Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 17 of 17 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
150 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Was there a time when you didn’t know that you had social anxiety?? For me, I feel like I’ve only recently figured it out because it’s so normal to me. And throughout my early 20’s I was a big drinker so that definitely suppressed it. Or have you always known??
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
34,272 Posts
I always knew I was different but I didn't really know there was a name for it until I found this forum, TBH. So I was well into my 30s before I knew. I don't think I ever really knew anyone who seemed the same as me. There were some kids who were "different" but they had totally different issues than I had (mostly). But SA has never been my only issue so it was also more complicated than that.
 

·
(.*?)
Joined
·
6,697 Posts
Didn't know the name for it until my 20s, but knew what I was all along and learning the name didn't make any difference except for allowing me to join SAS.

Even in a family of highly introverted people, there was no way I could mistake myself for normal.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
94 Posts
No didn’t know until recently just put it down to my personality . Someone mentioned to me in University that he thought I had it but it was never formally diagnosed until recently.
 

·
lagrimas negras
Joined
·
1,752 Posts
At about 12-13yo I knew it wasn't normal to feel so anxious around people for no reason but didn't know there was a name for what I was living with.
 

·
Loathed Loiterer
Joined
·
8,250 Posts
I think it was preschool. Recesses at the indoor playground and I was always the kid standing around dumbfounded watching the other kids play in the center playstructure. I wanted to join, and knew I was suppose to, but my legs won't budge and I stood still watching. The other kids were all playing with each other while I had a lingering feeling if I joined, they other kids will not like be there and kick me out of the play structure. The teachers and school staffs will always urge me to play with them, but I won't. That was my earliest memory and maybe my starting point of me always being anxious and fearful around other kids. School staff will always tell my mom concerned about me and she will get angry. Which ironically would lead me to being even more socially withdrawn and anxious around others.

In elementary school, I was the same. But not sure why, but out of pure luck, a few other kids will get drawn to me for some reason which helped me formed my own little social niche at least. And socially that web gradually grew for me with that little social niche through middle school and high school. This is pretty much the basic social principle even in real life in the real world. Although after college, my social niche and social web gradually withered bit by bit. Now to nearly nothing. Looking back, I've also seen quite few other loner kids and I've always think to myself that they easily could've been what I ended up being.
 
  • Like
Reactions: jojy1

·
Failure's Art
Joined
·
2,323 Posts
I always knew I was different but didn't really have a name for it or anything until college which is when my SA (and everything else) started to get much worse. That's probably when I was like oh **** I have a problem and I need to figure out what is going on with me.
 

·
alien monk
Joined
·
8,615 Posts
my childhood was very confused and i didn't feel like i had any agency to identify anything about myself except that i was having a bad time. i didn't feel like i could be part of any group or know why or how i was different from most people. so i didn't know until i was in my early 20s.
 

·
bipolar
Joined
·
17,099 Posts
Probably late teens or early 20's I realised there was a problem but I can't remember if we called it that back then. (seeing it's about a thousand years ago) I do recall the Serepax started somewhere around then though - for me anyway.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
382 Posts
I think I started knowing I had SA as a child perhaps around 7 or 8 years old. I always felt my heart sink and on edge when I had to get into groups and do an activity. Throughout my school years I couldn't understand how others were so confident and able to talk about anything and everything whereas I just felt cut off and paranoid about what others were thinking of me.

I also hated it when I had to do a presentation in front of class. I know people get nervous but I literally felt like I had a prickly heat sensation and was about to faint.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,973 Posts
I think most of my SA is actually down to hundreds of little bad social experiences due to (almost certainly) being on the spectrum. So it's only gotten worse over the years. I mean, when you know that interacting with people inevitably leads to you being bullied more or less openly, eventually you decide it's not worth it. Never had much of a social drive to begin with. Now I equate meatspace interactions with pain.
 

·
SAS Member
Joined
·
239 Posts
I didn't have it as bad when I was a kid, but maybe around the start of middle school is when it really hit hard. I didn't get bullied really, because I was good at staying under the radar and not catching people's attention, but idk, maybe I started to realize how judgmental people were, or how much I didn't fit in, or how much I hated myself. Then I think the anxiety just got worse and worse as I got older. I was always quieter than everyone else though, even when I was really young, and I always liked my alone time and my privacy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9 Posts
I didn't know until 2 or 3 years ago. First I found out that I am an introvert and many people are like that. Soon, my so called shyness was social anxiety. To me, being shy was blushing when people talked to me. I'm not shy. i like to talk, just with the people I like and know I can get along with. Its weird. I can't talk to a fellow mother, who is also working hard, has goals in life, and likes to laugh a lot,..... just no connection. No offense, but more annoying than fun (introvert status). But a dude in his 50s, who cusses like a sailor/veteran, and tells me about the sh*t he use to do as a kid... I love talking with him lol.
I really did think I was the only person who just didn't talk much. I'm not stuck up, I just don't want to keep talking and talking and talking. Gets boring and tiring. I don't care what people did on their weekend, and I don't care to tell anyone my weekend. But get me on a subject I love, we can talk all day lol.
With my social anxiety, I can talk straight forward in a meeting of 4 people at most. if it becomes 5 or more people, i can't talk out loud. I'm too embarrassed. mostly, I try to speak but then someone else butts in and takes over my conversation. I hate that so much! So, F it. I did try talking louder, but my vocal cords just shut off at a certain volume. it's like I'm on mute when I try to talk louder in a crowded room.
mainly, I stay away from social things because I convince myself that I'm going to do something stupid, I'm going to be expected to talk to any stranger, I'm going to say something awkward, etc. It's funny because my husband is the total opposite of me. He can get along with anyone. So sometime I just let him do the talking and intros lol And then it takes a turn when it comes to official things that I take over the talking, such as talking to a real estate agent for a house, talking with the bank for a loan, or to the apartment manager for a lease. Somehow for some reason, i CAN do that kind of talking. Just not the "normal" social stuff like everyone else.
 

·
Socializing with myself
Joined
·
5,066 Posts
I've always knew that I don't fit in with society because of how I'm treated in the education system. The education system in America treated me as a foreign being. My classmates want me to acknowledge that they're ignoring me. My teachers are interested in isolating me further with interacting with children my age and learning from them. My teachers and classmates mental program by means task designed by the Supercomputers is to keep me in the same category where people have no other choice but to perceive me as handicapped, troublesome and below grade level. Children need context to express themselves to speak or write in order to be social with others and to participate in activities, but the Supercomputers made sure I received all forms of social barriers from everybody. I started improving myself by using the computer to speak to people online even though people insulted my grammar.

The task that the Supercomputers received came from the NSA programmers to maintain me in the same situation in the education system. My teachers made fun of my writing comprehension, reading comprehension and behavior. No one respected me when I was a kid at all. My parents tried to put me in a catholic school, but the staff refused to take me in due to my report card. School's academically judge students based off their report cards and the Supercomputers knew this because it manages the education system. The Supercomputers made sure that the teachers humiliate me on my report card and abuse their authority to put me at a disadvantage.

The Supercomputers and Programmers see's that I exceeded their expectation of what a human being suppose to be like for this reality. A human being isn't suppose show stable behavior, such as a consistent thought process, responsive emotions and recognizing facial expressions. I'm error in the management program that the programmers created for humanity.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
150 Posts
Discussion Starter · #17 ·
I've always knew that I didn't fit in with society because of how I'm treated in the education system. The education system in America treated me as a foreign being. My classmates are interested in making me acknowledge that they're ignoring me. My teachers are interested in isolating me further with interacting with children my age and learning from them. My teachers and classmates mental program by means task designed by the Supercomputers is to keep me in the same category where people have no other choice but to perceive me as handicapped, troublesome and below grade level. Children need context to express themselves to speak or write in order to be social with others and to participate in activities, but the Supercomputers made sure I received all forms of social barriers from everybody. I started improving myself by using the computer to speak to people online even though people insulted my grammar.

The task that the Supercomputers received came from the NSA programmers to maintain me in the same situation in the education system. My teachers made fun of my writing comprehension, reading comprehension and behavior. No one respected me when I was a kid at all. My parents tried to put me in a catholic school, but the staff refused to take me in due to my report card. School's academically judge students based off their report cards and the Supercomputers knew this because it manages the education system. The Supercomputers made sure that the teachers humiliate me on my report card and abuse their authority to put me at a disadvantage.

The Supercomputers and Programmers see's that I exceeded their expectation of what a human being suppose to be like for this reality. A human being isn't suppose show stable behavior, such as a consistent thought process, responsive emotions and recognizing facial expressions. I'm error in the management program that the programmers created for humanity.
I know exactly what you mean, people really are programmed to ostracise others. It really sux that you were treated that way, it’s not right at all
 
1 - 17 of 17 Posts
Top