[Michael1973]

Have any of you ever been in a position where you felt like you had to lie to avoid an uncomfortable situation, even though you generally feel horrible for telling a lie of any kind? In other words, either way you lose.

I recently got invited to an event I do not want to attend. That by itself isn't a huge deal for me, however a friend of mine was also invited and the only way he can go is if I drive him. So now I'm feeling exceptionally guilty because by not going, I'm forcing him to stay home that night.

Initially, I was also feeling awful because I had no real alternate plans that night and would have had to make up a phony reason why I couldn't go (I hate that). However, now something else has come up that I can do instead on the same night. So I can now truthfully say, sorry I have other plans. Problem solved, right?

Of course not. I'm still feeling guilty because my friend won't be able to go to this event, and because I could have very easily rescheduled the second activity if I'd really wanted to. I'm also trying to figure out what I'll tell them if they ask what my other plans are (for long, complicated reasons, I can't tell them the truth on that either.)

How DO other people deal with life so easily?

 

[Freiheit]

I've been in situations like this. Any event that I ever got invited to I basically made up a lie that I was busy with something else and in one case, I even went into greater detail explaining the "imaginary" plans I already had just so my friend wouldn't suspect I was lying cos I previously made a similar excuse.

 

[CoconutHolder]

How DO other people deal with life so easily?

They either:
A) Have close to no problems with their self esteem and don't worry as much as others (esp. about what others think, etc...)
B) They are scared but then get over it as the event goes on by focusing on other things/enjoying themselves & possibly others too.
C) They feel the fear and do it anyway, like this: :afr.
D) Drink and/or do drugs to get through it.
E) Other. (?)