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So. I don't really know where to start, I feel that for the most part we come here to search people that are similar to us so i'll start typing random facts for anyone to notice if they have anything in common with me (¿? hopefully)

Well, I have been diagnostically diagnosed with bipolar disorder, depression nd anxiety however my friends nor my parents accept this. They say I do not show some of the traits from people with these disorder i.e being violent. I myself am pretty dubious about these diagnostics and the disorders. Sometimes I'm like 'yes, its a thing' and then I try to convince myself it's not real and I just overthink things too much...know what I mean? Sometimes I want to use meds, sometimes I'm like I can do this by myself.

-I want to become a doctor, It's my passion and my dream and that's why I'm afraid of the meds..that they'll turn me down because of that or im also worried about the weight gain!
-I'm not stick thin neither am I morbidly obese, I'm just very uncomfortable with my body. I used to be pretty big and lost tons of weight, still need to lose some more but however. I feel so ashamed of myself and sometimes I'm like it's okay to be any size, and them I'm like no it's not everyone laughs at me or no one wants to have anything to do with me.
-My ex boyfriend of 2 years never laid a hand on me, because I was too good. Bull****, he was gay and I just let it go by. I never complained but If i did I said sorry because I was too scared to lose him.
-He cheated on me repeatedly and lied to me constantly, which makes me completely not trust people.
-Even before that I had trust issues don't worry. Im really paranoid sometimes.
-I always think other persons are betraying me or talking bad about me or my physique.
-Sometimes i can't go outside of my house (i.e. mall) for more than 10 minutes because I start to feel so uncomfortable it makes me want to cry.
-High peaks or comfyness then pretty bad low points...
-I used to cut myself, sometimes I still wish I did but people have made such a BS thing about it that it pisses me off it seems like something to get attention rather than for the real deal, plus its really hot where I live.
-I used to be bulimic and wish I still was but I can't make myself vomit anymore. I have eating disorders and no one believes it because im fat.
-I have very 'weird' tastes and that appeals to some and to others it doesn't and they say things about me so im confused as to how i should react and be...get me? Like should i truly be myself or try to adjust and then people wouldn't see me as someone weird and id be happy?
-I only have one true friend as of right now honestly...
-All my friends turned their back on me at some point and it really pisses me off.
-I hate hypocrites and I used to be one so it makes me really mad.
-No ones talks to me because they want to know me...? but because they want something.
-I overthink way TOO much
-I speak WAY too much
-I write WAY too much.
-Im into horror and sci-fi. metal, punk rock, pop punk.
-I love oil, watercolor, pencil etc painting.
-I love books.

I don't know what else to write...I always feel like i make everyone hate me because i talk way too much and think too much so im really sorry if its annoying that this is so long...you can comment what you wish even your stories, im a good listener and love giving advice. Thanks
 

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Welcome, EllyxKar! :)
 

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Hey EllyxKar welcome! :)

I'm sorry to hear about the things that have happened to you in the past, you seem like an interesting person, I'm sure you'll meet some friends on here!
 
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