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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey everyone! I am happy to find this forum, for once I can rant and rave about being socially anxious without feeling like I'm burderning people with issues they cannot help me with.

I am at a very difficult point in my life, I am at University (again) but I dropped out of another one 2 years ago. Why? Because my social anxiety or whatever you wanna call it was at it's early stages, it began to effect my day to day uni attendance. The idea of co existing with my fellow students with the feeling of nausea and discomfort really took a toll on me.

As of now, I am trying helplessly to stay in Uni. But my social anxiety prevents me from being able to relax in public, whether that be on the train or in a seminar/lecture. I'd have to drink to go into uni, just so that I can feel confident. I was 15mins late and didn't dare go into the lecture room, I couldn't take eyes on me ... so I spent the rest of my time locked in a toilet cubicle drinking alcohol until my next lecture where I'd then be perked up and buzzing, ready to go :(

My life is an utter shambles. I need help!

Sometimes I'm not even nervous, and my body automatically tenses and becomes stiff - especially my neck and back. But the anxiety doesn't stop with verbal expressions. I cannot seem to articulate myself online either, I find myself rearranging words and sentences until I feel that I am making sense to a certain extent. This is affecting my life in a very bad way. I can't even pick up the phone. I'm desperate, I even drink to buy a pint milk in the local supermarkets or to meet up with close friends. :(

So ya. Hello, I'm allatsea, nice to meet you all!
 

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Welcome, AllAtSea! :)
 

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Hi allatsea, welcome to SAS! I hope you will be able to share your thoughts, fears, and experiences with your fellow SA'ers. I read your post and think you're very articulate. My name is Richard by the way. :D
 

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Welcome! Happy to have you on board!

I can relate as I'm sure others can. I couldn't even go to the supermarket, church, or store without my husband. Slowly but surely I started to push myself with baby steps eg my husband would drop me to the supermarket but would stay in the car whilst I sped in and bought a couple of items. I hated it and hated him for making me do it. But a year later I can actually go in by myself and not need him to drive me. Do I still get nervous and zoom through, most definitely, but I look at it as a victory because this is something I couldn't even bring myself to do a year ago.

It all starts with baby steps, lots of self praise and constant reminder to yourself that you're working towards the end goal of being rid of this Social Anxiety.

Oh and I also finally took the plunge and got my driver's license 2 years ago at the age of 33.

Every successful attempt is drop in the bucket and it may or may not seem like a big deal at the time, but it all makes a HUGE difference. And for the inevitable times that you backslide - well try not to beat yourself up about it, you're only human. Look at those times as learning experiences and continue to step out of your comfort zone the next time.

Trini
 

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Hey allatsea welcome. :)
 

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Sorry to hear that you are in such a bad way. Have you seen a doctor? Medication and talking to a therapist would help you take some positive steps to dealing with your fears.
 

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Hey allatsea, what are you studying at uni? I just went back recently to study computer science and really like it but my OCD and SA make things very difficult.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
It's 2013, and I am still suffering. I don't have a job, I can't get on benefits because I am married, and I was unable to complete my University degree.

Things are getting worse, my memory is bad. I find that I can't even rehearse for a job interview in the shower on my own - can you imagine that? Not being able to string a sentence with nobody around but you? What hope is there for me. I don't know how, but the anxiety has taken it's toll in every aspect of my being, from my communication skills just with my husband, to reading a book, to constructing a sentence...
I feel weak, exhausted and tense all the time. I don't know what to do anymore.
I cannot leave my house, so I am indoors alone 5 times a week while my husband goes to work. I rarely see my friends. I have one friend who checks up on me every so often.
I need somebody to talk to, anybody going through the same or thinks they can help please get in touch x
 
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