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Hi all. I'm 33, female and have always had major anxiety problems. I have no idea why they started. I can only guess. When I was little everyone just said I was shy. I believed them. As I got older I started asking questions like why does my stomach hurt all the time, was that normal. And as I entered my teens I first heard the word anxiety from a psychiatrist. It all started to make sense. It didn't fix anything though.

I know I'm not shy. In a one on one situation I'm usually very talkative, and bubbly and blunt and outgoing. I tend to switch back and forth in public from just dissociating from all that is around me and living in a little bubble, not talking to anyone, etc. To the opposite, like overly going out of my way to hide my anxiety by talking to people and smiling at people even if I don't always feel like it and am a nervous wreck about it. Either way I feel disconnected from the situation. I have depersonalization disorder among other problems. Probably due to the anxiety.

I rarely feel comfortable leaving my home. I know it isn't logical, but I feel like the world looks down on me and every time I step out the door, I feel like everyone is judging me, thinking bad thoughts of me...For some reason it gets to me like nothing else. I know it shouldn't, I tell myself hey they're not better than I am. But for some reason something in me refuses to believe it.

Anyway, I could use some friends who understand at least some of what I go through. Feel free to contact me personally and/or reply if you feel like it.
 

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Hey jaysshadows :wels
 

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Welcome, JaysShadows! :)
 
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