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I've stared a CBT course on the NHS program in the last month and I've had a official SAD and GAD diagnosis during the two assessment session I attended.
The actual therapy sessions started last week and I just had my second one earlier this morning. They're short 1 hour sessions and I do feel a bit rushed while in there because there's so much I want to share and say but so little time to do it in. I try to keep little notes to help guide the session in a direction I want.
Anyhow, my main problem is that I feel deeply ashamed about sharing my main problem area in life. Relationships. I have always felt very uneasy talking about intimacy and romance in general. It's a sort of taboo topic for me. I used to go bright red when someone mentioned getting a girlfriend to me years ago. It's currently made much worse by the fact that my therapist is female. She asked me at the end of both sessions "So Ivan, what is your MAIN goal at the end of our sessions? What do you really want to achieve?".
I asked her to give me some examples and she mentioned relationships, getting a girlfriend/boyfriend/wife, etc. as some goals that some other patients had in the therapy had made.
I don't even know how to phrase my goal in words. I mean what am I supposed to say? "Oh yeah, I would like to get a girlfriend?". It sounds so naive and stupid in my own mind. My therapist sees that I'm withholding information from her and I've told her I feel very uncomfortable sharing this.
I'm really confused right now as to whether I should ask to get a male therapist to discuss these issues with or just disclose this information with my current one. I don't want to offend my current therapist by asking to get her replaced either so I'm in a difficult spot.
The actual therapy sessions started last week and I just had my second one earlier this morning. They're short 1 hour sessions and I do feel a bit rushed while in there because there's so much I want to share and say but so little time to do it in. I try to keep little notes to help guide the session in a direction I want.
Anyhow, my main problem is that I feel deeply ashamed about sharing my main problem area in life. Relationships. I have always felt very uneasy talking about intimacy and romance in general. It's a sort of taboo topic for me. I used to go bright red when someone mentioned getting a girlfriend to me years ago. It's currently made much worse by the fact that my therapist is female. She asked me at the end of both sessions "So Ivan, what is your MAIN goal at the end of our sessions? What do you really want to achieve?".
I asked her to give me some examples and she mentioned relationships, getting a girlfriend/boyfriend/wife, etc. as some goals that some other patients had in the therapy had made.
I don't even know how to phrase my goal in words. I mean what am I supposed to say? "Oh yeah, I would like to get a girlfriend?". It sounds so naive and stupid in my own mind. My therapist sees that I'm withholding information from her and I've told her I feel very uncomfortable sharing this.
I'm really confused right now as to whether I should ask to get a male therapist to discuss these issues with or just disclose this information with my current one. I don't want to offend my current therapist by asking to get her replaced either so I'm in a difficult spot.