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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So tonight I have that gold old holiday event after work with all the people here. There are more people coming from another building as well. Needless to say, I'm wondering how this is going to turn out. Hopefully, I can enjoy myself while I'm there.


Any of you have one coming up or have already had one?
 

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Mine was better than I thought it would be.

There's another one going on right now that's work-sanctioned, but I am skipping it. I don't feel like walking over to the other building. If it was in our building I could probably muster up the energy, but it's not. Plus it's raining and I'm not hungry. Plus I'd rather pretend-work and be on SAS.
 

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I went to one a few weeks ago, I forced myself to go because it would be "good for me" within 5 minutes of being there i was continually reminded why i hate going out. Though that doesn't mean you won't have a great time.
 

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Mine is tomorrow night, needless to say (as I posted in another thread) I've already been planning the night out in my head to avoid any awkward situations before they even arise, sounds crazy even when I write it, I seriously wish I could just go along with no inhibitions or cares about what people think of me. I'm sure most people aren't anywhere near as judgemental as we SA sufferers believe they are. We just need to relax, believe that we are interesting and friendly, then we will be able to handle these situations better. It's the small talk that frustrates me, I struggle with it every time. I believe there's a girl going who likes me (we have been flirting quite a lot), so maybe I can get to know her better.. I also find I act too serious at these events, I just cannot let myself go with the flow, which makes me really annoyed.
 

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Meek
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I've had...4 so far :fall...one to go :boogie. Would be 2 but my husband's refusing to go to one of them.

1) Fine - lots of nice middle aged ladies for a couple of hrs in the afternoon, swanky residence, didn't win anything in raffle and have to go up, thank God. 2) Actually kind of fun/interesting. Cocktails and learnt a lot about other countries through talking to people...ended up too interested to be nervous. I prepared by having something to do on later in week that I could talk about. 3) :afr - this one was the hardest (huge ball in hotel) I was panicking like hell at the beginning and I'm sure it showed - i'd had a tiring day and took way too long to get ready, didn't eat enough and ended up exhausted/unnerved by the time I got there. Couldn't think of what to say to people at all. It ended well though,I was ok once I was seated on a table and could settle in.
4) again easyish, but I kept almost talking over people and had to keep myself in check. Just women in the afternoon again - did a secret santa and my contribution wasn't as poor as I thought :)

5 will be at swanky residence again tomorrow. my husband and I will prob just whizz in, watch a review thing that's been planned, talk to a couple of people and run away before the dancing starts :lol

Sooo...my advice would be: have something planned that you can talk about. invaluable and it was a lifesaver for me, just for not feeling awkward if nothing else. Try and pre-socialize if poss, one of the events I got a lift in with a friend and was so chatty by the time I got there it wasn't too bad. Don't wear anything uncomfortable. work out where and how you'll be most at ease, i.e. for me it was sat calmly at a table and not floating awkwardly around the bar. don't fuss too much over the details when getting ready, keep everything in perspective and set yourself a time that you have to be ready by. know your limits and within reason stick to them - baby steps, if you can successfully chat to people of a couple of hrs but don't want to be there all night drinking and dancing, then that's fine.
 

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subtastic
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I had to attend the holiday potluck yesterday at work, and it was really awkward. I went to eat with a colleague, and she and her friends basically ignored me. I was pretty sad after.

Tomorrow I'm attending a celebratory lunch with my boss and a handful of other people, and the day after that, I have to attend another work holiday party.

I'm no expert at these sorts of things, but I have a few tips:
- don't talk about work unless other people bring it up
- ask people questions about themselves, like "What are you doing for the holidays?" etc.
- don't drink too much

Good luck with your xmas parties, everyone.
 

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I had one the other week. I really didn't want to go but I forced myself. Also, I couldn't think up a believable excuse to get out of it. One year I told them I had a dinner to go to but I can't keep using that excuse every dang year. This was actually a party for my part time job where I only work one day a week so already I really don't know the people who work there. Plus, my job requires me to work alone in an office while everyone else is out on the floor and only come to the office if the need something. Ugh, it was very awkward (as it was the 2 previous years). Mostly everyone already knew each other so they all spoke amongst themselves and whenever I did try and chime into some of the conversations...they pretty much flatlined after a few moments. There were def. a lot of awkward pauses. Ugh, I HATED it! I treasured every moment that I had to get up to go to the bathroom because it at least gave me some moments to myself.
 

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I'd like to say that I want to be invited to a holiday party, but then I think about what will I do there besides just sit around? Sure, I should try to force myself into conversations, but I know I won't have much to add to anything.
 

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Freedom is lurking
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I have one coming up, but unless I'm personally invited, I don't plan on going. If I do get invited, then, maybe I'll find the courage... Last time I was at a party I was, hmmm, 12, 13 years old?
 

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I find I can only really talk about work, as it deflects conversation away from talking about me. I had a crap night's sleep as I have been thinking about the event tonight and also worrying about all the work I need to do. I have to remind myself, what's the worst that could happen? As long as I don't drink too much I won't do anything silly, and in turn then I won't feel paranoid or self conscious in the office tomorrow after the party. I just have to be strict with myself but try and relax, ask others questions about themselves and try to have some preprepared dialogue.

BlazingLazer - how was your night, did it go ok?
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I find I can only really talk about work, as it deflects conversation away from talking about me. I had a crap night's sleep as I have been thinking about the event tonight and also worrying about all the work I need to do. I have to remind myself, what's the worst that could happen? As long as I don't drink too much I won't do anything silly, and in turn then I won't feel paranoid or self conscious in the office tomorrow after the party. I just have to be strict with myself but try and relax, ask others questions about themselves and try to have some preprepared dialogue.

BlazingLazer - how was your night, did it go ok?
Pretty well, I'd say for the most part. I actually stopped by another place to get one drink and then headed to the event. There were a few instances where I was wandering through, looking around and taking in the vibe. Even stepped outside for a break as well.

Talked to a few people here and there, but not too much conversational stuff. I wound up dancing with a few people as well and I kinda got sucked in with this one girl (who brought her two buddies) and they got kinda crazy with me. They got pretty drunk though, so maybe it felt overboard at times.

I felt I might've stayed longer than I should but I had some fun. And some of the co-workers who know who I am were a little surprised at how much they liked my moves, so to speak, lol! I think I may be a bit self-conscious when I come in tomorrow so I'm wondering about that now, but I don't think it'll be that bad.

Good luck, let us know how it goes. Hope you have fun tonight!
 

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Pretty well, I'd say for the most part. I actually stopped by another place to get one drink and then headed to the event. There were a few instances where I was wandering through, looking around and taking in the vibe. Even stepped outside for a break as well.

Talked to a few people here and there, but not too much conversational stuff. I wound up dancing with a few people as well and I kinda got sucked in with this one girl (who brought her two buddies) and they got kinda crazy with me. They got pretty drunk though, so maybe it felt overboard at times.

I felt I might've stayed longer than I should but I had some fun. And some of the co-workers who know who I am were a little surprised at how much they liked my moves, so to speak, lol! I think I may be a bit self-conscious when I come in tomorrow so I'm wondering about that now, but I don't think it'll be that bad.

Good luck, let us know how it goes. Hope you have fun tonight!
Oh my god. Dancing with co-workers at holiday party = cured from SA (if you ever had it at all!). Just what exactly are you doing on this site? Is BlazingLazer even your real name? ;)
 

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So anyway, a few hours in, I'm still alive, a few awkward silences talking (or not) to colleagues I don't know too well. Dinner finishing soon then it'll be drinking and dancing, the latter being something I despise, the former I revert to for necessity. Posting here is my solace from small talk.
 

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Well I made it, On a bus home now, kissed the girl I have been flirting with, a good night despite my feelings of insecurity.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Haha, thanks man. I can see how it seems that way sometimes. perhaps we're more 'normal' to other people than we think we are.
 

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I think you've hit the nail on the head. I suspect many of us come across to other people we meet as being entirely normal. We should really try and stop giving ourselves such a hard time!

Today was interesting in the office, I tend to get very paranoid when I'm hungover but today wasn't that bad. Spoke to the girl again, wasn't awkward with her, although maybe a little. I hope it's just a nice flirty relationship we can have as I'm definitely not ready to meet someone properly; I have to understand myself first before that!

I mist admit this forum has been a revelation for me. I really had no idea that others suffered similar feelings to me, it's incredible and to an extent is helping me deal with my suffering better. I'm going to try some CBT as I'd really like to try and get over some of my inhibitions. Sharing our experiences can only help though :)
 

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^ Well done, boys :D! sounds like exceeded expectations for both of you...my last party was okay. We did as planned and left really early...but I had a couple of nice chats with people. Was really obviously nervous, but it wasn't too awkward as by this stage I am the small talk queen :lol thank God for Christmas...endless possible questions about plans, family, trees, food, decorating...also I met someone that was in a favorite film of mine which was cool :D
 
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