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Hello everyone.

I'm a 25 year old guy from sunny England. I live on my own and since graduating from university work as a pharmaceutical research scientist (which means I get to wear those sexy white lab coats all day).

I found this site a week or so ago and having done my standard forum trick of lurking around, reading threads and getting a feel for the place, I thought I'd do the honourable thing and say 'hi'.

I'm still attempting to figure out what exactly I might 'be'; avoidant, SAD, schizoid or some random mixture.

I have always been a very shy person and I don't think it has waned as I've grown up. There are still times where I end up effectively mute in the presence of someone else who I don't know - maybe eking out a quiet 'yes' or 'no' or just going straight for the headnod/shake. Fortunately this doesn't happen too often but in most situations I almost invariably go for the most succinct response I can give and if I can get away with it, straight to a headnod/shake. I've been referred to as arrogant and aloof several times which I guess externally I do appear to be so; internally not, however.

I have and still do find making friends very difficult. The two people who I still remain in contact with from school I meet maybe once a year (one is a very much introverted chap like myself who I've know since I was 4) with an occasional email in-between meets. I haven't actually spoken with anyone from university since I left - I had a couple of friends but the relationships were far from close. At work there is one person with whom I'm fairly close with but it took 18months+ before I was 'comfortable' and let myself relax to some extent around him.

I'm quite unsurprisingly very much an introvert. I love being by myself - reading, surfing the internet, watching tv, listening to music, cooking and so on. I don't get particularly lonely - whether this is because I've never had a proper relationship with anyone (not just the boy/girlfriend type relationship) so I don't know what I'm missing, or that I'm suppressing it or that simply I'm just not lonely - who knows! I was actually slightly aggrieved when my parents and sister visited (with warning, they know better than to surprise visit) just after my birthday, I'd planned for a nice quiet weekend on my own!

I've never spoken to, or seen anyone about this and unless things get particularly worse I almost certainly won't - if things remain at the current status quo that'll be fine with me. Naturally, if things start looking more positive, I won't be moaning!

So yes, there we go, a brief(ish) introduction to myself. I could add more but I won't at the moment.

A.
 

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Hey akdov welcome. :)
 

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Hey, welcome to the forum. It's nice to see another English person :yes
 

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Hi akdov,

Glad to see you're making a success of your life. I know how SA can stop you having the life you could have, so i'm pleased that you've not let it stop your career (it did me - i've a first class degree in accounting & finance, but never felt able to use it. I've somehow ended up running a small department in a factory).

If you're happy being alone, that is great. Some people are natural introverts and can be very happy in their own company. Just make sure you truly are happy as I thought I was a happy introvert for years, but when I hit 30 I realised I was an extrovert stuck in an introvert's body, and that i'd been hiding from life for the last 10 years. I want friends, and want to do things, but have always stopped myself from being the person I now know I should have been.

Sunny England? One week a year, perhaps ;)

Take care,

Steve
 

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:wel
 

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Welcome, Akdov! :)
 
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