Over the past month I've been trying to push myself harder and harder to do social things, especially things I would never do. Two months ago I would see a friend or two maybe once a week at most, but now for example I try to hang out with the group at least 4 days a week.
Anyway, my parents went out of town and I decided to throw a party, a big party. Anyway, I did on saturday night! I was freaking out all week long, and had to rely on others to handle setting up the music and inviting people and bringing booze. I started to panic as people started getting to my house but I took 1mg of Lorazepam and from then on I was ok.
Better than ok! Everyone told me it was a great party, I guess 40 or so people showed up and everyone was dancing and having a great time. I don't actually know though, since I spent the whole night making out with a girl I'd just met! I'd never kissed a girl before (let alone fingering her!) so that was awesome! I got her number, had her and her friend over again tonight and we kissed some more mmmmm
It did get rough at one point when we were just sitting and everyone was quiet, but I had taken more Lorazepam before they came so I managed to push the anxiety away before it became a panic attack (usually can't do that even on drugs).
So I'm just feeling great! Parties and girls are the biggest component of my anxiety (strangers and crowds don't bother me much) and at 22 I was wondering if I'd ever kiss a girl, so this is just incredible for me!
Thanks for reading!
Anyway, my parents went out of town and I decided to throw a party, a big party. Anyway, I did on saturday night! I was freaking out all week long, and had to rely on others to handle setting up the music and inviting people and bringing booze. I started to panic as people started getting to my house but I took 1mg of Lorazepam and from then on I was ok.
Better than ok! Everyone told me it was a great party, I guess 40 or so people showed up and everyone was dancing and having a great time. I don't actually know though, since I spent the whole night making out with a girl I'd just met! I'd never kissed a girl before (let alone fingering her!) so that was awesome! I got her number, had her and her friend over again tonight and we kissed some more mmmmm
It did get rough at one point when we were just sitting and everyone was quiet, but I had taken more Lorazepam before they came so I managed to push the anxiety away before it became a panic attack (usually can't do that even on drugs).So I'm just feeling great! Parties and girls are the biggest component of my anxiety (strangers and crowds don't bother me much) and at 22 I was wondering if I'd ever kiss a girl, so this is just incredible for me!
Thanks for reading!
