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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
In 2012, a long-time friend/acquaintance asked me if we could kiss. I had a crush on him so I said yes. But things got wrong when he wanted sex and even though I asked him to stop, he became violent and forced it on me: he raped me. That was my first and only sexual experience.

It's been two years and today I'm seeing my new boyfriend (and only boyfriend ever!). I am expecting a make-out session with him, BUT what if I get flashbacks and I freeze? I don't want to make him feel bad.

Any tips on what to do in this situation?
 

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First, I am sorry you had to endure that. What if you don't have flashbacks? Expect good things versus bad. You will make things worse by worrying about something that probably won't happen. If you have had flashbacks recently, perhaps, you should see a therapist who can help you overcome such a horrific incident. If you did not press charges, you may be seeking closure and your therapist can help with that. Talk to your new boyfriend about your past experience. Pray to God and as for healing, wisdom, guidance, and protection.
 

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I think you should go ahead with the experiment. If you can't handle it, explain it simply to your boyfriend. If he's not sympathetic, then he's not worth pursuing.
I wouldn't bother with prayer, as the above post suggests - not so much that it doesn't work, but because it focuses your attention continually on the problem for no benefit.
Good luck.
 

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Im so sorry you had to endure such a thing.


Its best to tell your new bf if you haven't already, & talk to therapy Good luck! im sure its normal to receive flashbacks of such trauma though you should be fine after the first hurdle. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Hey thanks everybody!!! I tried to concentrate on this guy and my relationship with him, and I didn't have any flashblacks!

I was expecting I would freeze or something...
 
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