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I feel a bit disappointed and sad as I had to kill two chickens who were deadly sick. The killing itself was the first time for me so it didn’t go the way I had hoped it would in my head. I guess the experience is part of life and getting stronger mentally though. At least I had the guts to do it and take the initiative.

But I keep replaying how I handled it and how the chickens reacted in my head. I should have done it swifter.
 

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Looks like at least one other chicken caught the virus, this thing isn’t over yet. It is very hard to keep them healthy with all the lice and mosquitos plaguing them. I’m pretty tired of repeating all kinds of actions to prevent lice in their home every single day but it is unwinnable and now they seem to spread diseases. One by one they turn sick despite my efforts. My last bunch of chickens were killed by a fox, now it is a virus. I think I had enough of keeping chickens for now!
 

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It is Sunday…so I am miserable and cranky as usual. Have to do the company/pretend I care about football thing today on top of it. Ugh.
 

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I feel ok. Just woke up and got some coffee. Back in bed with my doggos. Thinking about actually getting dressed and ready today even if I don't go anywhere. Maybe paint my nails and wash the car.
 

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I am feeling alright I guess. I’m at home sitting on the couch trying to relax. I tend to go into a panic over the slightest of things, it takes very little effort to trigger me into a world of hopelessness so I’m trying to learn to develop a sense of calm in my soul.
 

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Had a hard time sleeping last night/early morning, in part because of anxiety. Let's see how today turns out...
I didn’t sleep all that well last night either. I decided to sleep on the floor because this usually helps my anxiety and all though I don’t regret it over my other option—the bed, I still tossed and turned a lot during my sleep and I woke up feeling physically and mentally annoyed by the whole night.
 

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It was weird to hear my sister on the phone. I called to ask her what hotel she's staying at and she sounded completely different. I had to ask if it was even her when I called. Lol I know people sound different on the phone but she sounded completely different. I guess I'll know what she sounds like when I see her in person.
 

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It was weird to hear my sister on the phone. I called to ask her what hotel she's staying at and she sounded completely different. I had to ask if it was even her when I called. Lol I know people sound different on the phone but she sounded completely different. I guess I'll know what she sounds like when I see her in person.
My sister sounds so Northern now. 😂 This will take me awhile to get used to. It's weird but not in a bad way.
 

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My sister sounds so Northern now. 😂 This will take me awhile to get used to. It's weird but not in a bad way.
This is the sister that moved to Iowa? I am from Iowa and I have lived in the UP of Michigan for 26 years and everyone here thinks my accent is southern. 😂
 
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This is the sister that moved to Iowa? I am from Iowa and I have lived in the UP of Michigan for 26 years and everyone here thinks my accent is southern. 😂
I always thought Michiganders sound Canadian. Even when I lived in Toledo there was a bit of that in the local accent there. It was very apparent to me because I was not from there. Imagine the hell I went through in a Toledo school with a real Southern accent. Let's just say I found a way to lose it as fast as I could.
 
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