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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi everyone,
I don't have any kind of diagnosis. I'm a --get this -- psychology professor by trade (not the counseling side of psychology, more the research/cognition side of psychology). I'd say my feet are planted pretty firmly on the ground most of the time but when it comes to interactions with other people, sigh...

Good interactions make me feel like I'm on top of the world. Bad interactions-- I will stress about those for weeks. I think about what I should have said. I think about what I did say. I re-read e-mails and text messages. I revisit my own feelings about the interaction.

I've had issues facing conflict with others since I was a little girl. If my parents caught me doing something bad, I would shake. As I got older, I started to notice that I couldn't handle being around people I had conflict with -- whether it was an ex-boyfriend, ex-friend, or someone I simply didn't like. It increases my heart rate and makes me weak. My finger muscles stop working. I -- again -- stress for weeks.

I'm actually okay talking in front of my classes. Other crowds, not so much. I worry I won't be able to give presentations to groups of my peers because of anxiety, or that my anxiety will get so much worse that I eventually won't be able to teach my classes.

Lately I've been having problems with neighbors. They are inconsiderate. Not the worst neighbors a person could have by far, but they do things that aren't very respectful (like let their dog -- a german shephard/chow chow mix -- loose any time they like, and it jumps in our yard). I have a list of general annoying things they do but the worst is the fact that their teenage kids are just so absolutely rude to me and my husband. I would really like to not care. I'd really like to write it off. On paper, it seems straightforward. In my head, it feels like the end of the world. It's made me less comfortable in my house. Why do I, an accomplished, funny, kind person, let a 16 year-old girl and 14 year-old boy make me feel like I'm 8 again, on the playground, getting laughed and pointed at? It makes no sense.

I feel like I need to get a grip on this. I feel like, if I don't, the anxiety will put me in an early grave.

Thanks for letting me open up here, to anyone who reads. I appreciate it.

-J
 

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Hey jorosned, I just joined today and I wanted to say Welcome. Also, I've realized in reading some of these posts that I find myself in a lot of what others are describing. I too, hate conflict and find myself obsessing over bad experiences or interactions with others. I feel like I waste so much time thinking how it "could have gone" or what I "could have said". It's really so annoying.

And I sometimes find that when others are disrespectful of me, it really gets to me. I think my coping thing is trying to keep myself busy and just thinking that I handled the situation as best as I could. Deep down we don't want to hurt anyone or be hurt but unfortunately that is bound to happen sometime.

Good luck on here and see ya around!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hi Alucard, thanks. I've only just had a chance to poke around but got the idea to join after doing a search online and finding a post that really resonated with me. I think people in my real world are sick of hearing me ruminate, and that's creating this positive feedback loop type thing whereby I worry I will alienate people close to me by constantly talking about my irrational thoughts, and that anxiety compels me to talk to people even more. Hopefully this will be a nice resting place for my irrational thoughts and the cycle will be broken.
 

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Omg yes, here too. I voice my anxieties/thoughts but fear that its causing people to avoid me. It makes me think 'wow, I wouldn't want to hear this' and that just causes me more stress. I am hopeful I can offset some of that by chatting here as well. If you ever want to PM me, feel free.
 

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Welcome, Jorosned! :)
 
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