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25 Posts
Hello Everyone - a Not So Brief Introduction
Hello Everyone! Just wanted to introduce myself. I am a 26 year old guy from New York, and I have been living with Social Anxiety for most of my life, but I have only known about this condition for a few years. It is a bit relieving knowing that there are others who can understand it. My hope is that we people with this disorder can help each other out a bit just by communicating. I will be sharing my experiences as well reading what everyone else has to share as well and perhaps we can all learn something.
Social Anxiety (and the depression that came with it) has caused me to underachieve in every aspect of my life. I graduated from college a couple of years later than others my age normally do, because I had trouble concentrating which caused my grades to drop too low and I had to take more courses to get to the minimum GPA. I had gone away to college and lived completely alone, staying in my apartment pretty much all the time, talked to no one, and went out of my way to avoid people as much as possible. I often went weeks literally without using my voice at all. I would often drink myself to sleep. What should have been the best time of my life ended up being the most depressing low point in my life.
When I first learned of Social Anxiety, I went to a psych and was diagnosed, however I felt he was very condescending, and did little more than try to push meds. When I suggested I wanted to try CBT without meds, he still tried to push pills. He didn't seem interested and eventually our sessions became awkward silences and I stopped going, because I just started feeling worse afterwards. It's not that I am totally against any kind of meds, it's that I want to try CBT without them first.
Things haven't improved much since then. I have no social life, no friends, and no romantic experience to speak of. I am overweight because I am too depressed to stick with any exercise and diet regimen for an adequate period of time. I am now in quite a bit of debt, and have trouble getting employment too. I am still living at home with my mom. All of this is just making me worse, because I feel absolutely worthless in front of others.
I have some actuarial exams passed so I am qualified to work at an insurance company as an actuary. I try getting a job all the time but nothing has been working out for me. After the typical applying and resume sending process brought no results, I began cold emailing and even calling actuarial managers at companies I could work at, but of course I sound very nervous and hesitant on the phone and have trouble coming up with the words, and so this hasn't given me results either. I try so hard to hide my anxiety. Eventually I tried to get pretty much any job, such as bank teller, but I really am having trouble getting anything right now (part of it might be the economy, but social anxiety does no wonders for interview skills either).
My goal, much like that of most of the people on this site, is to overcome Social Anxiety and finally live the life I want. I want to get a job and become an independent person, to have a bit of a social life, and to have a healthy lifestyle. Social Anxiety prevents me from achieving these things, and I just want to overcome it. It is such a frustrating thing. The years just keep passing by and being wasted; anything I want to accomplish I just have been unable to.
Hello Everyone! Just wanted to introduce myself. I am a 26 year old guy from New York, and I have been living with Social Anxiety for most of my life, but I have only known about this condition for a few years. It is a bit relieving knowing that there are others who can understand it. My hope is that we people with this disorder can help each other out a bit just by communicating. I will be sharing my experiences as well reading what everyone else has to share as well and perhaps we can all learn something.
Social Anxiety (and the depression that came with it) has caused me to underachieve in every aspect of my life. I graduated from college a couple of years later than others my age normally do, because I had trouble concentrating which caused my grades to drop too low and I had to take more courses to get to the minimum GPA. I had gone away to college and lived completely alone, staying in my apartment pretty much all the time, talked to no one, and went out of my way to avoid people as much as possible. I often went weeks literally without using my voice at all. I would often drink myself to sleep. What should have been the best time of my life ended up being the most depressing low point in my life.
When I first learned of Social Anxiety, I went to a psych and was diagnosed, however I felt he was very condescending, and did little more than try to push meds. When I suggested I wanted to try CBT without meds, he still tried to push pills. He didn't seem interested and eventually our sessions became awkward silences and I stopped going, because I just started feeling worse afterwards. It's not that I am totally against any kind of meds, it's that I want to try CBT without them first.
Things haven't improved much since then. I have no social life, no friends, and no romantic experience to speak of. I am overweight because I am too depressed to stick with any exercise and diet regimen for an adequate period of time. I am now in quite a bit of debt, and have trouble getting employment too. I am still living at home with my mom. All of this is just making me worse, because I feel absolutely worthless in front of others.
I have some actuarial exams passed so I am qualified to work at an insurance company as an actuary. I try getting a job all the time but nothing has been working out for me. After the typical applying and resume sending process brought no results, I began cold emailing and even calling actuarial managers at companies I could work at, but of course I sound very nervous and hesitant on the phone and have trouble coming up with the words, and so this hasn't given me results either. I try so hard to hide my anxiety. Eventually I tried to get pretty much any job, such as bank teller, but I really am having trouble getting anything right now (part of it might be the economy, but social anxiety does no wonders for interview skills either).
My goal, much like that of most of the people on this site, is to overcome Social Anxiety and finally live the life I want. I want to get a job and become an independent person, to have a bit of a social life, and to have a healthy lifestyle. Social Anxiety prevents me from achieving these things, and I just want to overcome it. It is such a frustrating thing. The years just keep passing by and being wasted; anything I want to accomplish I just have been unable to.
