Just recently joined the site and I am excited to be a part of it. I just found out that I have Social Anxiety Disorder a few weeks ago, but I have been struggling with it for a number of years now. My SAD has been a problem since the 6th grade, I am now a senior in high school and it has been tough. In middle school, I was bullied and had a difficult time trusting people or building positive self-esteem as a result. I was betrayed by some people that I was close to, and so my main problem since then has been the way that I approach relationships with other people. In school, I have become much less anxious than I was and have an easier time approaching and talking to people. But sometimes it just feels like everyone is an acquaintance, and for a long time I was convinced that people were pretending to be friends with me. That has improved mostly, but I am worried about trying too hard to become friends with someone either in or out of school, and then that they will reject me completely. As a result, I feel very isolated and have struggled with self esteem issues. I have trouble fitting in with specific cliques, which is a bit of a problem in high school. I have had a lot of success by starting a very popular club at my school, but it didn't make me feel like a social success because I didn't feel like I had real relationships with people. For a while, I thought that no one wanted to talk to me and that people just did so because they felt sorry for me, but now I am trying to convince myself that this isn't true; I have only partially succeeded. I eventually realized that I am funny, interesting, friendly, and outgoing, it's just hard for me to get real relationships with people because I feel like they don't often see me as such. I feel sad that several years of my life have been "lost", but I am looking ahead at the future. I am really trying to improve my fears of rejection and messing up, because I want a good start when I go to college next year. I really hope to someday soon have real relationships and friendships with people without feeling so nervous all the time. So I think that this will be a good place to start and work on improving myself, look forward to getting to know all of you better!