[Deeley]

My partner has offered for a mutual friend to come and stay at our house on the weekends with his young daughter whilst he goes through a messy breakup. I can cope with him (he has lived with us before, and is one of the few people I feel I can be around), however, the thought of our house being crammed with 2 extra people (on top of the 6 of us that can be here) is filling me with dread already. I can't stand the mess, disorganisation and lack of space to be alone.

My step-daughter already lives with us, and I find this difficult. She is everything I am not, and talking to her just drains me. I also don't trust her, so I avoid eye contact, try not to start conversations, and 'hide' in other rooms just avoid her.

Her being there, plus the prospect of these additional house guests are increasing my anxiety ten-fold. No chance of talking to my partner about this, he is a firm non-believer in all things mental-health and thinks I'm the drama queen!

 

[Marci07]

Wow... this is a tough situation.. I myself struggle with houseguests and having that many would certainly would sent me to my highest anxiety levels...

At times I have the same issue with my husband who contrary to me, he's very social. Even though he's aware of my social anxiety. Many times he treats me as if I didn't have it because I'm very suportive of his plans but in many occassions I had to really put my foot down even if it caused a big argument. In your case, I would put my foot down and I would demand that your partner provides a plan that would work for you.

For example, have guests go out to eat during their stay instead of eating at your house. Have your partner take them out to the zoo, park, or any other place so you can get your alone time to recharge.

If he's not willing to work it out for you, your sanity is more important. I would just take a mini vacation and stay at a nearby hotel for a night or two.

People without anxiety think that we can just deal with these situations easily, but it is not until we make a big deal out of it that they realize that our anxiety is very VALID and IMPORTANT.