Hi- I had a second date tonight and came away angry at myself for having to try so hard to lead the conversation. It's nothing new and I can stumble through it, but it is really difficult for me and I feel as if I am faking my way through it. I know what many of you mean by going blank and shutting down. I have spent much of my social existence dealing with that and feeling stupid because of it. I also have severe ADHD and forgetfulness. Relationships seem impossible. I have some great friends, but I find myself reacting and never leading conversation. Whats worse is that I home in to my deficiencies while trying to make conversation and distract myself. It feels as if I am in here somewhere but unable to tap in to who I am and how I feel. Occasionally I do tap in and it's the best feeling in the world.