[holdencaulfield]

I just realized I have social anxiety and it's really depressing.. I thought I was getting better since I can talk to people now and hold some small talk (with huge awkward silences in the middle) but since school's over I realize my summer has NO social interaction whatsoever.. I'm a teenager and it always feels like everyone else already found their groups and friends and I dont know where to go. When school was still in session I could still make a lot of small talk and wasnt as alone but now I dont know what to do. I browsed around this forum a bit and took the social anxiety scale test.. I got 100 with "very severe social phobia" I dont know what to do can anyone help me please.. geezus im too phobic to even put my real first name on here.. sorry

oh and also im not feeling any Anxious sensations but im full of Anxious thoughts and Anxious behaviors.. this completely describes me..

* "Everyone is staring at me."
* "They'll think I'm a loser."
* "I don't belong here."
* "I won't have anything to say."
* "People will see how nervous I am."
* "They won't want to talk to me again."
* "I will keep looking more and more foolish."
* Avoiding entering social situations
* Leaving situations
* Only entering "safe" places or with "safe" people
* Using mobile phones, MP3 players, or other devices to avoid being in conversations
* Apologizing excessively
* Asking for reassurance from others
* Preparing excessively (memorizing what to say, extreme grooming)
* Trying to direct people's attention away from one's performance (e.g., by making jokes, dressing in a particular way, etc.)
* Watching for signs that people are judging us

i dont want to feel like this anymore and waste away my high school years which are supposed to be memorable and fun but for me is just miserable..

 

[Toad Licker]

Hey holdencaulfield, welcome to :sas

 

[templar19]

Hi Holden,

What you're describing is pretty much my experience of high school. The only reason I really made any friends was because I was smart, so people would gravitate to me because I knew the answers to everything. Then, when summer started, they all went and had fun, and I hardly saw them.
I can also relate to not fitting in. I didn't start public school until I was 16, so by then everyone pretty much had their little cliques set up. I've often persisted in feeling that I really don't fit in anywhere. But I think this is symptomatic of SA: the feeling that everyone you meet is sizing you up and analyzing you alienates you from them. I've tended to see people as potential FOES, rather than potential FRIENDS, which really makes breaking the ice and getting to know others hard. Your teenage years don't need to be memorable and fun...mine sure as hell weren't. There are plenty of good, productive years to come when you're an adult.
One thing I've found is that it's easier to get involved with people when there's a shared interest. I've found some groups through the internet (meetup in particular) that meet and participate in various activities I'm interested in. Having a shared goal gives you some extra leverage to break the ice; but also, if you don't feel like sharing too much of yourself and think small talk is just too much, you can always use talking about that shared interest as your safety zone.
If you ever want to talk more, feel free to get in touch with me.

Peter

 

[Hypnotoad]

Hi and :wel

What you say here:

oh and also im not feeling any Anxious sensations but im full of Anxious thoughts and Anxious behaviors.. this completely describes me..

* "Everyone is staring at me."
* "They'll think I'm a loser."
* "I don't belong here."
* "I won't have anything to say."
* "People will see how nervous I am."
* "They won't want to talk to me again."
* "I will keep looking more and more foolish."
* Avoiding entering social situations
* Leaving situations
* Only entering "safe" places or with "safe" people
* Using mobile phones, MP3 players, or other devices to avoid being in conversations
* Apologizing excessively
* Asking for reassurance from others
* Preparing excessively (memorizing what to say, extreme grooming)
* Trying to direct people's attention away from one's performance (e.g., by making jokes, dressing in a particular way, etc.)
* Watching for signs that people are judging us

describes me 100%, so you're not alone

 

[UltraShy]

:wel

 

[millenniumman75]

Welcome, HoldenCaulfield!

 

[TorLin]

HELLO holdencaulfield, Welcome to the SAS forum !
:wels

 

[kidA]

holden, in my opinion, life starts after high school. i had a pretty bland experience in high school, but i got out into the world and i'm working on making myself.

just remember, one day at a time. life is what you make of it.

welcome to the forums, i hope you find the support you're seeking here.

 

[Alone42Long]

Hi holdencaulfield :wel