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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
It's constantly giving me stress both online and in real life. On forums I see people discussing, trolling, and having fun, but I can't participate, sometimes because I simply have nothing to say and other times I can't express my thoughts in the form of sentence. Most posts I make are 'lol,' 'rofl,' and the like when someone makes a joke.


I pay much attention to how people write on forums, but my sentence structure has stayed on a basic level. I cannot incorporate new vocabulary/expressions into my sentences except simple words. This explains awkwardness, redundancy, and incoherency of my posts. It just seems the chance to use what I learned doesn't come, although that's most likely not true.


It's worse outside the internet. I would say about 90% of what I've spoken for the last few years was greeting sentences to a grocery/store employee. On a rare occasion when I hang out with the few friends I have, I've got nothing to talk about, not even something boring.(But I know many of you can relate to this issue)


I also have a TERRIBLE accent, which the anxiety aggravates. I often have to repeat sentences a few times before people understand what I said.


The situation becomes opposite when it comes to listening. Even if the person speaking is perfectly fluent and has a nice accent, I frequently ask him/her to repeat. Sometimes I never get it and pretend I understood, which led to an embarrassing situation quite a few times.


What's worse, in actual conversations I don't have time to organize the sentences and can't take back what I said(i.e., edit). No wonder my spoken English is worse than written. I would say the only part of English I'm ok at is the grammar/spelling.


I can think of quite a few reasons for this. First, English is not my mother tongue. Although I was born in U.S., my family moved to South Korea soon after. When I was in middle school and still developing Korean, I came back here to Georgia, U.S.(which explains why I'm as terrible at Korean as at English) Although I did not have social anxiety at that time, I still have always been shy. I failed to make friends close enough to talk a lot and hang out and eventually developed SA. The anxiety obviously isolated me further from the society. I tried to compensate the lack of conversation by reading books, but I failed to make it a hobby due to loss of concentration and interest caused by SA and depression.


Nowadays I think my brain might be deteriorating, and it probably is. My thoughts are vague and incoherent. For example, when my therapist asked what I think caused SA, I answered the cultural shock. Then she asked me to give a few examples of cultural difference that I felt uncomfortable with. My mind went blank then. I knew for sure I had hard time adapting to the new culture yet couldn't think of specific examples. I don't know, maybe it was just the anxiety that blocked my thoughts but I believe I could've answered the question if my brain and English wasn't messed up.


I wish this was considered some sort of speech disorder so I easily could get professional help. But please tell me if there's a speech-related service that could help me. I'd appreciate any advice as well, but not common ones(esp. reading and talking to people, as I explained why they don't work for me)
 

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The situation becomes opposite when it comes to listening. Even if the person speaking is perfectly fluent and has a nice accent, I frequently ask him/her to repeat. Sometimes I never get it and pretend I understood, which led to an embarrassing situation quite a few times.
I'm fluent in English but I have that problem too. I don't have hearing problems either. I don't know why it's so hard for me to make out what someone is saying sometimes. o-0

Your sentence structure is actually very good. I've seen people who are fluent in English have horrendous grammar/spelling when they type. lol

As for speech-related help...I'm not really too sure. I wish I could help. :( But my mind is drawing a blank.
 

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Do you have difficulty with comprehension/expression of language only when you are anxious, or is it all the time? If it's an all-the-time thing you might want to consider getting assessed by a speech pathologist. A speech pathologist would be able to assess your language so they can work out what sorts of problems you are having and why. Then they can provide strategies to help improve your language skills. If English is your second language then things might be a little more difficult for you, but if you are having the same problems in both languages it suggests that there may be something else going on. Or.... do you only have language problems when you are anxious? This would suggest it is probably an SA thing over a language disorder. Consider whether or not you have trouble communicating when you are not anxious (e.g. understanding TV shows/radio, reading a book, speaking to a family member etc). Also, speech pathologists can assist with accent modification. By the way... I don't think brains 'deteriorate' (unless you stop using it or have dementia of course, which I assume don't apply to you! :)) So don't stress!
 

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I also have a TERRIBLE accent, which the anxiety aggravates. I often have to repeat sentences a few times before people understand what I said.

The situation becomes opposite when it comes to listening. Even if the person speaking is perfectly fluent and has a nice accent, I frequently ask him/her to repeat. Sometimes I never get it and pretend I understood, which led to an embarrassing situation quite a few times.
This is the part that made me think maybe you could have a learning disorder. This isn't bad by any means--I've often wondered if I have an undiagnosed learning disorder. You might want to get tested for something like auditory processing disorder (info here and here) or nonverbal learning disorder (here). Of course, I have no idea, but... well, can't hurt to look into it at least.

Good luck!
 

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i have the exact same problems, so i know how you feel.

it's always still hard for me to pintpoint the problems honestly. i've worked on my SA but my specific problems with language, in being able to make coherant and flowing conversation, is still ****ing ****.

i am doing a group specficially for SA, which helps in exposure, but for me i need to learn the skills first hand as well since it is more than just anxiety (i have the problems in all situations). i've been looking for a social skills group, as that could be something that may help. maybe you should look into doing the same
 

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I'm like this too. I'm feel like I ramble when I talk (online or in person). I think its because I have so many thoughts going through my mind at once that when I start to talk they all try to rush out and then people don't understand what i'm trying to say. I also sometimes can't comprehend what a person has just said to me, even when I hear it quite clearly, and have to ask them to repeat it. Its probably due to focusing more on the racing thoughts in my mind rather than paying attention to the other person, that I can't take in what is being said to me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Do you have difficulty with comprehension/expression of language only when you are anxious, or is it all the time? If it's an all-the-time thing you might want to consider getting assessed by a speech pathologist. A speech pathologist would be able to assess your language so they can work out what sorts of problems you are having and why. Then they can provide strategies to help improve your language skills. If English is your second language then things might be a little more difficult for you, but if you are having the same problems in both languages it suggests that there may be something else going on. Or.... do you only have language problems when you are anxious? This would suggest it is probably an SA thing over a language disorder. Consider whether or not you have trouble communicating when you are not anxious (e.g. understanding TV shows/radio, reading a book, speaking to a family member etc). Also, speech pathologists can assist with accent modification.
It is all the time, but the anxiety, needless to say, makes it worse. And yes, I have the problems in both languages.

By the way... I don't think brains 'deteriorate' (unless you stop using it or have dementia of course, which I assume don't apply to you! :)) So don't stress!
It was an inappropriate choice of words...I'm simply getting more and more stupid.

Vieras said:
This is the part that made me think maybe you could have a learning disorder. This isn't bad by any means--I've often wondered if I have an undiagnosed learning disorder. You might want to get tested for something like auditory processing disorder (info here and here) or nonverbal learning disorder (here). Of course, I have no idea, but... well, can't hurt to look into it at least.
That does sound like me...I'll need to ask a professional. Thank you.
 

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It's constantly giving me stress both online and in real life. On forums I see people discussing, trolling, and having fun, but I can't participate, sometimes because I simply have nothing to say and other times I can't express my thoughts in the form of sentence. Most posts I make are 'lol,' 'rofl,' and the like when someone makes a joke.
Your post sounds fine! Your linguistic skills appear normal to me. Maybe it is all in your head?
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
It sounds fine only when I explain my problems or have a lot to say about something..:(
 

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I have the same problem and I'll tell you one thing - you write a hell of a lot better than I do! In fact, you write quite well! :)
 

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I have similar problems expressing myself.
I think the only time I can communicate eloquently is when I am writing an essay for uni, and of course that gives me hours and hours to think of the perfect word combinations.
I'm so envious of people who are sharp witted and funny in conversation, and can think of interesting ideas and stories to talk about. When I talk to people I can never think of anything to say in those few vital microseconds before the infamous awkward silence...
 

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That is one of the questions I had planned on asking today.Words don't come to me that best fit what I'm trying to say.I really sound like an idiot sometimes.I have the feeling of what I want to say but not in words.I know how frustrating it is.I feel like I lost those connections in my brain.It takes me like an hour or more to write a letter to my family or something.I'm sorry I don't have anything to say to help,but I just wanted to let you know I'm right there too.You explained it better that I would have.
 
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