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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've kinda thought that I've had SA for a long time now, probably around 14. I'm not really sure, but I know that I like physically can't talk to new people unless it is like 'required'. Like if you're in class and you get instructions to get into a group, ill have no problem just to start talking to someone and ill probably be fine in the group too. But talking to random people when it's not required just does not happen. Before I can even approach them I feel like they're thinking, who does he thing he is? Approaching us like that, he's not cool or whatever. I'm not physically unattractive. I work out, I consider myself to be 'good-looking' but I just can't shake the feeling that no one else agrees. It's just really frustrating. And then the second you give into those thoughts, which happens eventually, you actually start acting weird, due to anxiety, then people actually think you're weird...! Basically anywhere where there is a chance that I can mess up, I tend to my even try, because I don't want people thinking bad about me. In reality I could care less what people think, but in my head apparently their opinions are far superior to mine. I've tried to just 'meditate' by trying to stay positive and focusing on breathing, but it doesn't work all that well. Should I try to get some meds or see a psychiatrist or something? Because at times I feel like I'm missing a pretty fun time in my life that I can't really seem to enjoy. I kinda hoped I'd shake the feelin eventually if you know what I mean; but it looks like it's here to stay. Any advice for a newbie lol?
 

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Hi there.

I know exactly what you mean. It's a self-fulfilling prophesy that repeats itself because we tell ourself that we are inferior, and each time our belief comes to fruition, it reinforces the negative thoughts we have.

I have come to realize that I tend to project my insecurities into what I like to call the "everyone else" phenomenon. If my husband wants us to attend a party, I will refuse because "everyone else" will think I'm rather boring and not very articulate. If I need to go to a new place, even for something mundane, I will talk myself out of it, because "everyone else" will think I'm ugly or odd. It's a complete fabrication of course, but it is the incarnation of all my deep seeded fears, as "everyone else" doesn't really exist, and even if it did, does it really matter what "everyone else" thinks? The right answer is no, but I'm still a work in progress at finding the balance of knowing that, and accepting it. I've gotten better at shutting down the process before it gets started, but the thought still creeps in at times.

Recognizing you have a problem is the first step in finding the solution for it. We can't always troubleshoot our problems, as we don't have the independent insight to do so. Having someone to talk to, that understands where you are coming from, can help give you that insight, and steer you in the direction of self-acceptance and the security of body and mind to go out there and be the fundamental you that "everyone else" deserves to see.

We all have our quirks and eccentricities which sets us apart from each other. That, in and of itself, is what makes the world beautiful and interesting. If we were all the same, it would be a boring place, indeed.

I do hope you are able to find out about yourself, and are able to share that with others. You, I'm sure, are a very interesting and intriguing person, and the rest of the world, including "everyone else" should have the opportunity to know that.

Best of luck, and if you need someone to talk with, I'm more than willing to listen.
{{{{hugs}}}}
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks a lot Sarah86, it's nice to know someone understands :). Thanks for all the welcome wishes from everyone else too.
 

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Welcome. It is definitely difficult when you are concerned with others opinions of you. Have you taked to a therapist about this?
 

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Welcome, XiPassiX! :)
 
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