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Discussion Starter #1
So, hi, I'm new here. I know I should start with the introductions forum but I'm kind of desperate for advice.

First off, I haven't been to a therapist yet (can't until end of August, that's when I'll have insurance) and I haven't been diagnosed with SA, but something is definitely wrong with me and I feel like I'm going crazy. I've been reading up on SA and I'm basically 99% sure I have always had it...but it has never been this bad before. I've always been kind of a loner, but I've always had at least one or two close friends. However, last semester I completely ditched all of my friends for no good reason, and for the first time in my life I am completely and totally friendless. I haven't seen anyone outside of my immediate family all summer. Ever since school let out and I haven't had anything academic to concentrate on, anxiety has been building and building and building to the point where I feel like I'm drowning in my own head. It's just a steady drumbeat: "why would I do that? what was I thinking? what must those people think of me? I'm so embarrassed of myself. I can't believe I did that." And on and on and on. I keep thinking of specific moments that happened years ago, that aren't in any way relevant to my life now, and I agonize over them. Then I get paranoid, thinking, "what if so-and-so remembers and what if they tell other people and it follows me forever?" Then I think of things that haven't even happened. Things that technically could happen at some point...but really probably won't. And I get anxious. The worst thing is, I just worry and worry and worry about people talking about me behind my back...even though I've ditched all my friends and haven't hung out with or seen anyone in months, so there's no one who would really be talking about me.

And the lengths I went to to avoid everybody last semester were absolutely mind-boggling. I lived in an apartment with my close friends (the ones I ditched) and in order to avoid them, I would get up at five AM, leave the apartment before they even woke up (hours before my classes), and memorize their schedules so I would know when they would be gone so I could come back to an empty apartment and lock myself in my room for the rest of the night. I would even WALK to my apartment from campus - FOUR MILES - if I was afraid I might have to take a bus with one of my friends. I hoarded food in my room and brought a mini-fridge from home so I wouldn't have to use the kitchen. I would walk to the grocery store early on Saturdays when they were asleep, so I wouldn't have to go with them or see them when I got back. I could go days, even sometimes a whole week, without even seeing my best friends, and we lived together.

Has anyone else had social anxiety sort of come on full-force very suddenly? This is not the first time I've avoided people. In fact, I did the same thing a couple of summers ago when I was working in a dorm over the summer, avoided everyone and hoarded food in my room because they were strangers and it was too stressful getting to know them. But it is the first time I've ever avoided people who were my close friends. And I've never had this crazy anxiety take over every thought all day long. I used to have anxiety sometimes, but never constantly like this. Since I can't go to a therapist for another month, how do I start to deal with this? What can I do on my own? I'm even afraid to go back to school. I'm afraid of stupid things, like that someone in my class will remember something I did two years ago or something. I can't stand living in my own head anymore, and avoiding going back to college is not an option. I have two semesters left before I graduate, my parents have already spent thousands of dollars, and I can't drop out now. What can I do to help myself?

wow, sorry for such a long post...didn't mean to write a novel...
 

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You pretty much have classic severe social anxiety along with obsessive compulsive disorder. You are just like the rest of us here, and I am glad you came and joined us! :)

Now you are doing exactly what you should be doing. You identified you have something going on that might be abnormal, and you are seeking help!

As far as it hitting all of a sudden, yes it does happen to people. I personally have always had it, but have read about others getting SA out of the blue!

Welcome to the site!
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Thanks for the response! Well, it's good to know I was right when I thought it was social anxiety, and that I'm not the only one :)
 

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Hey! Welcome to the site, you've come to the right place. For me it started when I was 15, eventually got so bad that I started avoiding my best friends too, now I don't have any...but I'm married and have a daughter..just don't have any close friends..Good luck! I hope you find some help! :)
 

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So, hi, I'm new here. I know I should start with the introductions forum but I'm kind of desperate for advice.

First off, I haven't been to a therapist yet (can't until end of August, that's when I'll have insurance) and I haven't been diagnosed with SA, but something is definitely wrong with me and I feel like I'm going crazy. I've been reading up on SA and I'm basically 99% sure I have always had it...but it has never been this bad before. I've always been kind of a loner, but I've always had at least one or two close friends. However, last semester I completely ditched all of my friends for no good reason, and for the first time in my life I am completely and totally friendless. I haven't seen anyone outside of my immediate family all summer. Ever since school let out and I haven't had anything academic to concentrate on, anxiety has been building and building and building to the point where I feel like I'm drowning in my own head. It's just a steady drumbeat: "why would I do that? what was I thinking? what must those people think of me? I'm so embarrassed of myself. I can't believe I did that." And on and on and on. I keep thinking of specific moments that happened years ago, that aren't in any way relevant to my life now, and I agonize over them. Then I get paranoid, thinking, "what if so-and-so remembers and what if they tell other people and it follows me forever?" Then I think of things that haven't even happened. Things that technically could happen at some point...but really probably won't. And I get anxious. The worst thing is, I just worry and worry and worry about people talking about me behind my back...even though I've ditched all my friends and haven't hung out with or seen anyone in months, so there's no one who would really be talking about me.

And the lengths I went to to avoid everybody last semester were absolutely mind-boggling. I lived in an apartment with my close friends (the ones I ditched) and in order to avoid them, I would get up at five AM, leave the apartment before they even woke up (hours before my classes), and memorize their schedules so I would know when they would be gone so I could come back to an empty apartment and lock myself in my room for the rest of the night. I would even WALK to my apartment from campus - FOUR MILES - if I was afraid I might have to take a bus with one of my friends. I hoarded food in my room and brought a mini-fridge from home so I wouldn't have to use the kitchen. I would walk to the grocery store early on Saturdays when they were asleep, so I wouldn't have to go with them or see them when I got back. I could go days, even sometimes a whole week, without even seeing my best friends, and we lived together.

Has anyone else had social anxiety sort of come on full-force very suddenly? This is not the first time I've avoided people. In fact, I did the same thing a couple of summers ago when I was working in a dorm over the summer, avoided everyone and hoarded food in my room because they were strangers and it was too stressful getting to know them. But it is the first time I've ever avoided people who were my close friends. And I've never had this crazy anxiety take over every thought all day long. I used to have anxiety sometimes, but never constantly like this. Since I can't go to a therapist for another month, how do I start to deal with this? What can I do on my own? I'm even afraid to go back to school. I'm afraid of stupid things, like that someone in my class will remember something I did two years ago or something. I can't stand living in my own head anymore, and avoiding going back to college is not an option. I have two semesters left before I graduate, my parents have already spent thousands of dollars, and I can't drop out now. What can I do to help myself?

wow, sorry for such a long post...didn't mean to write a novel...
my adice for the next month, before seeing a therapist, is to get a diary and split it into 4 catagorys:

1)situation
2)thoughts
3)emotions
4)behaviour

and then record all of the experiences that are troubling you. e.g in the situation section you would write ''thinking about bumping into one of my mates int he shopping centre''. then right down what thoughts you had in this situation e.g '' o no what if i bump into him, it will be so emarassing ''. then how you feel e.g anxious, embarassed etc...., and then your behaviour e.g '' i got up at 5am and went to the shop early so that i could avoid my mates''

basically you just want to get a good undersatdnign of the situations that bother you, how you are feeling, why those situations are difficult, and what your habits are . you wnt to be looking for a pattern

in the next month i would also suggest reading gillian butlers book overcoming social anxiety and shyness
 

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You pretty much have classic severe social anxiety along with obsessive compulsive disorder. You are just like the rest of us here, and I am glad you came and joined us! :)

Now you are doing exactly what you should be doing. You identified you have something going on that might be abnormal, and you are seeking help!

As far as it hitting all of a sudden, yes it does happen to people. I personally have always had it, but have read about others getting SA out of the blue!

Welcome to the site!
there is absolutely nothing in this persons post that suggests he/she has obsessive compulsive disorder.

i find it really strange that you have sed this
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Thanks for the comments and suggestions, socially inept. The diary is a good idea.

there is absolutely nothing in this persons post that suggests he/she has obsessive compulsive disorder.

i find it really strange that you have sed this
It's strange, I actually was diagnosed with Tourette's and OCD when I was in the 5th grade, but I didn't notice any OCD going along with my social anxiety either until Aleforge suggested it.
 

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i know exactly what youve been through. im at uni and have had similar experiences. i couldnt take the buses, just the thought makes me nervous, im lucky i guess it was only a 30min walk for me. i couldnt even phone home because i was paranoid someone would hear me. i almost disappeared completely. someone suggested a diary, which is a great idea, i did a similar thing and its given me the drive to try and change my situation. figuring out why i do things and the thought processes behind them made me understand myself better and with this brings a bit of confidence, i found my boundaries and where i could push them. then little changes, and hopefully they mount up into something more substancial (im still a long way off and it really does take alot of time and focus, but it really has helped and nothing worth doing comes easy!) also i found doing something creative helps me to express the feelings i cant put into words (for me its cooking and painting) this stops some of the negative thoughts circling my head even if just for a short time.
 

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Thanks for the comments and suggestions, socially inept. The diary is a good idea.

It's strange, I actually was diagnosed with Tourette's and OCD when I was in the 5th grade, but I didn't notice any OCD going along with my social anxiety either until Aleforge suggested it.
you might have ocd but but nobody could judge that by reading your post cos there is absolurely nothing relative to ocd in it, its 100% about social anxiety and avoidance behaviours
 

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So, hi, I'm new here. I know I should start with the introductions forum but I'm kind of desperate for advice.

First off, I haven't been to a therapist yet (can't until end of August, that's when I'll have insurance) and I haven't been diagnosed with SA, but something is definitely wrong with me and I feel like I'm going crazy. I've been reading up on SA and I'm basically 99% sure I have always had it...but it has never been this bad before. I've always been kind of a loner, but I've always had at least one or two close friends. However, last semester I completely ditched all of my friends for no good reason, and for the first time in my life I am completely and totally friendless. I haven't seen anyone outside of my immediate family all summer. Ever since school let out and I haven't had anything academic to concentrate on, anxiety has been building and building and building to the point where I feel like I'm drowning in my own head. It's just a steady drumbeat: "why would I do that? what was I thinking? what must those people think of me? I'm so embarrassed of myself. I can't believe I did that." And on and on and on. I keep thinking of specific moments that happened years ago, that aren't in any way relevant to my life now, and I agonize over them. Then I get paranoid, thinking, "what if so-and-so remembers and what if they tell other people and it follows me forever?" Then I think of things that haven't even happened. Things that technically could happen at some point...but really probably won't. And I get anxious. The worst thing is, I just worry and worry and worry about people talking about me behind my back...even though I've ditched all my friends and haven't hung out with or seen anyone in months, so there's no one who would really be talking about me.

And the lengths I went to to avoid everybody last semester were absolutely mind-boggling. I lived in an apartment with my close friends (the ones I ditched) and in order to avoid them, I would get up at five AM, leave the apartment before they even woke up (hours before my classes), and memorize their schedules so I would know when they would be gone so I could come back to an empty apartment and lock myself in my room for the rest of the night. I would even WALK to my apartment from campus - FOUR MILES - if I was afraid I might have to take a bus with one of my friends. I hoarded food in my room and brought a mini-fridge from home so I wouldn't have to use the kitchen. I would walk to the grocery store early on Saturdays when they were asleep, so I wouldn't have to go with them or see them when I got back. I could go days, even sometimes a whole week, without even seeing my best friends, and we lived together.

Has anyone else had social anxiety sort of come on full-force very suddenly? This is not the first time I've avoided people. In fact, I did the same thing a couple of summers ago when I was working in a dorm over the summer, avoided everyone and hoarded food in my room because they were strangers and it was too stressful getting to know them. But it is the first time I've ever avoided people who were my close friends. And I've never had this crazy anxiety take over every thought all day long. I used to have anxiety sometimes, but never constantly like this. Since I can't go to a therapist for another month, how do I start to deal with this? What can I do on my own? I'm even afraid to go back to school. I'm afraid of stupid things, like that someone in my class will remember something I did two years ago or something. I can't stand living in my own head anymore, and avoiding going back to college is not an option. I have two semesters left before I graduate, my parents have already spent thousands of dollars, and I can't drop out now. What can I do to help myself?

wow, sorry for such a long post...didn't mean to write a novel...
Write a novel.
 
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