[zombiekins]

In replying to a few messages tonight, I realize that a big part of my SA is the result of not letting go of offenses from 5, 10, even 20 years ago. People offended me as early as kindergarten and I have taken it all to heart and held it there until the present. I wonder if I were able to brush off April Z. in kindergarten when she called me a baby, would I not have SA today? If I didn't believe her then, would I not have believed others later and, in turn, not feel like such a loser in the present?

Does anybody else hang on to things like this for so long? How do you let go?

 

[Graye]

Yep...

I'm a bit passive-aggressive, and don't tell anyone my grievances, so I hold grudges until I explode. However, I've only blown up at one person outside of family thus far.

 

[Mooncalf]

Yeah, I do. I don't know how you let go. My brain keeps dredging up these painful memories. I swear, it wants to destroy me. :blank

 

[zombiekins]

Yep...

I'm a bit passive-aggressive, and don't tell anyone my grievances, so I hold grudges until I explode. However, I've only blown up at one person outside of family thus far.

Oh man, me too. Nobody knows how much I hate them for stuff they did like 15 years ago. haha

 

[LoneLioness]

I definatly hold grudges, some really big ones too. I find that revenge helps, most people say it doesn't but it really really does. Once I get revenge on someone it amuses me and helps some of my anger go away because I feel I helped make them miserable and they deserve it. I actually distroyed 2 friendships in the name of revenge and boy did it feel good, I still smile when I think about it. But as for kids who made fun of me in school and stuff like that, well I can't really get revenge on any of them nor would I feel like bothering...though it felt good to ignore the one who tried to friend me on myspace a year or 2 ago. Anyway, I wish when I was in school I had stood up for myself more and done some crappy things back to these kids who made my school years, especially 6th grade so difficult. I guess I do still hold grudges on them too but its been so long that I don't care as much anymore...now as for people that hurt me in the past 10 years well...like I said the revenge helped alot there, I still hate them though, I just don't obsess over it as much, the one I was constantly pissed off about for over 3 years until I finally got my revenge.

 

[Ununderstood]

I always and probably will always hold grudges. I hold them so dear, and at the very moment I get a grudge on someone it bothers me because now my memory will be clogged with that grudge for the rest of my life. For example this girl at my work, she likes me and at first I enjoyed talking to her because somehow I got comfortable doing so and I could express myself. Well she started calling me on the phone and asking me to go eat dinner, thing is I never liked her more than a friend. She started telling people I was her boyfriend and it got me really pissed off. She even spread rumors that I was jealous of her being married and having children. This caught me so off guard I was a few steps from cussing her out but my best friend stopped me (he works at the same place i do). She is married and with two kids for f**** sake. She thinks she is so desirable and to be honest she is one ugly mother****ing female dog. To think that I would actually be jealous of her, HAH. Go eat s***! I currently hate her so much, she is so annoying and I literally feel like saying "get the f*** off my back and don't talk to me anymore ever". See, just a thing like that pisses me off so bad, in fact right now remembering this makes me pissed. There is basically very very few people that can piss me off and I won't hold a grudge. Well actually just two people, my mom and my best friend. For the rest of the people I happen to meet and to those who I will meet, if they piss me off once I will never forget it. It is just the way it is for me.

 

[zombiekins]

Ununderstood-

That's how I am to a tee. People don't upset me all the time, but once someone goes on my list, it's permanent. I can think of three exceptions, but those people were some of my very best friends for years before we fell out, and it took about 3 years each for them to regain my trust.

When I think of things that hurt me at any point in my life, it's like it just happened all over again. And what's awful about a lot of it is that I was so forgiving in the moment just to avoid conflict, but the more time passes, the more crazy I look if I go talk to the people about what went wrong. I mean, if I go up to someone and let them have it over something they did 5 or 10 years ago, then I wind up looking like a crazy person. And really, a lot of the people are so inconsiderate that they really don't care that they hurt me. A lot of them don't even know they did. So if I go tell them how I feel and they don't respond the way I want, it will hurt even worse. Like, I'd just be throwing myself up against a wall, and that only hurts me. They'd be able to shrug it off. It's just so frustrating to think that I feel this wounded and can't do anything about it.

 

[UltraShy]

For serious things I will hold grudges for 20+ years. I will not & cannot forgive somebody who played a significant role in destroying my life turning it into a living hell from which I find myself unable to escape and will be stuck in till death.

 

[AussiePea]

It was comments made to me many years ago which always spring to mind when I think about the roots of my anxiety, so even though I don't hold personal grudges towards to people who have made these comments to me in the past, the comments themselves certainly do sit in the back of my head.

 

[Hellosunshine]

I am the master at keeping grudges! Anyone who know me will tell you that. I remember everytimes anybody wronged me or hurt me somehow. I supress it a lot of times and then boom...... out of nowhere it will resurface at the strangest times. A lot of times I will use it against them.

I never forgive and forget which is terrible but I am trying to change that. I pretend to forgive to get the arguement over with but not really.....