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fish r frend not 4 FOOD!
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
hello everyone. I'm John from Philippines. I don't know if I have Social Anxiety disorder. I always feel that I'm not from this world. I feel like I'm not normal to everyone. I always hide at people because they are cruel to me. Every people hates me because of how I look like(I'm not that ugly). whenever I walk the streets people are staring at me(I don't wear a clown suit!) and sometimes and always girls look at me like EEEEWWW yuck! I can read that from their eye and movements. I am always alone with my video game console. whenever I play a game, in the game I am playing, I feel like I'm inside the game in another world full of happiness, joy, intense action, and sometimes love. I don't look at peoples eyes whenever I walk down the street because their stares makes my wanna kill them. I feel like want to kill people I cross in malls, streets etc. specially the people with nice god given faces, sweet couples, happy friends having fun and etc. I don't have friends even if I want to make friends with them. Is that because I act like weird? I always hide in my room and play my game consoles I feel like in another world where I am the best. video games and my mother and my aquarium fishes is the reason why I'm still alive and breathing. no video game, no mother, no fishes then I'm dead. those are very Important to me. I don't care If other peoples die as long that 3 remains I'm happy. I don't know if I will grow old and die with this problem. please help me.
 

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263 Posts
Hi John, I understand the pain you feel. I've even thought similar things in the past. It does seem like you suffer from anxiety issues. It's unlikely that those people are judging you so harshly when you walk down the street. It's common for us socially anxious to read into things which aren't there. It's a defense mechanism we use to avoid potential pain.

You took a big step posting here, I know how difficult it can be. Have you spoken to a doctor about your problems? If not, I think that should be your next step.

and welcome to the forum :)
 

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177,223 Posts
Hey John, welcome to :sas
 

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fish r frend not 4 FOOD!
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4 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
yes fear goggles. I talked to my doctor. I have schizoprenia(I don't know the spelling ^_^). I take fluanxol once a month. but I'm well now(40% remains). I'm very anxious always whenever there is people around. I'm scared of them. but I'm trying to fight it by going to crowded places(but I wear earphones and listen to music loudly because peoples voices irritates me). And thanks for the warm welcome! :)

@load licker - Thanks for the warm welcome! :)

This is my first time joining a forum. hope I will have more friends. :)
 

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154,235 Posts
Welcome, LuxPain12! :)
 

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524 Posts
Welcome to SAS!

I understand your feelings. It's easy to feel isolated from everyone and think they are thinking things that they aren't necessarily. Yet I know how real it feels.

When you have SA, you create fears and dialogues in your head that aren't always true. Then you feel like retreating as a result of them. It isolates you. The more your isolated, the louder the fears seem.

Just take little steps daily to get yourself a little outside of your comfort zone and reach out, as best as you can. Sometimes the best way to overcome the fear and isolation is to take steps each day. Even the tiniest steps make all the difference.

Just see what it would be like to imagine people saying positive things about you when they look at you instead of negative. Try to smile on the inside instead of scowl. Try little ways you can connect with the outside world even without friends. Just people you encounter, send off positive thoughts and energy.

Maybe see if there are other things you can find you enjoy doing other than video games. I'm not saying stop but maybe gradually find other things on the side.

I know this is easier said than done. Overcoming SA takes small, courageous steps daily.

I wish you all the best!
 

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Mutual Sufferer
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169 Posts
Welcome to the Special Air Ser- .. I mean, Social Anxiety Support forums. I always get those acronyms mixed up.
 
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