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Hi everyone Cameron here,

I need to share something today, my feelings for most part of the day if not all day, everyday, week in week out, month in month out year in year out, ever since I can remember

I'm always angry
I distance my self from people
Im constantly thinking about how others see me
I can't relax
Everything is so difficult
Why me !!!
Always Overanalyse everything
Feel Worthless everyone's better

That's just a snapshot of what's going on inside, my face and body language speak a thousand words yet I can't stop any of the above

Haven't had a girlfriend friend or steady relationship since my teen years I'm now in my early 30s my god how can I make any one happy when I have all this going on.

Every one else around me are pretty much settled down now with young family's, enjoying there lifes yet I'm still here on my own WHY, what have I done to deserve this I'm not a bad person

All I ever wanted was to be happy, yet rite now all I'm thinking of is the best way to end this, would seem fitting to go out on my birthday


Why me all my siblings are happy enjoying their life's & that's a fact, and for me I have been sentenced to a life of misery
 

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Oh, Cam5, I'm sooooo sorry you're feeling so low. I know how that is. I've been there. I've been hospitalized a few times for crushing depression. I never really wanted to kill myself but I definitely did not want to live. (If that makes sense.) First, is there anything that happened in your life that was traumatic that maybe caused you to start having negative thoughts about yourself? Were you sent negative messages growing up from parents, teachers, peers? <I'm not expecting you to answer these publicly, but obviously you can if you want. I just want you to analyze these things.> Secondly, have you sought treatment through either therapy or medication? Both of those can have a tremendously positive impact on your situation. You deserve to be happy just as much as anyone and you need to KNOW that. You, also, are not to BLAME for the fact that you don't feel happy. It's usually either a product of our environment or our physiological composition. Thanks for coming here and good luck!
 

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Welcome Cameron

Just thought I'd say hello and say I totally know how you feel. Your post mirrors my life exactly but you're definitely not worthless and probably just an extremely introspective sensitive person. I can't really offer you any positive advice as that would be like the blind leading the blind but I will say 'ending it all' is not a good option no matter how dark a place your head is in. Think of what that action would do to those that have unconditional love for you (your family). You never know what's round the corner unless you keep going...maybe your own personal idea of nirvana. Anyway welcome and I hope you find what you're looking for and joining this forum could be the first step. Chin up mate cos the grass isn't always greener on the other side.
 

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Welcome, Cam5! :)
 
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