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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello there.

First of all: my English isn't that well so I'm sorry 'bout that :).
I would like to stay anonymous in the first place, so you guys could call me M.

I'm a 20 year old girl from the Netherlands. Last year I went to the psychiatrist who diagnosted me with SA. Every puzzle piece fell on it's place after years. Since then I know I'm not the only one and that my feelings (which I have since I was 13) aren't that weird after all. Actually, it was explainable.

My whole life my brother bullied me. He bullied me so bad, that I hated my self for who I am. I thought no one liked me, that I was a bad person etc etc. I think you guys know the feelings. I felt never relaxed. I didn't had many friends. Hated to meet new ppl. Didn't like (big) changes.
But most of all: I felt sooooooooooooo insecure. The only thing I liked were my looks.
I know he is the cause for all of my issues. That in combination with the non-skills of my parents. They didn't stimulate me at all. When I asked my mum to call the doctor or so she did that. When I couldn't find summin' in the store she had asked for me where to find it. And those are only a few examples.

Well, last year (august 2010) I moved to another city to study over there. I needed some rest cause of my brother. Thought I would make new friends. But no..... A whole year I didn't had any friends. Except the ones at my parents place, so I visited them every weekend (mostly with my boyfriend). I decided to go in therapy. That helped me so much. I changed a lot: my internship goes very well compared to my internship last year, I made some new friends (only two I can really say they are my friends, i love them!!!), i feel less tense, i joined a theatre club... and many more positive changes.

Unfortunately, my SA sometimes returns. The thoughts, which I call 'monsters', come back at those moments. For those moments I think it will feel good to read some of your experiences and get support. Ofcourse I will help you guys too, when I think I can.

Well: It's 2012 now. New year, new chances. I've accomplished a lot last year (dec 2010 - dec 2011, i've been over a year in therapy). But there still are some things I would like to do, and that is:
- Get a job. I know I can do it. But there is still anxiety due to lack of experience and got fired two times (i've got two jobs in the past).
- Get the guts to go on a sport such as Yoga. Cuz of the relaxation.

Thanks for reading!!!

M.
 

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Welcome, GiveMeABreak! :)
 

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Its dawn here
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english isnt my first language too..
heyo welcome!!
 

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Hi, i'm new too! welcome, thanks for sharing your stories. Hope you have an even better year ahead!
 

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Banned
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Hey Givemeabreak welcome. :hyper
 

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Omnipresent
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Hey, welkom!

Je Engels ziet er prima uit hoor, niks om je voor te schamen. Van wat ik zo lees sta je er nog redelijk goed voor, ik heb er dan ook alle vertrouwen in dat het allemaal wel goed komt. Succes met het vinden van een baan!
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Thanks for welcoming me here!!!
I think we can help eachother a lot over here. And I hope you guys will get a great year too with lots of positive changes and developments!!! :)
 
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