gauge how much eye contact to give is rarely working. With guys I don't want to give too much, i guess I'd think that would weird them out. With girls I'm afraid of sending the wrong signal, in that I'd show a girl I like more eye-contact.
Often times I try to find myself busy with something so that I can focus on that and limit my eye-contact.
This is exactly how I feel about eye contact. I never know what's too much, what's too little, what's giving away my anxiety, etc. At my last job my desk faced the side of my coworker's desk so I was always technically looking at her. Well just facing her, you know what I mean. Yet whenever I would speak to her I would find myself staring at something out the window instead of looking at her. She must've thought I was nuts.
 
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