okay so i am new here i always saw this forum come up in google searches with my compulsive web searching about mental illness....lol.....finally i wound up making an account....i suppose i should introduce myself here, i'm 16 (going to be a junior) and "socially anxious". in elementary school i wasn't really that shy or anything i had fun with my friends and i was outgoing....in 6th/7th grade my friends from elementary school and i grew apart and i didn't really make new ones.... i suppose that is when i became quite socially anxious and i was friendless....i don't really remember why it's kinda hard to remember all of this because that was like 5 years ago.....around 9th or 10th grade i think i didn't care as much i was kinda a hermit i was comfortable around people i suppose i just didnt talk to them much(i guess that's from my atrophy of social skills from my middle school years) ....end of 10th grade i saw a shrink for a month (i went for 3 sessions) and i made a few friends in 10th grade who were cool but they stopped talking to me and said i was like too quiet or whatever, i told my shrink this and she thought i must be terribly socially anxious (i don't know if she officially diagnosed me with SAD but she said you need to overcome your social anxiety or whatever) and she was pushing the whole antidepressant thing too much and it pissed me off (she wanted me to go on lexapro) so i stopped going after that, that is when i became unbearably socially anxious, i don't know why but her telling me i had "socially anxiety" made me feel socially anxious...i got really nervous when i talked to people and now i am the same way, it's worse some days than others TBH, some days i am fine and pretty comfortable and other days i'm really nervous, yesterday my sister brought one of her new friends over and i almost didn't leave my room because i knew i was going to have to meet him..eventually i wound up talking to him he is a really cool guy (and extremely, extremely good looking ,so that made him more intimidating) but talking to him was nerve wrecking for me....i'm trying to find a new shrink now so i'm trying to get over this without meds or anything (i don't think the risk is worth it because i am so socially anxious to the point i can't even go to school or talk to anyone)
sorry this hardly sounds coherent it's kinda rambling...i probably sound like a complete idiot but i don't put much effort into my grammar when i'm online....whatever...i needed to vent
sorry this hardly sounds coherent it's kinda rambling...i probably sound like a complete idiot but i don't put much effort into my grammar when i'm online....whatever...i needed to vent