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I'm really happy I found this forum and can now share or relate some of my experiences with you. Let me start by saying... My name is Mark; I'm 18 years old in my last year of High School and living in California. I've grown up in a big family: Christian, social, and friendly. I've been diagnosed with SAD, essential tremor, and severe depression. In counting I've been to three therapist so far, although one was just for evaluation whether or not I should take antidepressants.

The therapist who evaluated me said that he recommended I take Prozac, so I've been doing that for a month now with no change. Haven't felt less anxiety, feel all the depression and anxiety still hitting me hard. I know it's only supposed to relieve symptoms and not completely change your mind set, but It's not doing anything.

There is so much to talk about, but I know it would be way to long of a post so I'm just going to keep it short. Never had a girlfriend, in Independent Studies now because the anxiety from situations in High School were too hard to deal with (I'll explain later...), and had some friends.

This SAD is really constricting my life; I feel like I've already wasted at least 4 years of my life doing nothing. Recently, I got the courage to tell my parents I've had suicidal thoughts for over a year now... I just could never tell them before because I was scared of their reaction and so forth. They seemed to handle it fine and comforted me more and also seemed like they were going to take a more aggressive approach in getting me through this.

I don't feel like any therapy has helped me because in my own view none of that is what I would do. Also, every time I try to express what I'm feeling to my therapist or parents, it seems like I can never say everything because of lack of communication skills, nervous, and anxiety. SAD has affected my family relationships, friends, school, and overall progress in life. It's really a bummer knowing that I have to deal with this now. It's almost like I observe people's faces to see what they're thinking about me or of their overall attitude when talking or 'hanging' out with me.

The only time I feel comfortable is when I'm alone in my room on the computer. Another thing to note is the only thing that keeps me happy in life right now is an african bullfrog I picked up about 2 months ago. This guy brings me a lot of joy, but also a lot of stress since I'm still new to the frog hobby.

Thanks for reading and replying if you do.

P.S. I could talk about so much more, this is probably 5% of it.
 

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Hey Mark, welcome to :sas
 

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Mark, you say you lack communications skills. You wrote something and it was perfectly clear what you were trying to say. You were honest and open and all the people I know who cannot communicate are the ones who are are not open. (OK so that includes me). So maybe we're afraid to communicate? Does that make sense. Yes it's easier here, I know.
 

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Hey there, welcome to the forums. I'm new here, too, but I just wanted to say you should stick with your antidepressants. I'm on citalopram right now, and it took maybe two months or more for me to notice an improvement in my mood. Don't worry, it'll get better.

I'm glad you decided to find treatment and help, and I hope it goes well for you.
 

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Welcome, IHateSAD! :)
 
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