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Discussion Starter #1
I thought I would say hello to everyone who is new here. :D Social Anxiety is a very difficult thing to cope with, and a very difficult thing for most people to understand. Most people will assume we are just shy and will eventually get over it, but many times this is not the case. The anxiety we experience can make ordinary everyday things into enormous obstacles.

Furthermore, it is important to understand that not all cases of SA are exactly the same. There are varying degrees and differences in what situations cause us anxiety. Some of us may have no trouble getting a job, while others struggle. Similarly, some of us may lack in the relationship area, while others don't think it is a big deal.

I thought it would be interesting to see how others are affected by their SA. I went about listing some of the situations that cause me anxiety, and organized them into 3 categories,

1)Things that cause anxiety, but I don't avoid
2) Things that I tend to avoid, but can force myself to do
3) Things I avoid at all costs.

If you want to, think of the things that cause you anxiety. What category do they fall into on your list? I think it would be interesting to see how we differ or don't. :idea I hope it will help everyone be more understanding of each other, because I have noticed sometimes we try to impose our experiences and struggles on other people, and expect them to be the same way. Even among other SA'ers it can be difficult to feel understood :no

Anyway, Here is my list so far:

Things that cause anxiety, but I don't avoid:
-walking through security detectors in stores
-buses
-eating in front of people
-giving my signature in front of someone
-doing something in front of someone (such as unlocking doors)
-walking passed people
-walking into a room when others are already seated
-paying for things at cash register
-answering the door
-ordering food at a restaurant
-coughing/sneezing in front of people (but I do avoid if possible)

Things that I tend to avoid, but will force myself (with much difficulty) to do if necessary:
-phone calls
-one-on-one conversations/small talk
-cooking in front of people
-talking on the phone in front of someone
-trying something new when others are watching

Things I avoid at all costs (if I know I am going to be forced to do it I worry about it days, weeks, and even months in advance…if I have no warning, it triggers a panic attack):
-driving
-interviews/jobs
-public speaking (oral presentations, speaking in class, reading aloud etc.)
-Doctor's appointments
 

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Hi. Interesting post. Thanks for that (and these forums) because I thought I was "the only one"; Here's my list:

Things that cause anxiety, but I don't avoid:
-doing something in front of someone (such as unlocking doors)/completing tasks under observation
-providing an answer to someone that has asked me a question
-ordering food at a restaurant
-coaches

Things that I tend to avoid, but will force myself (with much difficulty) to do if necessary:[/b]
-phone to some people (that I have known for years)
-using lifts or elevators-
-buses and underground
-paying for things at cash register
-cooking in front of people
-answering the door (getting better though)
-being in groups
-trying something new when others are watching
-driving
-arguing by speaking


Things I avoid at all costs (if I know I am going to be forced to do it I worry about it days, weeks, and even months in advance…if I have no warning, it triggers a panic attack):

-phone (bill last month was £0.38)
-interviews/jobs
-public speaking (oral presentations, speaking in class, reading aloud etc.)
-going to peoples house (such as invites or family, dinner parties etc.)
-birthday parties/invitations
 

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Welcome, KKluv20! :)
 

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:wel
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Hi everyone, and thank you so much for your responses! (although, I am not exactly NEW here. I joined almost a year ago. I did this post for the new people, but anyone is welcome of course!) And feel free to change the list however you want and include whatever you want. The point is to think of the things that make YOU anxious. Thanks again, and I look forward to more posts :)
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Hi. Interesting post. Thanks for that (and these forums) because I thought I was "the only one"; Here's my list:

Things that cause anxiety, but I don't avoid:
-doing something in front of someone (such as unlocking doors)/completing tasks under observation
-providing an answer to someone that has asked me a question
-ordering food at a restaurant
-coaches

Things that I tend to avoid, but will force myself (with much difficulty) to do if necessary:[/b]
-phone to some people (that I have known for years)
-using lifts or elevators-
-buses and underground
-paying for things at cash register
-cooking in front of people
-answering the door (getting better though)
-being in groups
-trying something new when others are watching
-driving
-arguing by speaking


Things I avoid at all costs (if I know I am going to be forced to do it I worry about it days, weeks, and even months in advance…if I have no warning, it triggers a panic attack):

-phone (bill last month was £0.38)
-interviews/jobs
-public speaking (oral presentations, speaking in class, reading aloud etc.)
-going to peoples house (such as invites or family, dinner parties etc.)
-birthday parties/invitations


Answering questions and making decisions on the spot definitely gives me anxiety and I can't think straight. :afr I definitely didn't think of everything! Parties make me nervous and I tend to avoid them, but sometimes I am okay with it, as long as I already know some people that are going to be there.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I havent really thought about it enough to be able to make lists. Since I like your post I'm going to come up with what I can right now. I'm pretty drunk right now so bare with me, if I wasn't I probly wouldnt be posting a reply. I would catagorize my lists in, Things I totaly hate, Things I don't like but can get through and Things that are no big deal but still bother me.

Things I totaly hate
-going to the DMV/dentist/doctor/cable company
-talking to anyone where other people can hear me, I know you put talking on the phone in front of people,.. but for me,... it's talking to anyone where other people can hear me.
-going to any kind of store when theres alot of people there,.. I wont go shoping in the summer, on the weekend, when its mid-day,.. cause thats when there is the most people there and the longest lines and I totaly hate it.
-standing in lines
-talking to people when there is no purpose (chit-chat), doesnt matter the situation
-calling my family on the phone
-having to tell someone bad news

Things that I dont like but I can get through
-being at work
-going to meetings at work
-going to the job sites for work
-talking to the other employees at work
-having to call people while I'm at work
-having to send e-mails to people concerning work
-talking to our clients concerning work
(going to work is really the only thing I do)

Things that are no big deal but still bother me
-going to the gas station, to buy beer and/or gas
-going to the grocery store
-going to the video game store

Anyhow,... thats all I can think of for now.
Lol I like the categories. I don't really get too nervous when shopping, unless it is in a small store and the sales person keeps asking you if you need help and staring at you. :no
 

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yes, we are all different. Most of the things I agree with you on, but I driving is a minor anxiety and I don't mind going to the doctor. Interesting to break it down this way.
 

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I'll have a go at this...

Things that cause anxiety, but I don't avoid
- Using public transport, especially during busier times of the day
- Talking to people :(
- Going to breakfast in hotels (don't like staff hovering around while I'm eating)
- Walking through crowds (I prefer to avoid them or at least walk around the edges)
- Going to a restaurant or a bar with a group of people
- Voice chatting to people during online games

Things that I tend to avoid, but will force myself (with much difficulty) to do if necessary
- Answering or making a phone call with other people in the room, or on a train or anything like that.
- Any sort of public speaking
- Trips to visit places I haven't been before or trips to visit people I haven't seen before/for a long time
- Working on something with one or more people looking over my shoulder
- Introducing myself to people I don't know
- Asserting myself (in any way)

Things I avoid at all costs:
- Talking about how I feel
- Close relationships of any kind
 

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This could be a good way to start trying to get a grip on some of these things, thanks for bringing this up and welcome to SAS!

My list

1)Things that cause anxiety, but I don't avoid
Visiting with family
Going into a gas station (most days)
Driving past windows at drive ups for fast food
Going out and working in the yard while neighbors are out

2) Things that I tend to avoid, but can force myself to do

Going to wal-mart or grocery store for food and shopping (sometimes I'll drive several miles to go to a new store)
Interviews for jobs, or with the boss at a job
Going into neighborhood stores (local to where I live)
Going into book stores

3) Things I avoid at all costs.
Talking to women whom I would like a chance to date
Talking to women who don't talk to me first
Public speaking of any kind
Activities that include confrontation or conversations
Talking to women
 

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:)

:| I think its just mainly talking to people..and trying to belong..I guess i get a little tense..
 

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Hi welcome kkluv20,

Well that's a big question as you will agree. In essence, intense fear and shame when anticipating other people's judgement of me.

Why have I got this and others' don't? I'm still working on the answer to that one.
 
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