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I'm a 20 year old female. I've only really struggled with social anxiety in the past five years or so. As a child and up till late age 16/early 17 I was outgoing and fearless. Around then I had some hormonal issues and was prescribed many different medications to keep me from hemorrhaging possibly to death, basically. With my hormone levels constantly going up and down and sideways and whatnot, I ended up gaining a LOT of weight. I had always been a little overweight but I felt healthy and confident about how I looked. Once I gained the weight, about 50 pounds, my self-esteem was destroyed and I had no idea how to get it back. By the time I realized how much I had gained and what an unhealthy sedentary lifestyle I had settled into, it was too late, I had serious issues with food that have haunted me ever since. And the weight? Makes me so unsure of myself all the time. I'm not depressed, really, I just get anxious when I have to talk in front of people, whether in class or in front of a big group of extended family, or even in a group of about 6 people who are my friends. And I know the anxiety is caused by my weight in my case. It's really damn annoying to have to adjust to this anxiety stuff. The other day we had to do a presentation in class and I was twitching and shaking like mad and I felt so self-conscious I wanted to die. I drove home crying and shaking still and then I couldn't get to sleep till dawn. Why should a 5 minute speech do that to me? I don't understand. They're just people and I know it's not like I'm inferior to them or anything - if anything, I know for a fact that I am a bit more intelligent than the average person . . . not being conceited, I know what skills I'm blessed with. A pretty smart brain is one of them, but social skills are not.

I've tried anti-anxiety meds and none of them worked on me(related: sleeping pills don't work on me either). Not a huge believer in medication anyway. I just need to solve this problem within the next few months because in the fall quarter I'm transferring from my 2 year community college to a really good, high ranked 4 year university. That university is 500 miles away from my home. Right now I live with my parents now and I've NEVER been independent. I know I can be successful on my own, I can take care of myself as far as budgeting, studying, cooking, probably even social life, but the problem is that if I don't get over my anxiety I think that, combined with the natural stress that a huge lifestyle change like this will bring, will mess me up really bad. I've had some mental breakdowns before that got me 51-50'd and landed me in the psych ward against my will. If something like that happened now . . . I just don't want to risk it. I can't take it again. But realistically, I know myself very well and I know that IF i don't beat this - or at least make considerable progress - by the time I move, there is a very real chance that I'll go off the deep end and really do something stupid. Idk. I'm trying really hard to lose the weight right now and I know that will help but also that things like staying organized, being punctual (if I am five minutes late to class I'll skip it rather than risk everyone staring at me when I walk in), having a regular sleep schedule, being social, etc, will all help me in my battle to banish the anxiety. But as I'm sure you all know, it's very easy to see what needs to be done but it's a different thing entirely to actually do it. :(

So any advice? Questions? Comments? All would be appreciated. It's nice to know that I'm not alone at least.
 

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Welcome, VitaminR! :)
 

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Hey vitaminr welcome. :hyper
 

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Hey! welcome :) I actually just sent you a message regarding this post so make sure to check that out... Hope this helps a bit :yes
 
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