[Ivan AG]

I've stared a CBT course on the NHS program in the last month and I've had a official SAD and GAD diagnosis during the two assessment session I attended.

The actual therapy sessions started last week and I just had my second one earlier this morning. They're short 1 hour sessions and I do feel a bit rushed while in there because there's so much I want to share and say but so little time to do it in. I try to keep little notes to help guide the session in a direction I want.


Anyhow, my main problem is that I feel deeply ashamed about sharing my main problem area in life. Relationships. I have always felt very uneasy talking about intimacy and romance in general. It's a sort of taboo topic for me. I used to go bright red when someone mentioned getting a girlfriend to me years ago. It's currently made much worse by the fact that my therapist is female. She asked me at the end of both sessions "So Ivan, what is your MAIN goal at the end of our sessions? What do you really want to achieve?".

I asked her to give me some examples and she mentioned relationships, getting a girlfriend/boyfriend/wife, etc. as some goals that some other patients had in the therapy had made.

I don't even know how to phrase my goal in words. I mean what am I supposed to say? "Oh yeah, I would like to get a girlfriend?". It sounds so naive and stupid in my own mind. My therapist sees that I'm withholding information from her and I've told her I feel very uncomfortable sharing this.


I'm really confused right now as to whether I should ask to get a male therapist to discuss these issues with or just disclose this information with my current one. I don't want to offend my current therapist by asking to get her replaced either so I'm in a difficult spot.

 

[plumblossom1]

Heya Ivan AG. I think its awesome that you're in a CBT program. I'm trying to find one now and its proving to be difficult. I have generalized SAD and I really really need CBT.
A couple months ago I was seeing a therapist, male, who was super super attractive and I just couldn't concentrate in session. I didn't want him to see all my problems, all my weaknesses. I wanted him to find me....well, attractive too. LOL. (plus attractive men make me anxious) In the end I decided to get a female therapist. I realized that the therapy sessions were for ME not for HIM and if they were really stressing me out - which they were - why should I continue them? They weren't helping my anxiety. Additionally, clients (such as you and I) change therapists all the time. Therapists are use to it. It doesn't hurt their feelings. They know it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with us. ANYWAY.....that is my experience. Hope it helps

 

[Ivan AG]

I agree with you.

Witholding the whole story can only interfere with the therapist's understanding of the issue. I think the best decision is probably to call the center and arrange to be seen by another therapist.

It's going to be SO damn difficult trying to explain why I want to get my therapist switched but it has to be done I guess.

I can't see myself talking about relationships with a female therapist. That would be beyond embarassing for me.

 

[plumblossom1]

"It's going to be SO damn difficult trying to explain why I want to get my therapist switched but it has to be done I guess."
When I asked the secretary to change therapists, she (the secretary/receptionist), did not ask why. I think the staff are trained not too. Plus, they are probably not very interested.
"I can't see myself talking about relationships with a female therapist. That would be beyond embarassing for me."
Yeah. I totally agree with you there. I don't think I could talk about relationship issues with a male therapist. I think most people are like this.

 

[Moment of Clarity]

I realized that the therapy sessions were for ME

This. If you think these sessions can help you then make the switch and discuss what you're there for.