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Hello hello. Well, where to begin? Brace yourselves, this will be a bit of a rant. I’m 18 years old, female, living on the east coast of USA. I’ve suffered from SA most of my life, but I wasn’t really normal enough to care until about 3 years ago, when I realized that I wanted friends and to go to parties and be normal and whatnot. Since then my life has been a series of embarrassments, awkwardness, self-sabotage and disappointments.

I’ve been a long-time lurker on this site and I finally decided to join because, quite simply, my support network is nonexistent. My friends are all idiots who only want anything to do with me if I can add immediately to their own enjoyment, and my relationship with my family is not conducive to supportive, meaningful discussions.

One of my main problems is that my friends are mostly self-interested (and frankly boring) people who know that I need them more than they need me. But they’re the only ones I’ve got, because that’s sort of how high school is: you find your group and you stick to it. Even as I write, they’re all at my community’s annual festival thing without me. They knew I wanted to go, they left without me. Unfortunately, I don’t know whether there’s something about me that leads them to exclude me, or they’re all just a******s.

My second main problem is my tendency to sabotage my chances of getting what I want. For example, I was invited to a college party tonight, but I’m not even going to call my friend to get the details because she’s very sensitive to “downers” and I don’t want to come off as desperate to go—even though I don’t really want to go (I just want to force myself to). She’s so far the most interesting friend I’ve got, and I don’t want to drive her away. I put too much thought into everything I do.

And just seconds ago, I had a huge fight with my “best” a****** friend, and now she’s mad at me and me her. Why am I even friends with these people? Oh, that’s right, because they’re my only option.

Anyway, thanks for reading this far. Please feel free to introduce yourself, and tell me whether or not anyone has experienced these same problems—mostly, the extreme frustration of being on the verge of curing your own social anxiety but not being able to find that final step! Not to mention the pain of being stuck with friends who treat you like dirt for no apparent reason. I could use some reliable friends right about now.
 

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Maybe your friends can tell that you don't like them very much, so they treat you like you think you are better then them. Or are you just saying that because you're mad right now?

If you really think you are better then them, then you should have no problem finding better friends.
 

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Hey snox, welcome to :sas
 

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:wel
 

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Welcome, Snox! :)
 
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