I'm currently in an abusive living environment because of my SA and lack of money. Renting a room/having a roommate would be more realistic than trying to get my own place, but I just think the person would think I was so strange due to lack of a social life/friends that they would decide it wouldn't work out. Also I would feel uncomfortable when the person had people over. If others have had roommates, how did it work out? I'm wondering if it would be better to have a roommate that also has SA because I feel I would be judged if the roommate didn't have SA.
Has anyone been in a roommate situation?
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First of all, Im so sorry you are suffering there! I hope you can escape it soon.
Well, I once was in an abusive environment and had to get out. I tried to get out by any means, I had no money, and no family support.. so I got a job interstate on a resort, where accomodation was provided! I had to find a couple hundred for the airfares, but I didnt need anything else other than the clothes on my back. Maybe this might be of interest to you? Most job interviews for these resorts are over the phone. So it might be easier on you to get the job? Some resorts hire seasonal workers, for these you dont need much skills. I got a job housekeeping/room attendant in one of the hotels. Once your in, you can move around and might end up doing other things, I did a shift or 2 at the bar clearing tables, for xmas and new years because they were shortstaffed. Being the table cleaner no one really talks to you, so I guess it wasnt a bad job having SA, even though the bar was packed with hundreds.
I can say it wasnt easy! Being on my own, somewhere foreign.. I also had to live with 3 other people! Shared a room with 1, 2 others in another room, only time I saw the others was when in the kitchen or bathroom which was shared between 4 of us.
My first roommate, (who I shared the room with) was a total *****, she was extreemly outgoing and always had party people over, to a point where I had to get up at 6am for work and Id have 10 people in the room drinking all night. She was horrible. I ended up having a fight (well some friends I made there had a fight on behalf of me, I was knocked out), but the good thing that came out of that was a girl friend I made there took me in to her room as she didnt have a roommate, and it was perfect! We worked different hours so Id be at work when she was home and shed be working when I was home, so we barely saw each other, which made it great.
Also doing housekeeping, your working alone 90% of the time. So work wasnt bad. Although in a resort environment there is lots of party people, it was hard to escape the trap of 'socializing' every night.
So I guess Ive had both the very bad and the perfect roommates! (sorry for the ramble)
Well, I once was in an abusive environment and had to get out. I tried to get out by any means, I had no money, and no family support.. so I got a job interstate on a resort, where accomodation was provided! I had to find a couple hundred for the airfares, but I didnt need anything else other than the clothes on my back. Maybe this might be of interest to you? Most job interviews for these resorts are over the phone. So it might be easier on you to get the job? Some resorts hire seasonal workers, for these you dont need much skills. I got a job housekeeping/room attendant in one of the hotels. Once your in, you can move around and might end up doing other things, I did a shift or 2 at the bar clearing tables, for xmas and new years because they were shortstaffed. Being the table cleaner no one really talks to you, so I guess it wasnt a bad job having SA, even though the bar was packed with hundreds.
I can say it wasnt easy! Being on my own, somewhere foreign.. I also had to live with 3 other people! Shared a room with 1, 2 others in another room, only time I saw the others was when in the kitchen or bathroom which was shared between 4 of us.
My first roommate, (who I shared the room with) was a total *****, she was extreemly outgoing and always had party people over, to a point where I had to get up at 6am for work and Id have 10 people in the room drinking all night. She was horrible. I ended up having a fight (well some friends I made there had a fight on behalf of me, I was knocked out), but the good thing that came out of that was a girl friend I made there took me in to her room as she didnt have a roommate, and it was perfect! We worked different hours so Id be at work when she was home and shed be working when I was home, so we barely saw each other, which made it great.
Also doing housekeeping, your working alone 90% of the time. So work wasnt bad. Although in a resort environment there is lots of party people, it was hard to escape the trap of 'socializing' every night.
So I guess Ive had both the very bad and the perfect roommates! (sorry for the ramble)
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Hi,
Shared living can be hell. I have moved three times recently, and dealt w/so many wacky (to me anyway) issues/people that were painful, uncomfortable, etc.
Best thing I can recommend as someone who has SA, is to look for a place that is QUIET. Specify that the home is generally quiet. I did that where I am now, and I'm sharing with two people who are quiet type people. I am having problems, a little, but not big problems, and mostly it feels fine to me, and I am so grateful. The one gal, who I'm renting from, works as an accountant, very stable and normal and quiet type. The other gal actually is hearing impaired, which it seems makes her more sensitive and quieter. Most people aren't going to be on the quiet side, but if you search for this your chances will be better.
I moved to the place I'm in now in March. Before that I was sharing with two quieter, more sensitive type people, but the woman there turned out to be a bit of an angry monster-before I left she told me at one point she didn't want to have any more conversations with me. She was difficult. She chopped fresh vegetables and it was just a noisy, violent type of experience for me. She was a frustrated unhappy person, IMO. Also her partner was particular, and they were sensitive to smells: didn't like the smell of my coffee, smell of my popcorn bothered them. Although I had these problems I made the best of it, it actually became unbearable for me when another woman moved in-who was not a sensitive type of person. I felt victimized by her and the other gal, somewhat, and was insulted, sleep disturbed.
Place before that was bad too.
I like living with people, but working it out so it suits you is tricky. It is really impossible to know the little things people do that might bug you until you actually live with them!
Shared living can be hell. I have moved three times recently, and dealt w/so many wacky (to me anyway) issues/people that were painful, uncomfortable, etc.
Best thing I can recommend as someone who has SA, is to look for a place that is QUIET. Specify that the home is generally quiet. I did that where I am now, and I'm sharing with two people who are quiet type people. I am having problems, a little, but not big problems, and mostly it feels fine to me, and I am so grateful. The one gal, who I'm renting from, works as an accountant, very stable and normal and quiet type. The other gal actually is hearing impaired, which it seems makes her more sensitive and quieter. Most people aren't going to be on the quiet side, but if you search for this your chances will be better.
I moved to the place I'm in now in March. Before that I was sharing with two quieter, more sensitive type people, but the woman there turned out to be a bit of an angry monster-before I left she told me at one point she didn't want to have any more conversations with me. She was difficult. She chopped fresh vegetables and it was just a noisy, violent type of experience for me. She was a frustrated unhappy person, IMO. Also her partner was particular, and they were sensitive to smells: didn't like the smell of my coffee, smell of my popcorn bothered them. Although I had these problems I made the best of it, it actually became unbearable for me when another woman moved in-who was not a sensitive type of person. I felt victimized by her and the other gal, somewhat, and was insulted, sleep disturbed.
Place before that was bad too.
I like living with people, but working it out so it suits you is tricky. It is really impossible to know the little things people do that might bug you until you actually live with them!
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