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Hi. I'm Alexis, 28 years old and an aspiring author who still hasn't obtained even a learner's permit, let alone a driver's license. I believe I've always had mild social anxiety and I was bullied in elementary & middle school. I grew up in an alcoholic (young) parented household and I'm the oldest of five kids. I was attacked on the bus at age 14 and then, in a separate set of incidents, was sexually harassed thrice by the same pervert at age 20 (also on the city bus)

Ever since then my social anxiety has been worse and I was terrified to go to work for years, but I had to so I would carry pepper spray and pray . I'd rarely go anywhere else if I could help it and I began having panic attacks. Then I lost my job like so many others in this economy which made it too easy to avoid social interaction.
Finally I got a job and it is good that I have because it is "family" environment with mostly friendly people and It makes it easier to make myself get through my "bad days" and moments. I know I have to get out and not let the anxiety control me.
I started out doing coffee, but After awhile being alone and having to serve and mingle with all those grouchy,demanding people was too much for me and I was having frequent panic attacks. It seemed like the more I sped up the more they demanded and I'm a fast worker, co-workers comment on that, so it was an under-staffing issue too.luckily we got a new boss, she understood and switched me to baking the sub rolls where you get to stay in back most of the day. I love it and it's perfect because I still get a lot of social interaction, but I'm not eft alone on the line to flounder anymore since I'm not the coffee girl anymore and thankfully she now has a bit more help too; that is one tough gig.
I usually consume 1-2 cups of 3/4 decaf and 1/4 caffeinated coffee a day. I just had the worst panic attack ever at work and had to be taken out by ambulance despite my embarrassment. After not having coffee for two days (per er advice- no more caffeinated coffee) I now think I was using that to self-medicate the social anxiety because Coffee really affects me and speeds me up so I work like crazy and don't have time to dwell on the negative thoughts.
Now I'm not allowed to have my caffeinated friend and I don't want to take antidepressants because they are addicting and disturb your emotions and sex drive. I have a follow-up appointment soon and I'm wondering what to do next? I have a bad habit of not being assertive enough with the doctors so despite the many I've asked about this in the past, I've never gotten solid answers.
Feeling better now, but ready to confront this instead of keep on avoiding it.:idea
,
 

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Welcome to SAS Alexis!
 

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Welcome, MoonSpirit! :)
 

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Hey Alexis, welcome to :sas
 
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