I didn't know until 2 or 3 years ago. First I found out that I am an introvert and many people are like that. Soon, my so called shyness was social anxiety. To me, being shy was blushing when people talked to me. I'm not shy. i like to talk, just with the people I like and know I can get along with. Its weird. I can't talk to a fellow mother, who is also working hard, has goals in life, and likes to laugh a lot,..... just no connection. No offense, but more annoying than fun (introvert status). But a dude in his 50s, who cusses like a sailor/veteran, and tells me about the sh*t he use to do as a kid... I love talking with him lol.
I really did think I was the only person who just didn't talk much. I'm not stuck up, I just don't want to keep talking and talking and talking. Gets boring and tiring. I don't care what people did on their weekend, and I don't care to tell anyone my weekend. But get me on a subject I love, we can talk all day lol.
With my social anxiety, I can talk straight forward in a meeting of 4 people at most. if it becomes 5 or more people, i can't talk out loud. I'm too embarrassed. mostly, I try to speak but then someone else butts in and takes over my conversation. I hate that so much! So, F it. I did try talking louder, but my vocal cords just shut off at a certain volume. it's like I'm on mute when I try to talk louder in a crowded room.
mainly, I stay away from social things because I convince myself that I'm going to do something stupid, I'm going to be expected to talk to any stranger, I'm going to say something awkward, etc. It's funny because my husband is the total opposite of me. He can get along with anyone. So sometime I just let him do the talking and intros lol And then it takes a turn when it comes to official things that I take over the talking, such as talking to a real estate agent for a house, talking with the bank for a loan, or to the apartment manager for a lease. Somehow for some reason, i CAN do that kind of talking. Just not the "normal" social stuff like everyone else.