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Comfortably Numb
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I have decided to join a forum like this to help me cure my social anxiety. Hopefully by sharing my experiences and my current progress I hope that it can help everyone else. I always new that I had a problem and like everyone else I thought that it was just shyness and it would simply past.

Back at primary school I was always know as the quiet one. I would hardly talk in classes and just kept to myself. However I always believed that it was because I was new to the country and I would be teased by my peers, because I had a strong african accent. I always believed that the reason i was so quiet was because I wanted to observe and learn.

I had friends, or people who wanted to be my friends and slowly I created a comfort zone, I could only be myself around my best friends and immediate family members everyone else where strangers and I could not relate to or even begin a sentence with. Even from a young age I had always found small things which I would think was wrong about me. For example I always thought that I had yellow teeth even though nobody teased me about it or even commented on it, it always haunted me and I felt that they were watching my mouth and laughing behind my back, so I always kept quiet.

Going into Secondary school, I became seperated from two of my best friends, who went to a different school, from then on I lost contact with them. However over the years new friendship were created and we formed a tight group and therefore creating another comfort zone making it impossible for me to leave. Once again all those outside of this comfort zone were alien to me and I could not be assertive with. My teachers believed that I had potential but my work was inconsistent and my progress in class depended on how I felt around that time beacuse everything was getting me down.

I listned to depressing music (Staind) and I became dependent on music to get me through the day. I have never had strong suicidal thoughts. I lost my religion, however I still attend church only to please my parents but when I am alone at univerity I do not attend.

I grew up in a disfunctional family of six. I was always put on constant pressure to succeed by my father ( who I blame for everything), who lived through us since he did not have any of the opportunities that we had. However as one of us failed the pressure mounted on the next and since I was the second to last child all the pressure was constantly one me. (My younger brother is autistic)- imagine how that made my situation worse.

Recently I found out about social anxiety and as I read up on it I realised that I could actually solve this problem of mine. So I hope that you all came help me make this dream a reality, becasue I need help.
 

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Hey CWRC welcome. :)
 

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Welcome, CWRC! :)
 

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Hey CWRC, I'm glad that you joined, hopefully you'll find that being able to discuss problems that you're facing with others can alleviate some of the pressure brought up by SA. It is funny how little things seem to haunt us, like when you mentioned the teeth, but I find that usually people are not that judgemental as they may seem to be, usually it's magnified by negative thoughts, far beyond what it truly is. Sorry to hear about the pressures placed on you by your family, but I hope you can get through all of it.

I wish you best of luck in coping and dealing with SA and hope you find just being able to discuss it with others alleviates some of the weight on your shoulder, best of luck =)
 
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