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Hi everybody !

listen i am 16 years old , male , and from somewhere in asia .

and i ain't gonna sapre anything. it's long , but please read it ...

ok here's the story :

i was allways the shyest dude around , i remember even as back as kindergarden there was a girl i liked , and whenever she was near by me i would blush and become all stressed out .

then i got older and went to elemantary school . i was very quite all the time , and had only few friends . talking in class was really hard for me . i had very few friends . and one best friend . you can say that throgh him the others were my friends cos they were his friends . and the only time i would feel like i can be myself was in my home ( i have two older sisters , so when they invited friends over i couldn't be as well and i would shut in my room ) , and at my friends house alone with him ( for instance if his brother or mom would have showed up i would immedialy stress and act all stiff , or if suddenlt his friends would call him up and asked us to go to the basketball court and play with them i will say to him " no , let's stay here " .

so as you can imagine i throghout elemantary i was not popular to say the least , i always had the image of the very shy and quite kid , and it never really botherd me ...untill........one in my last year of elemantary school about mid way throgh i had a fight with him ! a serious fight !

and then begining with the day after we stopped being friends and i was really lonely . i waited and waited and sought that we will become friends again but it didn't happend , so as you can imagine i was really looking forward to finishing elematary school and going to junior high school .

ok , i went to junior high school (7th grade - was in 2005 ) , and luckily i found 2 friends almost straight from the begining . we were a group of three me and the two friends , and i was somewhat of theyre leader ( again ,i would only feel comfortable alone with them ), one of them used to call me almost every day and he wanted to come to my house almost everyay and he was a very good friend of me .
now i was doing really good i think , i mean i had good grades , i had those loyal friends . but ..................i was bullyed . bully kids used to make fun of me , and harass me very much, because they saw the amazing shyness i had , and as you all know when kids see weakness at some other kid they just go at it full force . and so instead of telling my teacher that some kids are bullying me and as result the teacher would have punished them and they would have stopped , i did the cowrdish thing and decided to move school ,in addition i had a fight with my 2 friends , and stopped being friends with them shortly before leaving school . i left that school at the end of my 8th grade .

ok so i started this new school , and unfotunatly i didn't found any friends !
i need to note that this school was really big ! very Big ! the school i moved from this had two classes of 30 student a grade , and this one had 8 classes of 40 students a grade ! !!! !! (this is the reason i think i found those 2 friends easily in the first school , because it was small and quite with not alot of kids )

every day was really stressful for me , and when i say really - i mean like in a sextillionl level - kind of way ( sextillion - a million trillion ) .

ok i was super loonley and just had no friends , and used to sit in class sadly , in depression waiting for the class to start while everobody hd fun outside . also to my lonelyness some kids bullyd me again ,,,,it was a nightmare,,,,and so i decided to move again ,,,,,,,,,,


this time to a school far away from my home , about 40 mins drive .

again i was super stressfu evryday becasue of my SA , and immediatly i had no friends . in this school nobody even bothered to bully me , i was so loonley ....again i had nothing to do in the breaks between classes so inorder for people not to see that i don't have friends , i used to hid in the bathroom waiting for class to start . it was the worst time of my life ,,,,absolute turture . and then this was my 10th grade i decided to move again,,,,,,

ok so i decided this year my 11th year to go back to the first school where i had the two friends . to remind you i stopped being there friend , and to my amazement i discovered that another kid became friends with them and if you want was my replacement ,,,,
so i decided to try and hang out with them in brakes between classes in order to try and become friends with them again ,,,,but it wasn't long after i realised that they under the leadership of that new kid if you want , started to make fun of what i would say and not take me seriously .

at one point it was in february , i had enough with theyre crap and got into physicall fight with them.

after that i got expelled from that school,,,and started

a some sort of evening school .

there i don't have friends too,,,but my parents force me to be there . it is a school that you study only like 2 hours a day , and do the exams that normal school in my country does , but in your diploma it will say that you have a evening school diploma and not regular.

i don't have friends there too .

i need to mention that i was in severe and i mean severe in a sextillion way ,,,and i started taking Prozak in march this year . it helps me very much ! with out it i was in bed all day ,,,wanting to do nothing ,

any way ,,,,,,so my routine this days is like this : i wake up at noon , watch tv and eat , go to the evening school , and go home watch tv eat and sleep.

and i want friends,,,,to hang out with ,,,,,,cos right now the evening school is the only reason i leave my home ...........


i want friends to go to movies , hang out with,,,,,,but now i have nothing :(

ok ,,,,,,,,,that's it.......
 

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Hey olmilum :wel
 

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:wel
 

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I've got to hand it to you though.Your going to finish school.I'm so sorry you feel so lonely.It just made me want to cry.I hated school so much.Kids can be such brats.hang in there.You'll like it here.Welcome.
 

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Welcome, Olmilum! :)
 

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Hi olmilum :wel

I can relate on some of what you said.
I moved growing up so attended many schools. In 8th grade had a couple fiends when a new kid arrived & convinced them to reject me. He tried to start physical fights with me as well. My last 2 years of H.S. I only went 2 hours in the morning then went to a technical institute in the afternoon. I hope you find here helpful & succeed in finding a good friend or two to hang out with. All the best.
 
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