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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello everyone,

I'm a 17-year-old female who has a mild case of social anxiety. By mild, I mean that it's not strong enough to be treated with medication... but it still gets in the way of things that I could be doing and WANT to be doing one day (going on dates, making more friends, going to parties, etc). I have a few friends that I can trust and a fair amount of acquaintances, but want to branch out more.

I will be attending university in the fall of 2010 and hope to find some kind of closure before I pack my bags and insert myself into a new environment. I entered high school thinking that I would recreate a new me - one that was outgoing and unafraid to pursue what I wanted. But four years have slipped by quickly and I feel that, although I am not as anxious as I was when I was younger, I still have a lot of growing to do and I am not where I should be. Often I spend hours upon hours of time dwelling on things that I have said conversationally in fear of being judged... and avoid many social situations. I'm sick and tired of wasting time and emotion worrying about things I cannot change. Despite my fears, I try to push myself as best I can and stay active in high school extracurricular activities.

Hopefully at SAS I will be able to find like-minded people who share the same positive interests and insecurities. I don't want to miss out on anything else.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks, lastofthekews.
 

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Hey sunday morning, welcome to :sas
 

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Hey sunday morning! :) I'm new as well.

I know exactly how you feel. It's not so long ago that I was in the same situation. Hope you find what you're looking for here.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks everyone.

@raccoon - Really? How did you overcome your insecurities?
 

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Thanks everyone.

@raccoon - Really? How did you overcome your insecurities?
I don't know about overcoming my insecurities. I'm still working on it as I suppose everybody is really.

A year and a half ago I was fresh out of highschool and like you, wanted more out of my life. In hindsight my knee-jerk reaction was a bit harsh and drastic.
Given time to think about it, I'd say it definitely helps to start with forgiveness. I held onto so much resentment, I couldn't emotionally move on until I let it all go. I relaxed and thought of everybody who'd ever wronged me and one by one forgave them.

Most importantly though, I thought of all the painfully stupid things I'd done and all the things I regretted saying; and I forgave myself. It's not perfect, I'm still pretty awkward around people and can barely talk to girls, but I've been getting better since I stopped relentlessly beating myself up.

I don't know if that'll apply to you, but it's something I had to do.
Spirituality is a particular term which actually means dealing with intuition. In the theistic tradition there is a notion of clinging into a word. A certain act is regarded as displeasing to a divine principles. A certain act is regarded as pleasing for the divine … whatever. In the tradition of non-theoism, however, it is very direct - that the case history are not particularly important. What is actually important is here and now. Now is definitely now. We try to experience what is available there, on the spot. There is no point in thinking that a past did exist that we could have now. This is now. This very moment. Nothing mystical, just now, very simple, straight forward. And from that nowness, however, arises a sense of intelligence always that you are constantly interacting with reality one by one. Spot by spot. Constantly. We actually experience fantastic precision, always. But we are threatened by the now so we jump to the past or the future. Paying attention to the materials that exist in our life - such rich life that we lead - all these choices takes place all the time, but none of them regarded as bad or good per say - everything we experience are unconditional experience. They don't come along with a label saying 'this is regarded as bad', 'this is good'. But we experience them but we don't actually pay heed to them properly. We don't actually regard that we are going somewhere. We regard that as a hassle. Waiting to be dead. That is a problem. That is not trusting the nowness properly that what is the actual experience now possesses a lot of powerful things. It is so powerful that we can't face it. Therefore, we have to borrow from the past and invite the future all the time.Maybe that's why we seek religion. Maybe that's why we march in the street. Maybe that's why we complain to society. Maybe that's why we vote for the presidents.It is quite ironic. Very funny indeed.

- Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche
It's long but it's one of my favourite quotes. I find it comforting, helps to lighten the load.

Listening to him say it has a bit more impact.
 

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Hello everyone,

I'm a 17-year-old female who has a mild case of social anxiety. By mild, I mean that it's not strong enough to be treated with medication... but it still gets in the way of things that I could be doing and WANT to be doing one day (going on dates, making more friends, going to parties, etc). I have a few friends that I can trust and a fair amount of acquaintances, but want to branch out more.

I will be attending university in the fall of 2010 and hope to find some kind of closure before I pack my bags and insert myself into a new environment. I entered high school thinking that I would recreate a new me - one that was outgoing and unafraid to pursue what I wanted. But four years have slipped by quickly and I feel that, although I am not as anxious as I was when I was younger, I still have a lot of growing to do and I am not where I should be. Often I spend hours upon hours of time dwelling on things that I have said conversationally in fear of being judged... and avoid many social situations. I'm sick and tired of wasting time and emotion worrying about things I cannot change. Despite my fears, I try to push myself as best I can and stay active in high school extracurricular activities.

Hopefully at SAS I will be able to find like-minded people who share the same positive interests and insecurities. I don't want to miss out on anything else.
I think only a mental health professional can tell you whether you have a mild case of SA. And even then there may be a difference of opinion.

Many teenagers, even those without SA, can relate to your post. Adolescence and the transition from childhood to adulthood is not a fun time. Sexual issues are not fun. Peer pressure is not fun. And the quest to gain peer acceptance is not fun.

Life is a series of transitions. For some people the transitions seem effortless and rather easy. And for others, myself included, the transitions are anything but easy., I've struggled with transitions.

It's nice to have closure, but I don't know if that's particularly realistic for some people. It's hard to fathom and grasp that notion, when closure seems like an alien concept to me.

You're very verbal, bright, and intelligent. I wish I would have had your smarts when I was your age. I was so dumb.
 

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[QUOTE

I'd say it definitely helps to start with forgiveness. I held onto so much resentment, I couldn't emotionally move on until I let it all go. I relaxed and thought of everybody who'd ever wronged me and one by one forgave them.

Most importantly though, I thought of all the painfully stupid things I'd done and all the things I regretted saying; and I forgave myself. It's not perfect, I'm still pretty awkward around people and can barely talk to girls, but I've been getting better since I stopped relentlessly beating myself up.

Listening to him say it has a bit more impact.
[/QUOTE]

Good post!

I do think you have to forgive. I was bullied a lot as a child. and it was not a fun experience.

I've forgiven my tormentors but it took a long time. That's not saying I've FORGOTTEN the bullying but I have forgiven them.

Beating yourself up is not good. The bullies may be long gone, but the worst thing you can do is to keep bullying yourself.
 

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:wel
 

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Welcome, SundayMorning! :)
 
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