[purpleice]

I don't start many threads on this forum but maybe I need to vent, talk or write

On Sunday, I'm supposed to see my two friends which I haven't seen in over a year. You'd think I'd be looking forward to it. However, I don't feel like going. I wonder if being by yourself makes you not glad or somewhat glad to hang out with others because we've been solo for long periods in between and were used to that?

When I do go somewhere and I'm around other people, I always find that after a while I start feeling drained and I can't wait to be alone again so I can try to recharge. Sometimes I'm like this when I go out shopping by myself. It's like shopping drains me.

Does anyone else ever feel like this or has felt this way?

 

[Franky]

I feel exactly the same way.

I'm probably going to hang out with a friend of mine that I haven't seen in a while this weekend and i sorta just can't be bothered. Like he'll tell me about all the stuff that has been up to and then he'll ask about me and I'll have nothing much to say and I'll just feel like a loser...and yeah I feel really drained after it and just want to go back to being by myself, but then I get lonely by myself so its kinda catch 22.

 

[AHolivier]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way - if I find myself meeting an old friend in public, I get tired and want to go back home to my comfort zone.

 

[red jade]

Yeah, I know what you mean. The draining feeling comes from not being able to relax and be yourself. The longer its been since I've seen someone, the more uncomfortable it is for me to hang out with them. I think it's because I'm worried I'll say the wrong thing - people who know me really well and see me all the time will understand if I say something weird or don't talk enough, but someone who I see less often might not get me. It's silly, and I'm working on realizing that I am myself no matter who I'm talking to, and I don't need to work to please anyone but me.

Oh, and the shopping thing I totally agree with. Too many strangers and salespeople walking around, it makes me anxious and tired.

 

[titan1978]

Same feeling here...theres one constant with me...after a while in a group..i tend to start to slowly find myself at the periphery....looking inwards....worst part is how consistent this becomes!!!

 

[Scrub-Zero]

I dont even get to the meeting point. I always find an excuse not to go meet anyone. I guess thats why no one bothers to invite me anywhere now. When i'm out with people i always look bored and distant, so i might as well not be there at all.
It's too draining and i'm kinda tired of trying to be who i can't be.

 

[detweiler]

Same feeling here...theres one constant with me...after a while in a group..i tend to start to slowly find myself at the periphery....looking inwards....worst part is how consistent this becomes!!!

Same. I'm sick of walking faster to catch up with my "friends", or wondering how I ended up quite literally on the side, or asking "What happened?" or "What'd you say?" This is generally when I get on myself for making the effort to see these people in the first place.

 

[kanarazu]

Yes I feel the same way, even with some of my closest friends. I don't know if more practice hanging with people will make this go away or not

 

[rockst4r]

yea i think practice would def help... i'm starting to hang out with people and pushing myself to go as well because i find myself having the urge to cancel once the event arrives. Tomorrow i planned a picnic with my two friends from jhs... when ever there are more than one person around i get extremely anxious!! i haven't seen one of them in yearssssss.sinch jhs...hopefully it goes well!!

 

[foxwithwings13]

Wow Call me ignorant but I'd never heard of anyone else mention the draining feeling! I get that ALL the time!!!!

 

[rb1088]

I would love to hangout with some people, but then when I do I am bored with them. I really don't know.

 

[trying2]

I feel like this too! I'm able to connect with people who are really over the top enthusiastic and positive because they make such an effort to get to know me- with everyone else I get exhausted trying to make conversation and I end up being quiet and awkward or coming off like a jerk. My boyfriend (who is over the top friendly) pointed out that I'm lonely when I'm by myself but I don't try to make new friends because I don't really like most people. That's true, but I think it's only because it's easier to find things wrong with other people and not try to be friends with them than to get over the anxiety of making conversation. And it's definitely easier to cancel on people and just be alone, but then the loneliness kicks in.

And yes- I hate it when sales people approach me in a store!

 

[backspace]

I fill the same way some time's, I just started two week's vacation today, and i have a friend that i have known forever who wants me to come hang out with his family tonight, but it's like i have no desire to sit around and try to entertain somebody for several hours, even though i have absolutely nothing to worry about for two weeks. I mean seriously, i am on vacation, i have nothing to do, no where to go, Buddie's having a bbq at his house and i all i can think about is how it would be a pain in the *** to go over there............

 

[purpleice]

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who feels tired and exhausted around this type of thing. Anyway, I ended up seeing my friends after all. We went to the mall, had lunch and just browsed whatever store we wanted. It was actually kinda nice. For the most part, I didn't feel too drained as I usually do. However, towards the end before I left, I was kinda glad to go so maybe I did a little.

I don't know why I worried so much about it in the first place? It's that anticipatory anxiety I suffer from. It causes me to overthink and worry. I hate that.

 

[Rocket07]

Not only is it draining to be with them, and many times boring, it is draining to get ready to BE with them. If I have plans on a Saturday night, I spend most of the afternoon worrying about what to wear and how the night will go, who will be there, what will we do--more often than not, that alone drains me so much I cancel on people at the last minute. Ok, does anyone else feel this way--sometimes I feel much more comfortable having been asked out by several different people, yet I turn them all down and stay home on a Saturday night--but I feel good because I could have gone somewhere yet i chose to stay home alone and in my comfort zone? I feel good that I had the option to do something yet I choose not to but sometimes halfway through the night I end up regretting my decision to stay home. Of course, staying home on a Saturday night and never being asked out at all is the worst.

 

[roverred]

yeah it happens to me when I don't see my friends for awhile. Takes some hanging out to get my mind to connect to socializing again. If I dont' go in there too negative, it usually ends up a good time and I realize wow I was hesitating for no good reason, my mind was playing me. I usually just force myself now.