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481 Views 9 Replies 7 Participants Last post by  Visible

I'd like to introduce myself. I have never posted on the site but for the last month, am here at least once a day because so many of the issues that come up resonate with the ones I face. I also have a specific problem and it would really help to know what people here think.

I am 33, single and live at home with my mother. SA began at the age of 17 because of social problems at boarding school, my parents' divorce and other issues. I also never completed grad school because of all this. I have no friends and only meet professional acquaintances at work.

Currently I work as an editor at a childrens' book publishing firm. I got this job after a break of 7 months. Although I have had SA related problems in my workplace, work had been pretty regular until this break.

Ever since last month, the anxiety became really difficult to manage and I worked on the meditation, self-help books, thankfully landed a job, and joined a meet-up group in my neighbourhood. (First meet-up this Wednesday. Major anxiety.).

This is my specific problem:
Yesterday, I felt like looking up an old acquaintance from grad school on the web. He was only someone I ran into on and off campus a few times but considering how I felt as a student in New York, it was more than I had with most.

Although he asked for my number on one such occasion, I don't know if he ever did get in touch. This is because I left New York soon after. I was in hospital (and at the end of a relationship I was already in.) It had been 5 years more or less alone there and it just wasn't working. I quit my temporary job and came home.

From the profile of this person, I gathered that he is moving next month to my part of the world: same city (and country) for a year. Am not sure whether I should get in touch with him.

1) The gap: he is a successful author in New York. (he was trying to get published when I met him). I have described myself.

2) Don't really know him. Has been 3 and 1/2 years since I dropped out of school.

3) He already has many friends here.

What would you do?

Thanks for listening- apologies for the length of this post.
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Hi, welcome to the site :)

1) The gap: he is a successful author in New York. (he was trying to get published when I met him). I have described myself.
You're a children's book editor. Where's the gap??

2) Don't really know him. Has been 3 and 1/2 years since I dropped out of school.
He asked for your number. He'll remember you. :)

3) He already has many friends here.
Eh, a lot of people have what they would call "many friends". How many of them are quality relationships? You never know what can happen if you meet up. You could wind up really clicking. If that happens, it's not going to matter how many friends he has. He'd make room for you.

apologies for the length of this post.
OK, just don't let it happen again!!!

Hi Just Lurking :)

Thanks for your replies. Have to admit that I was really (and predictably) unnerved but tx for putting this into perspective for me. I had no idea that writing all that down was going to make my hands shake and make me cry but am much better now. This I know is because of you:)

So, all my thank you's Just Lurking. Do hope to talk to you again :)
Hey Visible. Thanks for sharing with us.

I agree with Just Lurking. I add that if your rendezvous goes well, I'd wait not too long to let him know that you have some SA challenges. I think that's very important so knows how to a proper friend.

I've come to the conclusion in past year or so that those of us who are a bit sensitive, with SA or whatever associated challenges, should realize our sensitivity as a potential gift to those who can accept it that way. We need to seek those people out in our lives and help the world be a more sensitive place.
This site is a good place to start.
Very best to you.
Street Owl
Hey Visible welcome. :hyper
Hi Toad Licker,

Thanks for the note and all best to you!

Take care,

welcome :)

I would jsut send a message and see what happens. There really isn't that much that could happen. He may want a semi-familiar face when he is in town

Welcome to the forum! :)
Hi Visible, welcome to the forums!

I would suggest sending him a note, just to test the waters with how you stand with your grad school friend. If you decide to do it, let us know how it goes!

Will do so gilt-and thanks. It seems like a good opportunity for me to overcome a challenge more than anything else at this point.

Take care.
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