Hi everyone! My name is Robert and I live in Mississippi. I have many friends but few I consider TRUE friends. I don't really knwo what's wrong with me. Maybe nothing...who knows? I have this problem with meeting people and not ever having anything to say after the initial smalltalk. Even now...just typing is hard to do...I battle with myself on everything. I live in my head as far as I'm concerned. I often want to just be quiet than say anything at all due to fear of what may be said after or what the other may think. I'm currently in the process to attend online courses since I didn't much care for campus life. I find I'm all over the place, in my head, of course. I'm anxious cause i'm anxious. Stressed for no job and money but yet I can't stand to go look for a job simply because I find it's done me no good. The only jobs i've had are simply because I knew someone to help me get the job, basically a friend's or a relative's recommendation. I've dealt with depression and anxiety since a very young age, about 8 yrs old. Maybe it's cliche but I find it has a lot to do with my parents divorcing when I was young. That seemed to be when it all started. I always wanted to live with my mom but couldn't since she was addicted to some/any drug and still is 11 years later and I fear myself falling down the same road because I live with her now and it's all so easily accessible even free sometimes. I know I have to move away from this but I really can't, it's not that simple an option being that I have nowhere else to go. I want to talk to a therapist but I don't believe in them. I think their bull****ters out to get one's dollar just like the rest of em. They diagnose one and tell them there's something wrong with them and I/you/whoever believes the **** and goes and fills the scrips. I just need someone to talk to or listen, not diagnose me. I can diagnose myself with Social anxiety, depression, and insomnia. I guess life is supposed to be difficult but damn! I dunno...I guess that's me, but then again I don't really know who I am at age 20. Is it like a coming-of-age crisis? ****in aggravating. But anyways Hi!