[NicoShy]

.

.

 

[contranigma]

You could join clubs or groups to make friends. Do you live far from home or are you estranged from your family? At least you have a boyfriend. So you aren't totally lonely, right?

 

[Moon Fire]

Many girls have bf's or husbands that go out with their friends. It's quite normal but it doesn't feel nice for being on your own. Have you tried asking him to take you out?

 

[shychick2]

I do get very lonely and feel abandoned. At night I don't feel I can go out and do something so stay in. I only tend to do things just the 2 of us or go with him to social things. I keep trying to tell myself he would probably want a girlfriend who allowed him to go out without being too clingy and try to let go. I did have a friend with kids who lived locally and could often see her if on my own, but she's moved abroad. I sometimes plan by going out to the gym to fill some of the time so I'm not sat waiting. I've given him a lift back once or twice which he appreciated.

 

[STKinTHEmud]

Funny. I have the opposite problem. I don't have a gf, but I go out with friends and family fairly often. But when they go spent time with their significant others, I always feel abandoned and lonely. I suppose the grass is always greener.

 

[Some Russian Guy]

Anyone else feel insecure and lonely when your mate hangs out with their family or friends? My Bf has family and friends in the area and I attend events sometimes but when he goes out with them and I am left at home I feel abandoned. I feel inadequate and ashamed alot because of it. I thought today why do I feel so empty inside and how do I fix it. I wondered if I could develop a spiritual relationship but I feel phoney trying to go to God right now, knowing I am bitter about my existence.

at least you have a significant other

...unlike me

 

[mooncake]

My boyfriend is quite social but I, on the other hand, have absolutely no friends of my own. I don't feel insecure when he hangs out with them but getting with him has actually made me realise just how much I'd like to have friends myself to get together with once in a while. It seems to double the loneliness I feel when he talks about friends of his, or when he goes home and I think about how little social contact I have apart from him.

He knows that I'm not a very social person but he has no idea of my actual situation. On the one hand I feel I should be grateful that he includes me in get togethers with people he knows, but at the same time it's terrifying for me to meet so many new people at once (just today for instance, he tells me that he's arranged for us to meet up with 3 of his friends and their girlfriends... great). He's also suggested that I bring a friend of mine along with us one day to go and meet another of his friends... a bit hard to do when I have absolutely no-one to ask. :no

I'm usually a very honest person but telling someone that I have zero friends is just something I don't want to do. It's almost as if I pretend that I know people, the problem isn't really as bad as it is. I convince myself that soon enough I will have friends, but so far I'm still completely friendless... I just hope I'm able to make some once I'm at uni, otherwise my lack of them won't be so easy to hide.

 

[xyzhousexyz]

I know how you feel, not to have friends, but my case is different in that me nore my significant other have much other friends we hang out with we spend all our time together mostly. Sometimes I wish we both had more of a social life outside of each other. Being the only one each other sees seems sorts of unhealthy. oh yeah i do have a few friends but i've been avoiding them latley for some reason im not aware.

 

[TaniaN]

My fiance is very social and obviously I'm not. I have a lot of guilt about this and feel like I'm holding him back a lot. That isn't entirely the case though since he just moved to NYC a year ago so he's had to start over here and doesn't have friends he hangs out with. He has made friends at work but doesn't hang out with them outside of work. Sometimes he's claimed to not have accepted invitations because he knows I would be uncomfortable but I don't know. I just get he wishes I had my own set of friends already so we could just have people to hang out with. Luckily for the most part he is a big homebody and is content spending insane amounts of time on the Xbox (grrr lol). I worry this will hurt our relationship in the long haul and so recently I told myself to accept the first invitation....haven't had one I could include my fiance in though :sigh

Having a significant other doesn't solve all problems, sometimes it creates more in regards to SA.

 

[mrfixit]

you need to take a journey and find yourself

 

[NicoShy]

Mr fix it, I have tried many journeys but nothing sinks in. It very unhealthy not to have friends and only have a bf. So should I just quit the bf until I have friends? Then I'll have no one. Not working leaves me little contact with others. I guess I could go to group events but how does tha work when you have social anxiety :sus

 

[mrfixit]

you need to find a hobby. maybe start working out, some type of sport, something that will challenge your body and mind.

regarding your relationship - one thing you can do with him is work out a schedule for the both of you to go out. it could be on friday (or any other day) nights, each time going to a different place. e.g. the beach, movies. one day going where he likes to go the next time where you would like to go. or stay home and watch movies together.

 

[crome]

From my perspective, that's not a problem... I know plenty of non-SA'ers who don't really have 'friends'. Stop looking for quantity and start looking for quality.