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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am new to the site, I will be 47 years old next year and I still haven't grown out of social anxiety, I have always been a shy and quiet. I have had to learn to come out of my comfort zone to be more social it has helped me to make my relationships with my customers stronger. Now that I am getting some acknowledgement from by customers, my co-workers are giving me the silent treatment. No one talks to me, as if I did something wrong for doing a good job. The people who I thought were friends treat me like they do not know me. I have mentioned this to a supervisor and she thinks it is all in my head. I go to work every morning sick to my stomach trying to figure out why I am getting out casted. I see it happened and know I am not imaging it or am I. Help!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hi Thank you for responding, my co-workers do not know I feel this way they just think I am busy, I try to make it look like I am busy so they do not see me feeling upset. We all were good friends at one time until I became promoted, if they only knew how hard it is for me to socialize. It almost feels like I am actress. I am really nervous the whole time, even though people tell me I look confident. I guess my problem is that I want to be accepted and liked, no matter what I do I can not fit in. I feel like people want me to fail, I am trying not to let it get to me. maybe there is a weird jealously thing going on here.. I just know I am not imagining the cold shoulder for someone that has SAD this is the worst thing that can happen to you.
 

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I think they are jealous because you got promoted, so it's like you have a higher salary.

Anyways, everyone does want to be accepted and liked. So you aren't alone there. Maybe you shouldn't try to fit in and just be you? :)

I don't think you are imagining the cold shoulder. If your coworkers can't appreciate you, wouldn't it just be best to find other friends? Your coworkers that were good friends with you should have been happy for you, not jealous.

I'm not sure what else I can say, but I hope things get better for you! :D
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
For age 15, you have a lot of insight. Thank you for your kind comments, I have acted like it doesn't bother me, but it does. It really doesn't matter how old or young you are, it boils down to self esteem and confidence. I never felt good enough when I was young - even though people that know have met me personally would never believe I have problems with social anxiety. I think this site is a great place to vent maybe after you get it off your chest you begin to feel better.
 

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Thanks. :)
This site will probably help you.
It is true that regardless of who you are, you can still get SA and suffer with low self esteem and etc.
If it's not too personal, can I ask why you didn't feel good enough as a child?
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I grew up in a hostile environment, my father was a heavy drinker he was in the military since he was 16 years old, and was in Vietnam. My father had a hard time communicating with young girls he was going through depression and anxiety we found out later that he had bi-polar disorder. To make a long story short, he was very abusive mentally not physically he made you feel like 2 cents, he expected perfection at all times. No one can live up to such high standards. It made my sister and I feel like we were not good enough. It is something that we can not shake off until this day, I can cope with it but it is still there. I am lucky to have met people along the way that have helped me feel good about myself or I would be a basket case by now. I can not blame my father for everything, but it was a start.
 

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I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Perfection at all times must be difficult. It is impossible to live up to high standards like that because no one is perfect and as people we are bound to make mistakes.
It's a shame that your father abused you and your sister mentally because of his disorders and experience in the military.

Just wondering, have you ever decided to see someone like a therapist because what you gone through is quite scarring.
 

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Hey mina123 welcome. :hyper
 

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Welcome, Mina123! :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Perfection at all times must be difficult. It is impossible to live up to high standards like that because no one is perfect and as people we are bound to make mistakes.
It's a shame that your father abused you and your sister mentally because of his disorders and experience in the military.

Just wondering, have you ever decided to see someone like a therapist because what you gone through is quite scarring.
Hello, I actually saw a therapist for some time it worked to help with my eating disorder and other issues. I am doing better now, I think I just need to vent and see that I am not alone, you seem so put together why are you on this website?
 

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It's great that you are doing better now. :)

Even thought I might seem so put together, I'm really not. I have some issues and problems of my own. I can't help feel afraid of being judged by others and being around people just makes me extremely nervous.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I am sorry to hear that, my son is 16 he is going through the same thing. He is a good looking kid, but he stutters when he speaks sometimes I feel embarrassed for him, he found some new friends who are different, they seems to except him the way he is - he seems happy. If the roles were reversed I would never leave the house I do not know where he finds the strength. I was told once by my son, that he doesn't care what people think of him. I wish I could be that way, I worry too much about what people are thinking.
 

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Wow. Your son is amazing to just not care about what people think about him, especially when he has a stuttering issue.

Someday hopefully, we both might no longer worry about what other people are thinking. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
he is pretty amazing, I remember when I was your age, I always felt embarrassed by everything. I would be so nervous when it came time for gym class especially when we had to play volleyball against the boys. I would start shaking and miss the ball because I was so afraid of looking bad. I would literally lose my voice when I had to speak in front of the class. I recently had to speak in front of my co-workers I was a nervous wreck. I can talk in front of one or two people but not a whole group of people. Do you have any friends who understand your nervousness?
 

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No, not really. All of my friends are outgoing, independent, and very confident, so I don't think they'll understand how I feel.
Talking in front of a whole group of people sounds kind of scary and nerve wrecking.

Even thought you were a nervous wreck, you still were able to speak in front of your co-workers. That is amazing, you were able to get through it even thought you were so nervous. :)

I understand how you feel about gym. It's difficult because what if you mess up and then your team ends up suffering because of it. So yeah, it's not really my cup of tea either.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
As you get older you will be put into situations that you are uncomfortable with, I was able to do a lot things I never thought I could do. I just wish I could get the crazy thoughts out of my mind. I wish I would not care what people think it would make life easier. You are still very young, you have a lot to experience -I think you are on the right track I would never know you were the nervous type. Try to step out of your comfort zone with a good friend as a back-up. You will see that it is not that bad afterall. It has worked for me, I still try to force myself to do things that would normally scare me.
 
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