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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey guys. I've actually just moved into university residence since about 2 weeks back. During this time I've found it increasingly tough to deal with the people around me.

First to start off, I thought that on the first day when i move in, I'd be able to meet everyone just like everyone else would meet everyone else for the first time. However, I got delayed and by the time I moved in everyone had familiarized themselves with each other. That led me to believe that I could not socially interact with them. For the last 10 days I've been confined to my room, and only spoke to someone when they asked me a question or just said hi.

But on saturday, a couple of guys came into my room and spoke to me etc. It was nice. I hung out with them later, and went to watch a football game on Sunday. However, I noticed two further problems:

1) Even though I know most of them now, since they were all drunk on Saturday I feel as though they don't really remember all that much about me and so I don't feel comfortable going to their rooms and talking to them. I also feel quite distant and don't know if they've accepted me yet.

2) Whenever I am around them, I don't know what to say. It's kind of like my brain stops processing. I have nothing to say to them or ask them. It's like I run out of ideas, and I don't know why. ALso, even when I am alone and I think of the things I can ask or say to them, I get nothing. I am quite concerned about this because 2 years back I was quite open, friendly and not at all afraid of talking to people. This 'social anxiety' has only developed in the last 2 years due to several personal reasons.

Any help on those two points would be massively appreciated.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Sounds good. However, a new problem has come to be. One of the guys on my floor has moved into my room. I know at first it seems like a blessing in disguise, but then just on the first day, about 5 people (3 of which are female; 1 of whom I "secretly" admire) and none of those 5 people even said hi to me. I was watching a movie on my laptop (facing away from the door) and it's possible that they might've been put off by that.

Also, today I passed 3 ladies in the hall (again, 1 of whom I like). One of them said hi, I said hi back to her, but completely avoided eye contact with the girl I like, who incidentally happened to be standing right next to her. I know this is not me. I used to be a shy guy, but I had grown out of that in high school and in fact, most of my best friends were girls (as many as 3). And I keep telling myself that the next time I see this girl I WILL make eye contact but as soon as she appears I completely look away showing no confidence at all and I do not like it.
 

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About your third problem--try saying hi to people who come in the room. A simple "hey, I'm [name]," is enough invitation for them to talk, or at the very least say hi back. If you have your back to people anytime they come in the room, they won't be very inclined to talk to you, so by saying hi, you'll ease the tension a bit. And don't worry about making friends right away. It took me a few months last year to really make the friends I have now. You have to make at least a little effort, though. Hang in there.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Problem is they know my name already, and nobody comes into my room because they either think I'm:

1. A loner; 2. Shy; or 3.Scared. I want to convince these people that I am not shy but then I ask my self what excuse I can give them for why I havent been open with them since the start.
 
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