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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok, so I'll try to keep this as organized as possible (It's probably gonna be pretty long) but I'm talking about myself here so I don't know how great I'll be able to do that. I think I've had social anxiety disorder for a while now, although I think it was more of just introversion before highschool. I feel like the majority of my life I've been a loner, I've never really had a large group of friends or fit in with any crowds. Back before I went to college, I was pretty ignorant to these problem. Yes, I was aware that I only had a handful of good friends and was never invited to parties but between school, family and friends I had an adequete social life.

Last year I was slightly nervous about going to college, mostly because my room assignment was a triple. I feared that my two roomates would connect with eachother and pretty much ignore me. And well, that's pretty much the way it turned out- they've literally spoken less than 10 sentences to me this entire semester. I realize that this status quo is probably largely attributable myself, when I first came to college I was preoccupied with a mmorpg (which had taken up an apreciable portion of my life for the past 4 years) and may have shunned off their early attempts at connecting with me. So throughout the year there has basically been an awkward silence present in our room whenever I'm there. They have developed a decent amount of animosity towards me, and talk about me behind my back (I've heard them talk about me while I was in the bathroom, or they thought I was sleeping etc., plus they talk crap about everyone else they have don't like so I can kinda assume anyway). In addition to this, they are friends with the suite across the hall from mine and have sort of spread a wonderful reputation of a socially awkward loser for me to have to deal with.

The worst about our relationship is that it is not, outright. That is to say, they don't complain directly to me, rather they create rules and leave me notes if they have an issue with me. This sort of passive-agressive behavoir of theres makes me speculate about how they actually feel about me and normally drives me to a state of mild depression (I think i'm a little bipolar, I don't display it though because I have so little social interaction) for a few days. Oh yah I also had basically every class in the first semester with them so that was pretty damn awkward.

I don't know whether the situation with my roomates excerbated my condition but I have not made a single friend since coming to college. I'm 'friendly' with several people, It's just I've never pushed our relationships to the point where we hang out except for when we run into eachother somewhere. Except for that, I eat alone, walk alone, go to classes alone (oh I actually don't think I've ever initiated contact with a girl btw) etc.. I'm afraid to approach people and whenever someone ever approaches me in a friendly matter I always feel like I'm gonna screw up and butcher any chance of connecting with them that I have (and I normally do). I feel like I run out of things to say to people by about the second third sentence- It's not a problem with my intelligence, I have conversations with my family, friends and online all the time- It's more of a, "I don't know wtf you like and you probably don't want to hear about what I like because its pretty wierd" kinda thing. Oh, I can talk about school pretty well, I guess it's one of the common interests I can actually know another student has :roll.

Though my social anxiety issues are really only apparant when conversing with strangers/people I don't know well I feel like I've had self perception issues my entire life. When I was little I was overweight and was always self-concious of it and even though I've toned up I feel like that image has been preserved over the years. Whenever I typically avoid people, I think thoughts like "Why would they want to speak to me", or "What can I possibly say that wouldn't sound retarded and that wouldn't leave me standing around trying to think of something else". Sadly the thing I'm most concious of that prevents me from approaching people is my inability to connect with them and keep the conversation flowing.

Despite being pretty resiliant and accustomed to being a loner, the thing is- I really really want friends. I just don't know what I need to do to make them. Theres only 3 weeks left on college before summer vacation- I'm really excited and happy to be getting out of my rooming situation for good. However, the other day I was searching my name in google and I found a blog where one of my roomates posted in Caps letters that he hates me and I'm the worst roomate ever (and called me a few innappropriate names :(). This depressed me for like a day or so, the thing that pissed me off about it was that it's posted on google right under my name. I'm not angry at him, I'm just hurt and a little confused (I barely spend anytime in my room, I'm always at the gym or the library anyway). I wanted to post something to respond to it, but I've been putting it off for about a week now and have already classified it as a non-important problem brevity of our remaining time together. I do however want to approach them in person (I don't know how great of an idea this is and if I should bring up the blog) and ask them what they think is wrong with me, I want to ask them for social advice and explain that I wasn't ignoring them because I didn't like them, just that I was ignoring them because I was afraid. Writing this felt cathartic and nice, but these are just all the thoughts that have been fleeting through my head for the past couple of months. I'd greatly appreciate any advice you can give me on my current situation.

-Steven
 

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Hey Steven welcome. :)
 

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Hi Steven,
Congratulations on making it through the year with those two clods. Three is always a tough number of people. There's usually one who gets ostracized. But I don't think they are the kind of people you really want to get your social advice from.
By the way, what is an mmorpg?
Welcome aboard.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
It's an amazing/horrible creation (stands for massive multiplayer online role playing game). It's an online virtual world in which you interact/chat with other players in order to advance yourself and complete missions. It also an incredible time sink and can partly remove the desire for real life social interaction :blush. I played final fantasy 11 for the most part but also had some experience playing guild wars and star wars galaxies.
 

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Welcome, Mombow! :)
 

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Couple things:

"It's more of a, "I don't know wtf you like and you probably don't want to hear about what I like because its pretty wierd" kinda thing."

To this I say just talk about what you like anyways, who cares if you don't fit in with people's normal expectations of what a person likes, normal people are BORING. Also this is the best way to meet people with similar interests.

Also I would talk to your room mates just to clear things up, even though it's really late in the year. That sucks that he wrote about you like that on his blog. Probably best to apologize for putting them off.
 
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