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Somebody do something and I feel offfended. I get mad, angry but I am afraid to express my feelings for fear of rejection and retaliation. Causing me to repressed my negative feelings and in search of more positive feelings while my inside is full of anxiety and hurtful feelings; I soon get worn out. My anxiety increasing and increasing...

I feel that I need to either build up enough courage to stand for my feelings love or hate, or else I will never know myself and will always be lost.

Or I could build my courage to love and have compassion for myself and for other people.

what do you think?
 

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Do you cut yourself? Sorry for getting so personal, but it sounds like your ability to tolerate others actions is minimal. Is this because you get hurt by their actions or do their actions pose an alternative to your own reality and you aren't able to stand it.

Let me ask you another question: Do you feel like your feelings matter compared to others? Do you ever feel like you don't exist? Does this feeling of not existing fuel the rages?
 

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Strong emotions you are dealing with. I am sorry to hear about your pain. I will assume these people must have really done something offensive to make you feel such a way towards them. People who mean well can be very insensitive and not even realize it.

I understand your fears of rejection, but what they are doing is obviously troubling you. You need to let them know that, if even a little. A frown, a head shake...just a little something to let them know you're not liking what they are doing to you. And if they reject you, well, too bad. It will be their loss. They're not worth trying to keep.

And, yes! It is always a good idea to build up on love and compassion. Even a little should go a long ways.
 

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Just learn to love yourself and stand up for yourself. Most people in this world don't deserve compassion or love. Be strong enough to tell them off if they do something to hurt you and you most likely will start feeling better about yourself.
 
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