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So there are these 3 new girls that go to my church now and we were at an activity monday night where we did like improv skits. (surprised i actually participated) But i felt like i did good in keeping my SA in check but then i overheard these girls talking to my friends saying how shy i was. It kinda crushed me because i thought i did so good.
Also, My friend then showed them a video he took of me while i was in his car of me singing a kanye west song haha and they were shocked. It seems like when i am singing i am more social even though i suck bad. does anyone feel this way?
 

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"Why So Serious?"
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I hate when this happens, it happens much less these past few years but I know what you mean. Sometimes I thought I was doing great and having quite an "extroverted" time and I still managed to get someone to tell me or make a comment that I was shy. It was always like....ok so if this isn't extroverted....I give up. normal mode; engage
 

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These types of comments frustrate me to no end. I'm so shy - yes, well didn't you just make the most brilliant observation. Was it that necessary to point it out to me and everyone else within an earshot?

There is a bright side in that I feel being seen as shy is more of a positive than a negative - something I can't say about its opposite (obnoxiously loud).
 

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Yeah, I find it annoying when I think I'm being talkative, but others still think I'm quiet. I guess my definition of being talkative isn't the same for others.
 

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So there are these 3 new girls that go to my church now and we were at an activity monday night where we did like improv skits. (surprised i actually participated) But i felt like i did good in keeping my SA in check but then i overheard these girls talking to my friends saying how shy i was. It kinda crushed me because i thought i did so good.
Also, My friend then showed them a video he took of me while i was in his car of me singing a kanye west song haha and they were shocked. It seems like when i am singing i am more social even though i suck bad. does anyone feel this way?
*Meh* The first thought that comes to mind is that I cannot keep up with other people in terms of being chitty chatty anyways, so even if i did try i would likely be mostly at odds with myself.

Whenever i'm in conversation, my responses are always lame and i will think of something to say about something 10 minutes after people have stopped talking about it and moved onto the next subject.

These girls are just going by the standard of what they see in other guys who don't have social anxiety so you can take it with a grain of salt, although it would certainly burst your bubble a fair bit.

You look like a decent looking guy (without sounding ****-erotic) so i think you would find yourself in this situation than say a person like myself would, for instance.
 

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Being shy isnt always bad, you did a good job keeping your SA in check, and shyness in itself isnt negative. Its one thing it took me a long time to realized, theres a big difference between being shy, and being weird. When im excessively reserved, and go to great lengths to avoid contact, im weird, when I do go out and do stuff and come off as shy its not a problem, I'm a normal person I just talk a little less.


Being called shy used to bug me for years, but its something I got used to and saw in a different light. Even if you overcome SA you'll probably remain a little reserved, even on my best days I'm shy, unless im drunk, but thats a different story. The girls noticed you enough to talk about you, which is good.

In short I guess im tryin to say if you let the shy comments get to you, your just gunna let the anxiety creep up on you more, its a trait of yours and likely everyone, its not an insult and I think its a big step for everyone with SA to realize that. Coming off as shy also makes it more likely a girl is going to approach you, my gf came after me because she knew after a while I would be too shy to do it (after you know them for a while).
 

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Yeah! I hate that. I guess we just need to keep trying though. Or maybe ask your friends as to how you may still come off as being shy. That outside view might help! :\
 

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i dont get ppl telling me that, i usually tell myself that lol but when really i am a very social person but to be like that from the second i meet someone is hardest part
 

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everyone gets shy. those people with out SA are just better at hiding it and controlling it. brad pitt gets shy too. :eek:
 

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sometimes i wish i were part of the easter world because i think they would see my shyness as normal and shun those who are overly loud.
 

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Someone asked me if I was shy and I asked, "Really? I've never had anyone say that directly to me...what is it about me that makes you think I'm shy?" He quickly changed the subject, lol.

I recently decided that I don't mind if people want to comment on my shyness, but if they do, I'm gonna give them a hard time.
 

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Generally whenever I meet new people - especially people that are going to be rather important like long-term classmates or co-workers - I sort of try to put on this smiley, friendly, outgoing, yes-I-really-do-like-you act because I know that a lot of people interpret quietness as snobbishness or dislike and I don't want to start off on the wrong foot. And they don't have any adverse reaction and so I sort of pat myself on the back and say see, it worked, you did well. And then a little while later someone makes an offhand comment about, "Well when we first met you it was obvious that you're quite shy..." Acting fail. :(
 

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Yeah, I find it annoying when I think I'm being talkative, but others still think I'm quiet. I guess my definition of being talkative isn't the same for others.
I have felt that same way. Thought I was doing good but STILL seemed too quiet to some people. Shows they are used to loud, talkative people.
 

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Yea I get that too. Sometimes I think im talking loud but im really not. Or when I think im being outgoing and animated, im just normal to others. You can always record yourself and see how you look or come off. Maybe record a video of yourself telling a story with enthusiasm and play it back. Alot of the shyness that people are mentioning has to do with voice tone and body language.
 
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