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I'd rather not have friends than have bad friends. I had friends in high school. Bad ones. One day they treated me like I'm important to them and the next day, they treated me like I didn't belong in their group. Dealing with people who treat others this way is a nuisance and I'm glad I don't have anyone I can call as a friend. That's how loyal I was when people ****ed me over too much.
 

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I do have friends, but I'm constantly worried that they don't like me and that I'm saying the "wrong" things. I'm very glad that they're my friends, but that mindset of anticipating abandonment from people is tricky tricky to leave behind.
 

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I've had one very close friend but we kind of had a "break up." Though I miss him in ways, it was also kind of a relief and I didn't really make an effort to reconnect. Tbh I still could reach out and some people have encouraged me to and I don't.

Sometimes I have to step back and be honest with myself. Not matter how difficult it is to make friends...am I really putting in the effort to do so? I want friends, but do I really want everything that comes with it?

My girlfriend is my best friend currently. But no matter how good your relationship is, there are things you can't discuss with your SO. Outside of that I have like one casual friend I hang out with occasionally. I know I need to make more of an effort if I want to form new friendships, but it's a battle between fighting my social anxiety/developing myself as a person someone finds interesting/and not actively avoiding the people who do show interest in me!
 

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Other people mostly bring distraction, novelty and moments of pleasure.

The reason you and many others cannot find meaning is because there is no meaning to be found. This is just a human concept, an invented idea foisted onto and into people because we seem incapable of just accepting life as we find it, the way all other living organisms do.

Adornment, augmentation, associations, definition, improvement, purpose, beliefs, believing, ideas, concepts, opinions, imagination, fantasy, making and taking sides, classification, categorization, attachment, identity, badges, labels, comparison, judgments, slogans, causes, validation, approval, goals, aims, plans, paths, achievement, completing, fixing and curing.

Once you see that the thoughts which cause you to suffer are not actually true, or real, your disbelieving them will delete them.
You have interesting thoughts, I used have a quite similarly nihilistic world view but of course nihilism is not an end but a way of creating new, truer meanings by destroying the old value systems.

There are very real reasons to want to be able to navigate people, interactions with them enrich the mind and create opportunities. It would be, in fact, very difficult to get anywhere in life without interacting with people to some degree. This gives the loneliness felt by many people on this forum a very real significance. You cannot argue that "I don't have any friends and I need them" is just a thought, when it signals a lack that has real consequences. I doubt feelings of loneliness would simply vanish if people decided to not believe them, you have far less control over your mind than you might think.

People want to go places, do things, they have desires, aspirations, I think it's misguided to claim that you don't need meaning. In fact you couldn't live without it. You would not do anything if you didn't feel it had meaning (for instance, you get out of bed in the morning in order to not die).

Some of the things you listed as 'not real' don't make sense to me: Ideas for example. How can you possibly claim ideas are not real when they've created all of your human surroundings. Even a chair was first an idea. And before it was an idea it was a meaning, the meaning of sitting down.
Classifications are also real: They exist in the world as similarities between objects just as the meaning of those objects exist as real potentials of action.

You might think that when you're observing the world you see a landscape of undifferentiated matter, like a 'graveyard of matter', just particles, and then decide to apply meaning to those masses. In fact this is not how your human mind works, you couldn't even see the world as an abstract landscape if you tried (try it). What you immediately perceive are meanings. The meaning of this chair is in its very shape, the meaning of that wheel is in the fact that it can roll.

This isn't maybe the place for this particular conversation but I'm curious to see what you answer :>
 

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I've been friendless IRL since 9th grade. It's not like I really talked much with my friends anyway, I'm the kind of person who is very quiet and only gives short answers most of the time.
Although I usually talk a lot with some friends I've made online, and some guys from my class from time to time.
 

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You have interesting thoughts, I used have a quite similarly nihilistic world view but of course nihilism is not an end but a way of creating new, truer meanings by destroying the old value systems.
I do not subscribe to any label/idea/belief/thing, so your reference to nihilism is not something I know anything about.

There are very real reasons to want to be able to navigate people, interactions with them enrich the mind and create opportunities.
It is hard to actually prove what other people bring us, but without doubt, other people cannot bring you anything of value. In addition, some people create perceived benefits from being with others, or perceive what they will get by being with others. Some of this is created by what they perceive other people apparently getting, by casual observation and/or the belief that "this is what people do", or by the thoughts in some form that they create in their mind about what being with other people will give them.

It would be, in fact, very difficult to get anywhere in life without interacting with people to some degree.
What exactly is "get anywhere"? And interacting can be many things. You need to be more specific when you refer to these things, so we are clear what were are talking about.
You will also find that a lack of clarity is often a common component in suffering.

This gives the loneliness felt by many people on this forum a very real significance. You cannot argue that "I don't have any friends and I need them" is just a thought, when it signals a lack that has real consequences.
The consequences of being alone come from a person's thoughts about being alone, not from the actual circumstances of them being alone. And the language you use here, a common problem for people especially those who suffer, can portray things in a certain way. For example, we should not use the word "unshaven", but we do and we take this to mean "someone who has not done something that they should have done". We should just refer to that state as "natural or shaven".
The same with "I have no friends" suggests you must/should have something that you do not.
And the word "lack" that you used too. It suggest "something that is missing".
But there is nothing actually missing, or lacking and that needs fixing or correcting. Its all in the conveying of opinions/ideas/beliefs, etc., woven into the fabric of our upbringing/conditioning since birth and which portrays how we should all live our lives in a particular way. And more importantly, this way is portrayed as "the right/correct/good way", when in fact all it is is "a way".
And there is not just one way to be social either. A person can customize how they are with one or more people, with frequency, duration, number of people, type of activity, etc., all shaped to suit. The fact that many people may not do this does not mean its not possible. It might be because many people just follow what they see other people doing, rather than knowing and then meeting their own true needs.

There is nothing wrong with having friends, a spouse, kids, etc., but no-one actually needs to have these things in order to be happy and peaceful and what people actually bring you is much much less than they actually do. The belief that most people do need them is because of the lack of education of our minds (which our conditioning omits) and also, that because most people in the world suffer in some way and that many of those people have bought into the idea that other people will help to end some or all of that suffering.

Its not anyone's fault that they believe "having friends/a social life" is considered "good", "right" and "normal", for this is what almost everyone is taught and raised to believe, either directly or indirectly. Add to that, the negative social narrative and portrayal of being alone as being "bad", "wrong", "sad", "unhappy", and that "something must be wrong", along with how public perceptions of what being with people is portrayed as (just look at adverts), creates a heavily weighted idea in many people's minds in favor of "you need to be social".

I doubt feelings of loneliness would simply vanish if people decided to not believe them, you have far less control over your mind than you might think.
Loneliness in not caused by a person being alone. And as many who are in relationships will tell you, this feeling is not taken away by being with a partner or friends. Loneliness is caused by a person's thoughts about being alone and what they believe/think it means. If a person examines the belief in the thoughts they have about being alone, they will find that there is nothing that underpin them and thus, no basis for them to hold onto the beliefs they have.

We actually can control our mind. How much I do not know, But for sure, if you are not in control of your mind, it is in the control of others, through other people's opinions, ideas/concepts, beliefs, fears, worries, fantasies, imagination, judgments, comparisons, etc etc etc., from those who have lived before as well as those who are alive now. Thus, if you are not in control of your mind, you are living other people's lives and not your own.

People want to go places, do things, they have desires, aspirations, I think it's misguided to claim that you don't need meaning.
"Go places, do things, aspirations" are modern inventions, woven into our conditioning like so many other things are. But again, they just exist in our minds as concepts and do not exist in reality.
We do not have education of our mind and so most people jumble up everything in life as though it is all part of their existence. They do not understand or realize that there are real things and then there are things which do not exist in reality and only exist in the mind,
Only what you can sense with one of your five senses is part of reality. All other things exist only in our mind. And they only exist when you think about them and not at any other time.

Meaning is just such a unreal thing, an invented concept. Its simply superimposed onto something in reality, but it does not exist as part of the facts. It is whatever a person wants it to be.

In fact you couldn't live without it. You would not do anything if you didn't feel it had meaning (for instance, you get out of bed in the morning in order to not die).
People can quite easily live (and live well) without meaning and be quite happy and peaceful, because meaning is not required for happiness or for life. Meaning is not part of nature since no other living thing requires or has meaning, purpose, or engages in ideas, concepts, opinions, etc., etc? Its simply a human invention.

And there isn't really anything to "do" in fact, beyond meeting our biological needs. All other things are optional but unnecessary. In your example of getting out of bed so as not to die (presumably from not drinking water and eating), the absence of someone not having meaning does not prevent them from getting up from their bed in the morning. A person does not require external forces or made up notions in order to get out of bed. Seeing life in this way is perhaps one reason why you might not be able to see why someone would get out of bed, without having meaning, purpose or any other made up idea in their minds as the force behind their choice.

Some of the things you listed as 'not real' don't make sense to me: Ideas for example. How can you possibly claim ideas are not real when they've created all of your human surroundings. Even a chair was first an idea. And before it was an idea it was a meaning, the meaning of sitting down.
All ideas are not real because they do not exist when we do not think about them. In the idea for a chair example, the manifestation of this idea into the physical world does not change the chair from being an idea because it appears in the physical world. It is still just an idea. The same applies to all such examples, where we manifest an idea by shaping something in the physical world to match that idea, or when we mold our behavior and base our choices and decisions on ideas/concepts, opinions, beliefs, etc.
What we shape is still only an idea, even if we are using things which are real, like materials.

Sitting down is not a meaning. Its an opinion.

Classifications are also real: They exist in the world as similarities between objects just as the meaning of those objects exist as real potentials of action.
Classifications are also opinions. The fact that many people chose to comply with any opinion does not change the opinions to a fact or a real thing. An opinion is still and always will be, an opinion.

The meaning of this chair is in its very shape, the meaning of that wheel is in the fact that it can roll.
The shape of the chair is to facilitate sitting - a function. Same for the wheel. Rolling is not meaning, its a function.
 

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I was always alone in kindergarten because i never made the attempt to make friends except for waiting for someone to approach me. I did have a friendgroup starting the first day of primary school, but i was pretty shy back then so my teacher thought i had autism and often set me apart from the rest of my class so i could play with legos.

In my second primary school i literally had no friends because 1. I was shy af 2. I was a half asian 3. I got bullied and gossiped for the rest of my time at that school about by my first friend and girlfriend in school. Eventually everyone in school decided to gossip about me or bully me (often in groups of 6 people from my class or classes of a year lower). So i decided to walk alone at school and never talk to anyone until i made a true friend during my 4th grade, that friendship didn't last long though because other people started bullying me for my race and because of the fact that i was this guy his friend. I even got ganged up on my final day of elementary school >.>

So the answer is: close to zero people
 

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It is hard to actually prove what other people bring us, but without doubt, other people cannot bring you anything of value. In addition, some people create perceived benefits from being with others, or perceive what they will get by being with others. Some of this is created by what they perceive other people apparently getting, by casual observation and/or the belief that "this is what people do", or by the thoughts in some form that they create in their mind about what being with other people will give them.
As I said previously: People bring each other immense pleasure. The love coming from fully embracing another human being is one of the most powerfully satisfying experiences one can have on this planet. People can also bring about real pain, but many will agree that it's a risk worth taking. People also bring conversation (which, incidentally, is what we're engaged in... If you didn't believe in the value of conversation, then you certainly would not have posted on any forum): Conversations are a means to destroy and recreate value systems, formulate new representations of reality (thoughts) with the goal of harmonising the ways in which we live...
On a larger scale, people bring you just about everything around you, unless you're living in the jungle, on your own (which would be impossible, you would die, almost immediately). I'm also going to assume you shop for food which you haven't personally gathered, use a computer, use words other people created, have ideas other people gave you, etc..etc... you get the point.

I'm not saying everyone needs people to socialise with, some very rare personalities might be able to go most of their lives without relationships (excluding an upbringing, which is really essential), however most people cannot, and even if they could (by as you say (Although I really doubt your belief in this) disbelieving people as a necessity) they will choose not to, because they desire people. Just as you might desire a hobby. (I'm assuming you do something other than simply "being")

What exactly is "get anywhere"? And interacting can be many things. You need to be more specific when you refer to these things, so we are clear what were are talking about.
You will also find that a lack of clarity is often a common component in suffering.
"Get anywhere" means anything from taking a taxi, to buying food, to earning money, to succeeding at your goals (You say goals aren't real, not exactly sure what you mean by that, I understand that they are thoughts, but thoughts exist... you are having them as you read this ( In passing, you said you don't think people really need goals, but as in the last example, even getting out of bed is first a goal inside your mind, which you then put into action...)). "Interacting" with another human being is anything from having a group of friends over for some casual fun, having an engaging philosophical conversation with an other, falling in love, making love, buying coffee... It's quite broad, there's nothing to be very specific about. Yes, a lack of clarity I would say is the biggest component to suffering.

The consequences of being alone come from a person's thoughts about being alone, not from the actual circumstances of them being alone.
You're wrong, people aren't imagining consequences. The consequences of being alone are real: Social isolation dramatically reduces opportunity, people desire opportunity. One of the worst things you can do to a prisoner is isolate them, people crave each other. Sure you can perhaps reach a meditative state where the desire for human interaction disappears momentarily, but you can't realistically exist as a human being in this state for very long. Why would you even want to?

And the language you use here, a common problem for people especially those who suffer, can portray things in a certain way. For example, we should not use the word "unshaven", but we do and we take this to mean "someone who has not done something that they should have done". We should just refer to that state as "natural or shaven".
The same with "I have no friends" suggests you must/should have something that you do not.
And the word "lack" that you used too. It suggest "something that is missing".
But there is nothing actually missing, or lacking and that needs fixing or correcting. Its all in the conveying of opinions/ideas/beliefs, etc., woven into the fabric of our upbringing/conditioning since birth and which portrays how we should all live our lives in a particular way. And more importantly, this way is portrayed as "the right/correct/good way", when in fact all it is is "a way".
The language exists in this form because most of human reality (certainly desire) is the experience of a lack. Any action is initially a lack, which you imagine in your mind and then anticipate the movements that will lead to that action becoming 'complete'. A more trivial thing like being "unshaven" comes as you say, from the general idea that people shave (You could call that a statistical fact created by culture).

Every single person on this forum has a real desire for human interaction, else they wouldn't be engaged here. The existence of that desire and the value of human interaction (that I described above) is the reason being alone is perceived as a lack, and one that you should overcome. That's simply the way the vast majority of human minds work, this is not culture but biology.

There is nothing wrong with having friends, a spouse, kids, etc., but no-one actually needs to have these things in order to be happy and peaceful and what people actually bring you is much much less than they actually do.
There is great beauty in solitude. But it's a great waste to run away from the difficulties of socialising out of anxiety/fear, surrendering to solitude whilst by the same hand giving up the richness that socialising can add to your life. That's the reason people want to overcome their social anxiety and make friends. (Don't understand that last part)

The belief that most people do need them is because of the lack of education of our minds (which our conditioning omits) and also, that because most people in the world suffer in some way and that many of those people have bought into the idea that other people will help to end some or all of that suffering.
You can be social and still be lonely. This just solidifies how real loneliness is: a biological impulse to approach and intimately engage with people which most if not everyone has. I think you're wrong in saying you've been conditioned to think something as fundamental to human existence as socialising is good. You're biologically predisposed to socialise, for good reasons.

Its not anyone's fault that they believe "having friends/a social life" is considered "good", "right" and "normal", for this is what almost everyone is taught and raised to believe, either directly or indirectly. Add to that, the negative social narrative and portrayal of being alone as being "bad", "wrong", "sad", "unhappy", and that "something must be wrong", along with how public perceptions of what being with people is portrayed as (just look at adverts), creates a heavily weighted idea in many people's minds in favor of "you need to be social".
No one sat down to decide to teach people that this is bad and that is good. Those realisations are inborn because being alone is a lack with real consequences. Different people will require different amounts of socialising to feel satisfied, people with social anxiety want to overcome the fears to be able to meet those basic human needs.
 

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Loneliness in not caused by a person being alone. And as many who are in relationships will tell you, this feeling is not taken away by being with a partner or friends. Loneliness is caused by a person's thoughts about being alone and what they believe/think it means. If a person examines the belief in the thoughts they have about being alone, they will find that there is nothing that underpin them and thus, no basis for them to hold onto the beliefs they have.
Being with a partner can (provided it's the right one) dramatically increase peace and happiness. I know this from my own experience and the experience of friends.

We actually can control our mind. How much I do not know, But for sure, if you are not in control of your mind, it is in the control of others, through other people's opinions, ideas/concepts, beliefs, fears, worries, fantasies, imagination, judgments, comparisons, etc etc etc., from those who have lived before as well as those who are alive now. Thus, if you are not in control of your mind, you are living other people's lives and not your own.
There is a great unconscious see in your mind, underneath your awareness. I would argue that people have much less control than they would like to believe. Just look at your own dreams for instance, or how quickly you react to things, or how real your fears feel and how much effect they have on the way you live. 99% of the thoughts you have are not your own, but things you've picked up from other people (Alan Watts, for instance). Although, of course, control and originality is something to strive for!

"Go places, do things, aspirations" are modern inventions, woven into our conditioning like so many other things are. But again, they just exist in our minds as concepts and do not exist in reality.
We do not have education of our mind and so most people jumble up everything in life as though it is all part of their existence. They do not understand or realize that there are real things and then there are things which do not exist in reality and only exist in the mind,
Only what you can sense with one of your five senses is part of reality. All other things exist only in our mind. And they only exist when you think about them and not at any other time.
"Doing things" is not a modern invention... You writing on this forum is a 'doing things' just as much as a monkey discovering how to make fire is a 'doing things'. Aspirations, progress, curiosity, thirst for knowledge are essential human characteristics, which exist in our minds for the purpose of manipulating reality. Things don't "just exist in our minds", they exist in our minds for real reasons, for instance, hunger exists to push me to feed myself, curiosity exists to push me to discover. You can't separate thoughts from the objective concrete world (Which no one has ever accurately measured or seen) as much as you are doing.
On a more fundamental level, have you not realised that all of reality is only a perception in your mind, as far as you can tell? (Just to clarify, I'm not denying the existence of an objective reality) You have never even seen the "real things" you claim to have such a firm grasp of. Everything you have ever touched, seen, smelled, heard has been a representation of the world in your mind. Thoughts are further, more complex representations of those initial representations, they are no less real, only more abstract.

Also, I wouldn't say thoughts don't exist until you think them, they exist on a potential level. For instance, a memory exists before you recall it, it has to, else the recall would be logically impossible.

Meaning is just such a unreal thing, an invented concept. Its simply superimposed onto something in reality, but it does not exist as part of the facts. It is whatever a person wants it to be.
It's ironic that you want to believe that meaning isn't real, yet here you are using words that are exactly that: meanings. (Note that words evolved naturally, they 'grew' out of the objective, into abstract representations). As far as meaning simply being what a person wants it to be: This is untrue. For instance, if you look at a human's face, you will see the meaning "this is a human's face" (the meaning can be wordless), without any decision. You'll now argue that in fact, you see an unidentified mass of matter and arranged in a certain way, and then decide "this is an eyeball", "this is a mouth" etc... But your mind doesn't operate like this, if you try to decide to get rid of all the meaning, you will find it almost impossible. You cannot NOT see a face, and if you can, the rest of your field of vision and all of the being around you will still reside in meaning. Really, try getting rid of meaning, it's impossible

People can quite easily live (and live well) without meaning and be quite happy and peaceful, because meaning is not required for happiness or for life. Meaning is not part of nature since no other living thing requires or has meaning, purpose, or engages in ideas, concepts, opinions, etc., etc? Its simply a human invention.
A human invention? What of the dog who understands his own name? Or at least, understands that the sound of his name means something
Secondly, if meaning is in man, meaning is part of nature, man being a part of nature.

And there isn't really anything to "do" in fact, beyond meeting our biological needs. All other things are optional but unnecessary. In your example of getting out of bed so as not to die (presumably from not drinking water and eating), the absence of someone not having meaning does not prevent them from getting up from their bed in the morning. A person does not require external forces or made up notions in order to get out of bed. Seeing life in this way is perhaps one reason why you might not be able to see why someone would get out of bed, without having meaning, purpose or any other made up idea in their minds as the force behind their choice.
So you would be content with eating, drinking, and defecating in an empty room for the rest of your life? Are those the only necessities? Lack of meaning is dangerous, lack of meaning leads to suicide. Even if the meaning you live for is to "be happy and peaceful", that is still as much a meaning as "fall in love, live in luxury", you've simply reduced life to more naked components.

All ideas are not real because they do not exist when we do not think about them. In the idea for a chair example, the manifestation of this idea into the physical world does not change the chair from being an idea because it appears in the physical world. It is still just an idea. The same applies to all such examples, where we manifest an idea by shaping something in the physical world to match that idea, or when we mold our behavior and base our choices and decisions on ideas/concepts, opinions, beliefs, etc.
What we shape is still only an idea, even if we are using things which are real, like materials.
If you look closely, you will find that there is no such thing as an idea that is not connected to the real world. For instance, you cannot think of the word "chair" without imagining a real world object with real properties. (four legs, a seating place, etc). Words are not just words, they are auditory representations of the real world, sentences are more complex representations, ideas even more so, and so on. They represent real things and are direct results of the real things they represent. there is no such thing as an idea in a void. You can't even say that an idea doesn't exist until you think about it... that statement is absurd, things don't magically appear out of thin air. You become aware of the idea, but it exists whether you see it or not. All thoughts were born out of the objective reality, they are just as real, only more subtle, complex, and abstract.

Sitting down is not a meaning. Its an opinion.
An opinion? An opinion is a personal interpretation, sitting down is the meaning of an action. The action has meaning because you sit in order to rest your legs, or do something down on the ground, etc...

Classifications are also opinions. The fact that many people chose to comply with any opinion does not change the opinions to a fact or a real thing. An opinion is still and always will be, an opinion.
Classifications can be opinions in the sense that they are interpretations of the world. But the similarities they describe are real similarities. For instance, you could classify a series of objects as "red objects" because the reality of the light bouncing off their surface is consistently similar. One person might think, "well this object is less red than the others..." and create a new category called "orange objects". But the classifications have their basis in fact, always. (they're justified on a particular level of complexity)

Yes, an opinion is an opinion. We can agree on that, lol.

The shape of the chair is to facilitate sitting - a function. Same for the wheel. Rolling is not meaning, its a function.
I didn't say rolling is meaning (Although it can be in the sense of movement), I said the meaning of a wheel is that it can roll. Chair: Something I can sit on.

Long story short, there is always meaning. You can try, but it will be impossible to live without it. (Well, it will be impossible to even get rid of it in the first place).
 

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I have no friends since I was 13 when I realized my social anxiety and left my friends..
I had 3 friends but not real friends.
 

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I've had friends at certain points in my life, but having friends and being happy don't always go hand-to-hand. Even when I was hanging out with people, I never felt comfortable around others and always wanted to leave to be by myself. I always felt miserable when around friends and felt even more worse when I was alone.
 

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unpleasant, can't talk normally amongst other people, never shared my thoughts, introvert, bad communication skill -- never had any friends -- weirdest person ever :frown2:
You look like a girl i used to work with. That's a compliment btw xD
 

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unpleasant, can't talk normally amongst other people, never shared my thoughts, introvert, bad communication skill -- never had any friends -- weirdest person ever :frown2:
That's how I feel.

The last real friends I had were in grade school. At this point I've kind of lost hope of ever making any friends, or having a genuine relationship.

There's times where I feel like an alien, like I don't belong anywhere and have no idea how to relate to human beings.
 

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That's how I feel.

The last real friends I had were in grade school. At this point I've kind of lost hope of ever making any friends, or having a genuine relationship.

There's times where I feel like an alien, like I don't belong anywhere and have no idea how to relate to human beings.
where do you live? perhaps you can go to a meeting where people like you are. some sort of group for people with sa or other mental illnes or for lonely people. people can relate to you there and you will feel more save. could be a good chance to get a friend.
 

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I've never had any friends either. I didn't have anything in common with other kids when I was young, and my parents were controlling and overprotective. I've always felt like an alien, as other's have described here. I don't fit in with the normal people and how they live their lives.

To be friends you need to have shared experiences and be bonded together, which takes time. After school and university there is no environment to really be able to form friendships. Those are the places which force you to be with and interact with others, allowing those bonds to form. Now people are living their own lives. How do you meet people to form close, meaningful friendships with? People who already have a lot of friends, which is basically everyone, aren't going to become your best friend who you can rely on.

Meeting other lonely people who can relate is probably the best way. But lonely people like me don't really put themselves out there in the first places, otherwise they won't be lonely. Where are all the lonely people? How do you meet them, and is it possible to form deep meaningful relationships together?
 

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I've never had any friends either. I didn't have anything in common with other kids when I was young, and my parents were controlling and overprotective. I've always felt like an alien, as other's have described here. I don't fit in with the normal people and how they live their lives.

To be friends you need to have shared experiences and be bonded together, which takes time. After school and university there is no environment to really be able to form friendships. Those are the places which force you to be with and interact with others, allowing those bonds to form. Now people are living their own lives. How do you meet people to form close, meaningful friendships with? People who already have a lot of friends, which is basically everyone, aren't going to become your best friend who you can rely on.

Meeting other lonely people who can relate is probably the best way. But lonely people like me don't really put themselves out there in the first places, otherwise they won't be lonely. Where are all the lonely people? How do you meet them, and is it possible to form deep meaningful relationships together?
I've had friends, but I never felt attached to them, or really cared for them. I know that sounds cruel, but it's true. Sure we'd have fun together, but I'd rarely open up to them. I was just the kid that would hang out with them once in a while. I was never the best friend or even close friend. Unfortunately it took me a long time to realize that I've been miserable for most of my life. My misery was always masked with video games or online media like YouTube. Hopefully we can make a change, and find some fulfillment in this life.

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I love you guys! I have a weird 'friendship' with a guy who's never really had friends/made friends beyond two guys he's known since he was little, 'cos he says he feels like he can't talk to people, he wants to but feels when he opens his mouth he steps into an abyss, he does not feel solid. He said he feels incapable of reaching out to people and they usually just leave him anyway, so there is no point in trying to connect. And yet he tried to connect with me, every once in a while, and so I made an effort with him despite the fact that it was like talking to a stone at first. I did not give up, I persevered, and today we are friends. Which is great! But now the next step is, getting him comfortable with going out with me. He struggles. I am seeing now that all this is quite usual/normal for SA. Hey, if you any of you need a friend, I'm pretty good with support, as I'm real patient and I stick around. ;)
 
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